lullabye
Then in your heart
There will always be a part of me
Someday we'll all be gone
But lullabyes go on and on...
They never die
That's how you
And I
Will be”
“He’s screaming at her to shut up, but she doesn’t. She keeps singing to me. He drags her to the floor and presses the gun to her head. “ NO! ” I scream, but he shoots her anyway.” I can hardly breathe.
Ian is rocking me, “It’s okay Ally, it’s going to be okay.” He holds me and rocks me.
I tell myself it’s almost over, so I continue, “I throw myself onto my mom’s back and he drags me off. I can’t stop screaming, and then I hear the gun go off, and wonder who else they shot. I try to listen, but I don’t hear anything. I can’t move. The smell…the awful smell is blood. I try to lift my head, but it feels so heavy. I want to get away, so I start to crawl—crawl to my room. I am almost there and then I feel hands on me. I start screaming again, but everything goes black.” I am shaking harder than I ever have before. I lean into Ian, trying to get closer—trying to forget. I haven’t cried since that night, and now I’m afraid I might never stop.
Chapter 32
~Ian
“It’s going to be okay Ally, it’s going to be okay.” I keep rocking her, holding her, kissing her head. She is shaking so much—sobbing and gasping—and my heart is breaking for her. “Oh God Ian, they killed them! They killed my mom and dad!” She wails.
“I know.” I whisper. She looks up at me, her face streaked with tears. “I was supposed to die too Ian.” She whispers and inhales a scattered breath.
I lift her chin with my hand. “Ally, you weren’t supposed to die, that’s why you are still here. You’re supposed to live , don’t you see that?” She shakes her head. “I’m not living Ian. I’m just barely existing.” “I know it feels like that Ally, but you are so strong.”
“No Ian, I’m not… Not at all .”
“Of course you are Ally! Strength is in looking back and seeing what you have been through and knowing you were strong enough to make it through. Sometimes it’s not what you have lost, but what you still have - that is what makes life worth living.” I smooth her hair back and kiss her head again.
We sit there for almost an hour in silence. I hold her and rock her until she stops crying. The fire is dying down and I’m really starting to feel the long day set in.
The sun has set and there is a full moon shining outside the window that makes the trees look like they are shimmering. “Ally? Are you awake?” I whisper in her ear. I hear her sigh. Readjusting her, I look into her eyes. Her lashes are still wet from the tears and her cheeks are flushed. She has been through so much tonight, but I can’t help but notice how beautiful she is. Smiling, I nod at her, and she nods back—our unspoken language.
“Come on, why don’t you go take a hot shower, you’ll feel much better.” I say as I help her to her feet. When she stands up, I can’t help but pull her back into my arms, holding her and cherishing this moment. With one more kiss on the head, I start to lead her to her bedroom.
As she’s heading into the bathroom, I let her know that I’m going to run home for just a moment, but that I’ll be back. I grab my coat and keys and walk quickly toward my house. I want to be back before she gets done.
***
When I walk back through Ally’s kitchen, I can still hear the shower running. I’m a little nervous about how she will react to my suggestion, but it is something I really think we need to try.
I wait until I hear her open the bathroom door and then I walk to the bedroom. Standing outside the door I ask, “Are you dressed?” “Yes, come in.” She calls back. When I walk around the corner she turns and smiles. “You changed?” I smile, “I didn’t want to sleep in my jeans.” I say,
Then in your heart
There will always be a part of me
Someday we'll all be gone
But lullabyes go on and on...
They never die
That's how you
And I
Will be”
“He’s screaming at her to shut up, but she doesn’t. She keeps singing to me. He drags her to the floor and presses the gun to her head. “ NO! ” I scream, but he shoots her anyway.” I can hardly breathe.
Ian is rocking me, “It’s okay Ally, it’s going to be okay.” He holds me and rocks me.
I tell myself it’s almost over, so I continue, “I throw myself onto my mom’s back and he drags me off. I can’t stop screaming, and then I hear the gun go off, and wonder who else they shot. I try to listen, but I don’t hear anything. I can’t move. The smell…the awful smell is blood. I try to lift my head, but it feels so heavy. I want to get away, so I start to crawl—crawl to my room. I am almost there and then I feel hands on me. I start screaming again, but everything goes black.” I am shaking harder than I ever have before. I lean into Ian, trying to get closer—trying to forget. I haven’t cried since that night, and now I’m afraid I might never stop.
Chapter 32
~Ian
“It’s going to be okay Ally, it’s going to be okay.” I keep rocking her, holding her, kissing her head. She is shaking so much—sobbing and gasping—and my heart is breaking for her. “Oh God Ian, they killed them! They killed my mom and dad!” She wails.
“I know.” I whisper. She looks up at me, her face streaked with tears. “I was supposed to die too Ian.” She whispers and inhales a scattered breath.
I lift her chin with my hand. “Ally, you weren’t supposed to die, that’s why you are still here. You’re supposed to live , don’t you see that?” She shakes her head. “I’m not living Ian. I’m just barely existing.” “I know it feels like that Ally, but you are so strong.”
“No Ian, I’m not… Not at all .”
“Of course you are Ally! Strength is in looking back and seeing what you have been through and knowing you were strong enough to make it through. Sometimes it’s not what you have lost, but what you still have - that is what makes life worth living.” I smooth her hair back and kiss her head again.
We sit there for almost an hour in silence. I hold her and rock her until she stops crying. The fire is dying down and I’m really starting to feel the long day set in.
The sun has set and there is a full moon shining outside the window that makes the trees look like they are shimmering. “Ally? Are you awake?” I whisper in her ear. I hear her sigh. Readjusting her, I look into her eyes. Her lashes are still wet from the tears and her cheeks are flushed. She has been through so much tonight, but I can’t help but notice how beautiful she is. Smiling, I nod at her, and she nods back—our unspoken language.
“Come on, why don’t you go take a hot shower, you’ll feel much better.” I say as I help her to her feet. When she stands up, I can’t help but pull her back into my arms, holding her and cherishing this moment. With one more kiss on the head, I start to lead her to her bedroom.
As she’s heading into the bathroom, I let her know that I’m going to run home for just a moment, but that I’ll be back. I grab my coat and keys and walk quickly toward my house. I want to be back before she gets done.
***
When I walk back through Ally’s kitchen, I can still hear the shower running. I’m a little nervous about how she will react to my suggestion, but it is something I really think we need to try.
I wait until I hear her open the bathroom door and then I walk to the bedroom. Standing outside the door I ask, “Are you dressed?” “Yes, come in.” She calls back. When I walk around the corner she turns and smiles. “You changed?” I smile, “I didn’t want to sleep in my jeans.” I say,
Similar Books
