cool. It was what they both wanted, well, in hindsight, maybe not.
Not true, it was Tonya who trained him that way. “You’re too touchy feely,” she’d say, and then she cheated on him because he was distant, or so she said after she was busted. Looking back, he was starting to see them for the lies they were. She and Shane had been carrying on forever.
Did it make him a bad person to know that while she was cheating with his best friend, his best friend was also banging every music bunny who looked at him twice? Nope, it didn’t, and he was through letting women like Wendy and Tonya or assholes like Shane and Richard determine his self-worth. As Tori said, that value was for him to set, not them.
Tori though, she was different, how she valued him mattered. More than he’d like to admit, and right here, right now, she was missing his worth, or maybe she just…no, that’s not it. The look in her eyes was unmistakable, so why was she tossing him aside?
“You have no idea.” He heard her, though it was barely above a whisper. When she brought a hand back to his cheek, he closed his eyes, turned slightly to kiss her palm, then burrowed in to the comfort of her touch. Her next words were clearer, louder; he hoped it was because touching him bolstered her strength.
“No one has ever sung to me before. It held so much meaning and sadness, a moment that will never leave me. In the part of the song about loving in vain, hiding away, painting a lonely picture? That really got to me, because that’s exactly what has happened. It’s what I did, I mean, what I do. Even within a relationship, I pick emotionally unavailable men. I didn’t even realize it until those words left your mouth.”
Leaning his head forward to rest his forehead on hers, he let the contact wash over him. Something significant was happening between them, and he felt like a hot air balloon that just had the sandbags tossed overboard. He needed the contact to stay tethered to Earth, to her.
“Dang it,” she said, more with defeat than fire, “why couldn’t I have met you three years ago? I know we’ve just met, but I do feel it, Michael, but it can never be anything more than a friendship. Trust me. If there was a way in Hell for it to be different, for us to have a chance to see where this could go, I would jump at it.” His heart took a nosedive and he wanted to jump up and run away, but she wasn’t done speaking.
“You’re a good man, Michael, and any woman would be fucking lucky to have you, even for a night, but that woman can’t be me. I hope you understand it has nothing to do with you personally, or Hell, even me for that matter. It’s all about history, history that was in the making years ago.”
Enough, Michael was done with this whole it’s me not you bullshit. Hell, it wasn’t even that, it was something else entirely. An it’s not you approach he could fight. With this, he was in uncharted territory and he fucking hated it.
“What the fuck does that even mean, sweetheart? History? How the fuck do I fight that?” God, he knew he sounded pathetic but he was a little desperate as he felt her slipping away…forever.
“You don’t. You let me walk out that door, and you go on and live the best life you can. And if, when, we meet in the future, or you hear my name, remember the look in my eyes when you sang to me, and the honesty we shared. That’s real, Michael, and please let it mean more to you than anything else that may be assigned to me in the future.”
He did jump up then, severed all contact with his anchor, wanting to drift up and away, not stay down here where his fantasy girl was rejecting him over something that made zero fucking sense. “What is that cryptic bullshit? Fuck, woman, I’m a big boy. I can take rejection, but don’t blow smoke up my ass and tell me it’s sunshine. I may be younger but I’ve got more experience than you can imagine sending people on their way, so speak plain and simple.
Not true, it was Tonya who trained him that way. “You’re too touchy feely,” she’d say, and then she cheated on him because he was distant, or so she said after she was busted. Looking back, he was starting to see them for the lies they were. She and Shane had been carrying on forever.
Did it make him a bad person to know that while she was cheating with his best friend, his best friend was also banging every music bunny who looked at him twice? Nope, it didn’t, and he was through letting women like Wendy and Tonya or assholes like Shane and Richard determine his self-worth. As Tori said, that value was for him to set, not them.
Tori though, she was different, how she valued him mattered. More than he’d like to admit, and right here, right now, she was missing his worth, or maybe she just…no, that’s not it. The look in her eyes was unmistakable, so why was she tossing him aside?
“You have no idea.” He heard her, though it was barely above a whisper. When she brought a hand back to his cheek, he closed his eyes, turned slightly to kiss her palm, then burrowed in to the comfort of her touch. Her next words were clearer, louder; he hoped it was because touching him bolstered her strength.
“No one has ever sung to me before. It held so much meaning and sadness, a moment that will never leave me. In the part of the song about loving in vain, hiding away, painting a lonely picture? That really got to me, because that’s exactly what has happened. It’s what I did, I mean, what I do. Even within a relationship, I pick emotionally unavailable men. I didn’t even realize it until those words left your mouth.”
Leaning his head forward to rest his forehead on hers, he let the contact wash over him. Something significant was happening between them, and he felt like a hot air balloon that just had the sandbags tossed overboard. He needed the contact to stay tethered to Earth, to her.
“Dang it,” she said, more with defeat than fire, “why couldn’t I have met you three years ago? I know we’ve just met, but I do feel it, Michael, but it can never be anything more than a friendship. Trust me. If there was a way in Hell for it to be different, for us to have a chance to see where this could go, I would jump at it.” His heart took a nosedive and he wanted to jump up and run away, but she wasn’t done speaking.
“You’re a good man, Michael, and any woman would be fucking lucky to have you, even for a night, but that woman can’t be me. I hope you understand it has nothing to do with you personally, or Hell, even me for that matter. It’s all about history, history that was in the making years ago.”
Enough, Michael was done with this whole it’s me not you bullshit. Hell, it wasn’t even that, it was something else entirely. An it’s not you approach he could fight. With this, he was in uncharted territory and he fucking hated it.
“What the fuck does that even mean, sweetheart? History? How the fuck do I fight that?” God, he knew he sounded pathetic but he was a little desperate as he felt her slipping away…forever.
“You don’t. You let me walk out that door, and you go on and live the best life you can. And if, when, we meet in the future, or you hear my name, remember the look in my eyes when you sang to me, and the honesty we shared. That’s real, Michael, and please let it mean more to you than anything else that may be assigned to me in the future.”
He did jump up then, severed all contact with his anchor, wanting to drift up and away, not stay down here where his fantasy girl was rejecting him over something that made zero fucking sense. “What is that cryptic bullshit? Fuck, woman, I’m a big boy. I can take rejection, but don’t blow smoke up my ass and tell me it’s sunshine. I may be younger but I’ve got more experience than you can imagine sending people on their way, so speak plain and simple.
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