have believed a gentle swipe of a finger at the back of his knee could have him wanting more, or the caress over the arch of his foot would have him needing it.
He risked a quick look at the man looming over him. Jared's eyes were alight with desire and need, and his bottom lip was drawn between sharp, white teeth in a way that made Kyle think Jared was holding himself back. Kyle groaned, and Jared's ministrations instantly stopped.
Jared looked up, the multicolored flecks in his eyes focusing with an intensity that was disturbing, making Kyle feel like he was being scrutinized from the inside out. He didn't like the feeling. Jared was judging him, and Kyle knew he didn't come up to Jared's expectations. Not anymore.
Humiliation once again twisted through Kyle's stomach as the cold reality of where he was and why he was there mingled with the memory of the heated groan he'd released at Jared's touch. Jared, the man he'd walked away from when he'd found out where Jared lived, the man Kyle had decided wasn't worth the agony of reliving past hurts, the man who was now standing over him with a look of want in his eyes. Dignity lost, exposed, vulnerable, Kyle broke. He couldn't do this; he couldn't lie here and pretend he hadn't ruined everything or that he had the ability to fix it. He struggled to sit up, not even bothering to hide the stab of pain that hit his body as he did so. With a strength he didn't know he possessed, Kyle grabbed the edge of the narrow hospital bed and slid completely off. He couldn't suppress a gasp of pain as his cast-covered foot thumped on the floor, but he managed to hold back the string of curses as the dull ache in his chest flared bright and clear.
"What are you doing?" Jared asked, concern now lighting his eyes as he stepped back to Kyle's side.
"I don't know, I just...I need to get out of here."
Jared frowned at him. "Now? The doctor said to stay another night."
"He signed my release forms, and I don't want to stay here another night. Just help me out here, Jared, okay?"
"And where do you intend to go?"
Kyle didn't know; he honestly didn't know. He met Jared's dark gaze, finding a challenge in them that surprised him. "Wherever," he said, gingerly putting some weight on his good leg.
"Kyle..."
"No! I don't need this, Jared. I can't cope right now. If you don't want to help, then get the fuck out of my face!"
Jared's body stilled, his face becoming impassive, his eyes dulling until they were blank. Kyle curled his hands into fists and tried desperately not to show his misery. This had been his chance to make right what he'd done wrong, to get Jared to accept an apology, not to fucking alienate him.
"Shit, I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean that."
"Yes you did." Jared dropped his blank gaze and moved away, his limbs awkward as if he had no control over them.
"No. Wait." He wasn't sure how to do this, he wasn't even sure what he was supposed to be doing, but he couldn't let Jared walk out on him while angry. Fuck, he didn't want Jared to walk out on him at all. "What do you want from me, Jared?"
"Want? What I want doesn't seem to matter, does it?"
"Yes it does." Kyle reached out and ran his fingers down Jared's arm, needing to reassure him. God, how wrong he'd been. He should have stayed, should have talked to Jared, should have explained. "It means everything."
Jared's jaw clenched, and something flickered deep in the depths of his beautifully expressive eyes. "Fine, then you're coming home with me."
Home? Jared's home? The sudden sick feeling that swept through Kyle's stomach had nothing to do with the drugs that had been pumped through his body but the memories of a hatred he hadn't deserved, of a rejection that had hurt beyond anything he'd ever felt before or since.
He stared at Jared, not sure if Jared understood what he was asking. But of course he didn't because Kyle hadn't said a damn word about what had made him walk out of that hotel room. A tight band squeezed
He risked a quick look at the man looming over him. Jared's eyes were alight with desire and need, and his bottom lip was drawn between sharp, white teeth in a way that made Kyle think Jared was holding himself back. Kyle groaned, and Jared's ministrations instantly stopped.
Jared looked up, the multicolored flecks in his eyes focusing with an intensity that was disturbing, making Kyle feel like he was being scrutinized from the inside out. He didn't like the feeling. Jared was judging him, and Kyle knew he didn't come up to Jared's expectations. Not anymore.
Humiliation once again twisted through Kyle's stomach as the cold reality of where he was and why he was there mingled with the memory of the heated groan he'd released at Jared's touch. Jared, the man he'd walked away from when he'd found out where Jared lived, the man Kyle had decided wasn't worth the agony of reliving past hurts, the man who was now standing over him with a look of want in his eyes. Dignity lost, exposed, vulnerable, Kyle broke. He couldn't do this; he couldn't lie here and pretend he hadn't ruined everything or that he had the ability to fix it. He struggled to sit up, not even bothering to hide the stab of pain that hit his body as he did so. With a strength he didn't know he possessed, Kyle grabbed the edge of the narrow hospital bed and slid completely off. He couldn't suppress a gasp of pain as his cast-covered foot thumped on the floor, but he managed to hold back the string of curses as the dull ache in his chest flared bright and clear.
"What are you doing?" Jared asked, concern now lighting his eyes as he stepped back to Kyle's side.
"I don't know, I just...I need to get out of here."
Jared frowned at him. "Now? The doctor said to stay another night."
"He signed my release forms, and I don't want to stay here another night. Just help me out here, Jared, okay?"
"And where do you intend to go?"
Kyle didn't know; he honestly didn't know. He met Jared's dark gaze, finding a challenge in them that surprised him. "Wherever," he said, gingerly putting some weight on his good leg.
"Kyle..."
"No! I don't need this, Jared. I can't cope right now. If you don't want to help, then get the fuck out of my face!"
Jared's body stilled, his face becoming impassive, his eyes dulling until they were blank. Kyle curled his hands into fists and tried desperately not to show his misery. This had been his chance to make right what he'd done wrong, to get Jared to accept an apology, not to fucking alienate him.
"Shit, I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean that."
"Yes you did." Jared dropped his blank gaze and moved away, his limbs awkward as if he had no control over them.
"No. Wait." He wasn't sure how to do this, he wasn't even sure what he was supposed to be doing, but he couldn't let Jared walk out on him while angry. Fuck, he didn't want Jared to walk out on him at all. "What do you want from me, Jared?"
"Want? What I want doesn't seem to matter, does it?"
"Yes it does." Kyle reached out and ran his fingers down Jared's arm, needing to reassure him. God, how wrong he'd been. He should have stayed, should have talked to Jared, should have explained. "It means everything."
Jared's jaw clenched, and something flickered deep in the depths of his beautifully expressive eyes. "Fine, then you're coming home with me."
Home? Jared's home? The sudden sick feeling that swept through Kyle's stomach had nothing to do with the drugs that had been pumped through his body but the memories of a hatred he hadn't deserved, of a rejection that had hurt beyond anything he'd ever felt before or since.
He stared at Jared, not sure if Jared understood what he was asking. But of course he didn't because Kyle hadn't said a damn word about what had made him walk out of that hotel room. A tight band squeezed
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