it. He still feels guilty for all that happened back when mom died. But, what if my dad was right after all. What if the best thing for me is to eventually marry a safe, boring guy?” I looked down and picked at the damp label on my beer bottle, teasing off shreds and flicking them into the fire.
“What are you talking about Niki? You don’t want a dull life with a lame ass husband.”
I slouched back in my chair exasperated. “No. On the one hand, I feel liberated finally doing what I want, and on the other hand, I feel guilty and nervous going against dad, who is the voice of reason. What am I gonna do Kat? What am I supposed to do?”
Jesse was part of the mix, hell he was the catalyst for all of my inner turmoil, but I stopped short of revealing that to Kat. I could feel the tension rising from the depths of my stomach. Just talking about it, giving a voice to my feelings made them seem larger than life. It was nerve wracking and I knew that my excitement about seeing Jesse added acid to the toxic stew already brewing inside.
Kat stopped strumming the strings on the guitar and reached over to put her arm around me. “Hey, hey now, it’s all gonna be alright. Don’t worry so much about your dad, just sit down and have a heart to heart with him, tell him how you feel and I’m sure he’ll understand. Taking risks is part of life. Part of growing up. Maybe you will fail, but you can’t let your fear stop you from trying. What would your mom say if she were here now giving you advice?”
“Probably what you just said.” I blew out a long breath and stared into the fire that Jenna’s boyfriend had made. The wind blew and the hairs on my arms prickled and stood up.
“Hello ladies.” The low vibrato of a familiar male voice caressed my ears. My pulse quickened and I turned around.
Kat jumped up out of her chair and practically catapulted herself onto Jesse. She squeaked, “Hi Jess,” and gave him a hug, holding her guitar by the neck. Jesse swung a bottle of beer in one hand, looking delicious in the dark, with the golden glow of the bonfire reflecting on his face. Oh, that uncontrollable hair of his. It hung just right; just enough in his eyes to drive me crazy and just enough to get him to run his hand through it. I loved that push. It was a seductive movement that showed the underside of his upper arm, the tender side. Like it said, “I’m vulnerable now”.
I prepared myself to stand and give the “hello hug.” Did he know how difficult it would be with wobbly legs? How much control was needed to keep it at a simple “hello hug” and not jump into his arms? This was exactly what stirred my inner fears, the powerful control he had over me. I stood up and greeted him, forcing myself to keep a lot of air between us as I hugged, although secretly, I wanted to run my tongue up his bicep, and drag it across that sexy hot tattoo.
“Are you alone?” Kat asked. “Here, come sit by me, Jesse.”
I feigned acting all casual, but my heart twitched with a pang. I wanted him next to me.
“Kat is gonna play her guitar for us. She has a super voice,” I said.
“Aww,” Kat replied. “Niki is my biggest fan. Actually, I think you’re my only fan, Niki” She looked at me laughing.
“That’s not true. I’ve seen you play gigs and the room is packed,” I continued. “She’s really good, like good enough for American Idol or something. You should audition, Kat. Next time they are in Hollywood. I’m serious.”
Jesse stood behind us, one hand shoved in the pocket of his board shorts and the other holding his beer, watching me. He hadn’t taken Kat’s invitation to sit next to her. I felt the heat of a blush rise to my cheeks. This was awkward. He appeared restless, then motioned to where Chase stood, talking with a circle of friends.
“Chase is over there. I’m gonna go say hi to those guys for a minute.” He smiled a beautiful white smile at me, took a sip of his beer and pierced me
“What are you talking about Niki? You don’t want a dull life with a lame ass husband.”
I slouched back in my chair exasperated. “No. On the one hand, I feel liberated finally doing what I want, and on the other hand, I feel guilty and nervous going against dad, who is the voice of reason. What am I gonna do Kat? What am I supposed to do?”
Jesse was part of the mix, hell he was the catalyst for all of my inner turmoil, but I stopped short of revealing that to Kat. I could feel the tension rising from the depths of my stomach. Just talking about it, giving a voice to my feelings made them seem larger than life. It was nerve wracking and I knew that my excitement about seeing Jesse added acid to the toxic stew already brewing inside.
Kat stopped strumming the strings on the guitar and reached over to put her arm around me. “Hey, hey now, it’s all gonna be alright. Don’t worry so much about your dad, just sit down and have a heart to heart with him, tell him how you feel and I’m sure he’ll understand. Taking risks is part of life. Part of growing up. Maybe you will fail, but you can’t let your fear stop you from trying. What would your mom say if she were here now giving you advice?”
“Probably what you just said.” I blew out a long breath and stared into the fire that Jenna’s boyfriend had made. The wind blew and the hairs on my arms prickled and stood up.
“Hello ladies.” The low vibrato of a familiar male voice caressed my ears. My pulse quickened and I turned around.
Kat jumped up out of her chair and practically catapulted herself onto Jesse. She squeaked, “Hi Jess,” and gave him a hug, holding her guitar by the neck. Jesse swung a bottle of beer in one hand, looking delicious in the dark, with the golden glow of the bonfire reflecting on his face. Oh, that uncontrollable hair of his. It hung just right; just enough in his eyes to drive me crazy and just enough to get him to run his hand through it. I loved that push. It was a seductive movement that showed the underside of his upper arm, the tender side. Like it said, “I’m vulnerable now”.
I prepared myself to stand and give the “hello hug.” Did he know how difficult it would be with wobbly legs? How much control was needed to keep it at a simple “hello hug” and not jump into his arms? This was exactly what stirred my inner fears, the powerful control he had over me. I stood up and greeted him, forcing myself to keep a lot of air between us as I hugged, although secretly, I wanted to run my tongue up his bicep, and drag it across that sexy hot tattoo.
“Are you alone?” Kat asked. “Here, come sit by me, Jesse.”
I feigned acting all casual, but my heart twitched with a pang. I wanted him next to me.
“Kat is gonna play her guitar for us. She has a super voice,” I said.
“Aww,” Kat replied. “Niki is my biggest fan. Actually, I think you’re my only fan, Niki” She looked at me laughing.
“That’s not true. I’ve seen you play gigs and the room is packed,” I continued. “She’s really good, like good enough for American Idol or something. You should audition, Kat. Next time they are in Hollywood. I’m serious.”
Jesse stood behind us, one hand shoved in the pocket of his board shorts and the other holding his beer, watching me. He hadn’t taken Kat’s invitation to sit next to her. I felt the heat of a blush rise to my cheeks. This was awkward. He appeared restless, then motioned to where Chase stood, talking with a circle of friends.
“Chase is over there. I’m gonna go say hi to those guys for a minute.” He smiled a beautiful white smile at me, took a sip of his beer and pierced me
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