Broken by Christina Leigh Pritchard Page A

the shelf
and wait
for one person
who has no feelings for me
my heart is not bait
for you
to use as practice
 
    ________________
     
     
That Look
 
    that look you give me
makes my heart ache
cause this feeling just cannot be
and a relationship we're unable to make
but I still shiver at your touch
and try to push back butterflies
and pretend it doesn't bother me as much
as it does
but am afraid it all may be lies
to myself
so I must keep away from you
so that any harm I may cause
won't come true
 
    ________________
Why?
 
    Why can’t you just go away?
Why don’t you just leave me alone?
Please don’t stay
Cause my heart you don’t own
Nor will you ever
If things do not change
I’ll be enslaved to you
And my life disarranged
And my freedoms will be few
For your look captures me
But your games break my heart constantly.
 
    ________________
     
     
Nothing
 
    Nothing you say
Could make me stay
Here with you
Nothing you do
Could get me to change my mind
Cause my heart you’ll never find
Nor will you want to
Cause I am too afraid of loving you
I’ll fight it till the end
And on you I’d never depend
For I am not made to be a kept woman.
     
     
 
    ________________
Invalid
 
    Many times I’ve tried
To get you to notice me
But to myself I’ve lied
Thinking it was not meant to be
& now realize all the tears I’ve cried
Are invalid
For this whole time you did
Love me
But I was too afraid to accept it
    ________________
I tried
 
    I tried to let you go
But you came back
I tried to make you grow up
But you stayed the same
Maturity you lack
At your every call
I always came
I tried to say I need you
But you were not there at all
Now you say this is how it will always be
But this is not for me
I tried
Having someone to love apparently
is not your choice.
 
    ________________
Mixed Feelings
 
    You are mine
But not that way
Like aged wine
You are reserved for that special day
When all those thoughts
You have held onto
Fill in the puzzle’s missing spots
And create life’s picture for you
I don’t want you to spoil
As does wine when opened too soon
My feelings are like dirty oil
Ever changing as does the moon
For I think one way
But after our eyes meet
I kinda feel like with you I need to stay
But then I look down at my feet
And see you for real
And get confused for some of your touches
Make it hard to not feel
Those butterflies as your arm brushes
Against mine
But I need to stay away
And so do you.
    ________________
    The Fool

Walking aimlessly
After you
Holding onto every word
Is what I do
Hoping that the things said
Mean what I want
But it is just friendship I get instead
Cause all I have sought
Has been in vain
And you allowed me to think otherwise
So now I am in pain
Cause no one hears the cries
Of the fool
Who lets another
Treat her so cruel
    ________________
Forbidden
 
    I try so hard to not feel
but it never works when you come around
when you look into my eyes I get weak
and am ready to do your will
you make it hard to not let my heart be found
and you make it so I am unable to speak
the truth out loud
to the world
cause this cannot happen
so i will just ignore it when i feel my heart pound
and pretend it is a lie
for you and I
are forbidden
 
    ________________
Every Time

every time I look into your eyes
I see a paradise for two
but then the truth is really lies
when I turn away from you
and see you wearing a disguise
and realize there is nothing I can do
to save myself from you
I am stuck in a hopeless battle full of pain
cause no matter what I do
there is nothing I can gain
by loving or hating you
 
    ________________
    I don’t have much time
To sit here and wait
For you to get caught in your crime
And leave me as your bait
Always you scheme
life is one big mess
But what I know you couldn’t even dream
So why not just confess
Your lies
And help remove the chains
Wrapped across my eyes
So that I can have control over