Breathe by Donna Alward Page B

feeling in her stomach. “Won’t you tell me why, Matteo?”
    â€œIt’s a surprise. A secret. Please, Mama.”
    She couldn’t say no to a face like that. “Oh, all right,” she conceded, tipping his nose with a finger.
    â€œI have to go. Put on the dress and come downstairs, okay?”
    He ran back out of the room and she considered the dress.
    What would it hurt? There had been harsh words between her and Jace this afternoon. Truthful words, but harsh nonetheless. She didn’t want to fight with him. She’d never wanted to argue, not with Jace. With him, she’d always wanted…
    She sighed, laying the dress across the bed. Who was she kidding? She’d always just wanted him . She’d adored him and for a short time he’d let her. He’d put down the wall between them and the summer had been magical. No pretense.
    But then the world had changed and she’d become Anna Morelli again and he’d reverted to being the poor boy from down the hill. She had never cared about his status. He’d just been too stubborn to see it.
    Once upon a time he’d looked at her, not with the derision of this afternoon, but with eyes bright with hunger at her mere appearance. For a brief time she’d felt cherished and loved. Desirable. When he came into the room he seemed to suck all the oxygen out, leaving her breathless and dazzled. When was the last time she’d truly felt that way? She trailed her fingers over the soft linen. Could she get him to look at her that way again?
    Did she want him to? She’d vowed never to love again. But this wasn’t love. This was…well, she didn’t know what it was. Perhaps a way to find an end to something that had never really been finished.
    Aurelia sat on the floor, attempting to stack blocks that kept toppling over. Anna changed, putting on the simple dress and then running her hands over the skirt. The fabric was cool and the pattern feminine. The tiny cap sleeves started off the shoulder. She looked in the mirror, grabbing at her hair and experimenting.
    Her reflection sobered as it stared back at her. Her fingers held up the mass of hair, and she remembered how Jace had liked her hair up—and then enjoyed removing her pins one by one. The memory sent a skittering of pleasure over her skin.
    She’d felt beautiful then, and suddenly she wanted to again. Perhaps this was a way of smoothing things over. And this time the children would be there to run interference. But she left the pins out of her hair. One didn’t dare tempt fate too much.
    With Aurelia on her arm, she went downstairs, her slippers nearly silent on the hardwood steps. The front door was open, and as she went to shut it Matteo came steaming around the corner of the house, puffing and clearly on a mission.
    â€œSlow down!” She held the door open for him as he came up the steps.
    â€œYou’re supposed to come now,” he said, holding out his hand.
    â€œTay-o!”
    Anna looked at Aurelia, wondering what on earth…only to see the baby with her arms stretched out towards her brother. “Matteo?”
    Aurelia pushed harder against Anna’s arms as they went down the verandah stairs. At the bottom, Matteo held out his hands to his sister. Anna put Aurelia in his pudgy arms and stood back for a moment. So much like herself and Alex. She’d worshipped her brother and he’d been so good to her. Perhaps she was doing one thing right as a parent—it was clear they loved each other. “Why don’t you hold her hands,” she suggested to Matteo. He put Aurelia on the ground, took her hands in his, and helped her toddle off towards the river.
    â€œWhere are you going?”
    â€œYou need to come,” was all Matteo would answer. She followed just behind them, enjoying the soft scent of the early evening. The sun was a warm ball in the sky, with the earlier hard edge of summer heat now