fold me in and it thunders my heart. I'm afraid. Really afraid. The unpredictability of this situation has me borderline hysterical and expecting the worst. I'm scared that if I relax he's going to do something dreadful and cruel.
Why did he bring me here? Even if I screamed no one would hear me. This isn't fair!
Trembling, rigid in his hold, I wait it out, ready to react, to defend, afraid to close my eyes in case I miss something. Every time his hand comes up I'm expecting it to deliver pain, but it smoothes my hair, and it's beginning to hurt resisting the pressure of his arms forcing me to rest against him.
“ Zena, cry. For all our sakes get angry and cry. Let it out. Please?”
“ Why are you doing this to me? I've done nothing to you,” I mumble against his chest, muffled by the leather and his skin.
A heavy sigh washes over me and he pulls away, his onyx eyes fracturing the light into a million specks of tangerine and gold. They're like black opals that segment light into fire hues.
They're beautiful and passionate, and they don't belong on a monster.
“ I'm not a bully. Baby, can't you see it? You never let anything out and it begins to fester inside you. If you just released it and let it out, you wouldn't be the walking wounded. You'd let enough go to begin the heal. You can't hurt me, so punch, bite, kick, claw, scream, go ballistic, fuck me up. Release the damage, unleash it. I am your safe place which is why I won't hit you, and I'll never fucking hit back.”
“ But I love you. I don't want to hurt you. Don't you get that?”
Those incredible eyes swirl with an orange gloss, flaming his irises with sunset magnificence while he stares at me; a faint haze seeping out the edges next to his eyelashes.
“Zena, baby, angel... what you fail to understand is you hurt me anyway, every single time you hurt yourself. I know the pain inside you is eating you alive, and I'll do anything–”
Strong hands clamp my face and apply pressure, his nose inching closer to pour that fiery halo into my own eyes.
“– Anything , to ease your suffering. I'd much rather you attack me than the woman I love.”
La-freaq!
It shakes my core, deepening the fissure, widening the abyss, and shame gases out of the black despair inside me and I dissolve into sobs again.
No one loves me. This isn't real. You're just saying this. I know I'm a fucking freak, I don't need you telling me!
When I try to push away, he holds tighter, lifting me in his arms with the strength of his hug, burying his head in my neck, and tears run into my collarbone. His grip is suffocating, but Jesus! Oh Jesus fucking everything. He's crying! He's fucking crying!
God! I suck. I'm awful. I'm poison.
I should go.
Big arms tighten even more and he shakes against me, crushing me to his chest until the shame overwhelms me and I'm crying too. Again .
Sobbing together, I'm a wreck; living, breathing, carnage. Crying for reasons I don't even know, other than I can't bear the pain of knowing he hurts when I hurt. I love him. I never ever want him to hurt like I do.
He lifts his head to stare into my eyes, tears glossing his cheeks, his irises now completely saturated in gold fire, “I do love you. Never ever doubt it. Not ever.”
The kiss he thrusts on me is hard, relentless, full of need, pain, fear, anger, desire.
Like me.
And I push back with my lips, with all my strength, needing to be closer, to make this better. To make us better.
Choking back the sobs, burying it deep inside me, I mute emotions and throw caution to the wind. Choosing his seductive touch over the fear of pain, I weaken into the desire his nearness and masculinity stoke in me.
His thumb is rigid under my chin, shoving it up, locking my mouth to his, his hoarse voice slipping into my thoughts, Tonight is ours. You are going to be naked inside out before the sun comes up. Tonight you will cry, sob, scream, and sigh, in every pain and pleasure imaginable, and when I'm done
Why did he bring me here? Even if I screamed no one would hear me. This isn't fair!
Trembling, rigid in his hold, I wait it out, ready to react, to defend, afraid to close my eyes in case I miss something. Every time his hand comes up I'm expecting it to deliver pain, but it smoothes my hair, and it's beginning to hurt resisting the pressure of his arms forcing me to rest against him.
“ Zena, cry. For all our sakes get angry and cry. Let it out. Please?”
“ Why are you doing this to me? I've done nothing to you,” I mumble against his chest, muffled by the leather and his skin.
A heavy sigh washes over me and he pulls away, his onyx eyes fracturing the light into a million specks of tangerine and gold. They're like black opals that segment light into fire hues.
They're beautiful and passionate, and they don't belong on a monster.
“ I'm not a bully. Baby, can't you see it? You never let anything out and it begins to fester inside you. If you just released it and let it out, you wouldn't be the walking wounded. You'd let enough go to begin the heal. You can't hurt me, so punch, bite, kick, claw, scream, go ballistic, fuck me up. Release the damage, unleash it. I am your safe place which is why I won't hit you, and I'll never fucking hit back.”
“ But I love you. I don't want to hurt you. Don't you get that?”
Those incredible eyes swirl with an orange gloss, flaming his irises with sunset magnificence while he stares at me; a faint haze seeping out the edges next to his eyelashes.
“Zena, baby, angel... what you fail to understand is you hurt me anyway, every single time you hurt yourself. I know the pain inside you is eating you alive, and I'll do anything–”
Strong hands clamp my face and apply pressure, his nose inching closer to pour that fiery halo into my own eyes.
“– Anything , to ease your suffering. I'd much rather you attack me than the woman I love.”
La-freaq!
It shakes my core, deepening the fissure, widening the abyss, and shame gases out of the black despair inside me and I dissolve into sobs again.
No one loves me. This isn't real. You're just saying this. I know I'm a fucking freak, I don't need you telling me!
When I try to push away, he holds tighter, lifting me in his arms with the strength of his hug, burying his head in my neck, and tears run into my collarbone. His grip is suffocating, but Jesus! Oh Jesus fucking everything. He's crying! He's fucking crying!
God! I suck. I'm awful. I'm poison.
I should go.
Big arms tighten even more and he shakes against me, crushing me to his chest until the shame overwhelms me and I'm crying too. Again .
Sobbing together, I'm a wreck; living, breathing, carnage. Crying for reasons I don't even know, other than I can't bear the pain of knowing he hurts when I hurt. I love him. I never ever want him to hurt like I do.
He lifts his head to stare into my eyes, tears glossing his cheeks, his irises now completely saturated in gold fire, “I do love you. Never ever doubt it. Not ever.”
The kiss he thrusts on me is hard, relentless, full of need, pain, fear, anger, desire.
Like me.
And I push back with my lips, with all my strength, needing to be closer, to make this better. To make us better.
Choking back the sobs, burying it deep inside me, I mute emotions and throw caution to the wind. Choosing his seductive touch over the fear of pain, I weaken into the desire his nearness and masculinity stoke in me.
His thumb is rigid under my chin, shoving it up, locking my mouth to his, his hoarse voice slipping into my thoughts, Tonight is ours. You are going to be naked inside out before the sun comes up. Tonight you will cry, sob, scream, and sigh, in every pain and pleasure imaginable, and when I'm done
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