Connors. They could hurt him bad.
“Okay, I’m working on a couple of things. So what exactly is pissing people off?”
“Jimmy English. You’re on the wrong side of things, Nick.”
I was also helping a murderer get a lighter sentence. It had become my job to be on the wrong side of things. “Look I’m going to tell you a couple of things I shouldn’t. They’re not playing by the book. They’re trying to hang something on Jimmy that he didn’t do.”
“And you know this because?”
“Because this afternoon I talked to someone they want to use as a witness. Someone they want to feed testimony to.”
“I can’t worry about that. If I did everything by the book I wouldn’t be on the phone with you, would I? Sometimes doing the wrong thing is the right thing. You know that Nick.”
“Trying to get people to lie so they can put an old man in prison. That doesn’t feel like the right thing.”
“He’s not an innocent man.”
“I know that. But I think they missed their shot.”
“Maybe, maybe not. All I know is I don’t want to go down to save Jimmy English. And neither do you.” He hung up without saying goodbye.
That complicated things. I’d been enjoying the fact that I had a decent paying job that looked like it might go on for a while. The fact that it could put me in prison didn’t make me happy. I tried calling Owen, but I got the answering service. I glanced at my clock radio and saw that it was twenty after seven. I must have actually fallen asleep without realizing it.
Joseph was going to be there in a few minutes and I needed to put all of this out of my mind. I wasn’t sure I could do that. If he were coming by for a quick fuck I’d be a lot better at putting my thoughts on hold. But he was coming for a date, so I’d have to pay attention and seem not only interested but interesting.
My first impulse was to say, fuck it. Let the task force do whatever they could. But it wasn’t just me they’d be taking down. They’d be taking down Connors, too. And not only had he turned out to be pretty decent to me, he was a good partner and a good friend to Harker. Getting him in trouble had all sorts of wrong written all over it. Maybe Owen would have some suggestions. I was picking up the phone to see if the answering service would page him when there was a knock at the door.
Joseph smiled at me when I answered, and I couldn’t stop myself from smiling back. I was happy to see him. He wore a simple baby blue Oxford shirt, a new pair of jeans, and a windbreaker with a racing stripe down one side. He had a brown paper bag in one hand. I stepped forward, took the bag, and kissed him whether he liked it or not. He jumped a little but then he kissed me back.
“Where should we go for dinner?” I asked. As soon as I asked I felt stupid. He didn’t know the neighborhood. I did. I should have picked out a place.
“There’s a Mexican place on Halsted I want to try. La Mañana… I can’t say it, I’ll just mangle it.”
“La Mañana?” It wasn’t the name but I decided to go with his mispronunciation. “We had Mexican yesterday.”
He shrugged. “I liked it.”
“Okay, La Mañana it is.”
“And we have to hurry, the movie is at nine.”
“What are we seeing?” I asked.
“ Terms of Endearment . It just won all these Oscars. And it’s close.”
“All right.” I kind of liked that he’d made all these decisions. I certainly wasn’t in the mood to be deciding things. Maybe I’d ask him to pick out my dinner for me. Maybe I’d ask him to decide what to do about Connors and the task force, too.
As we walked out of my building, I asked, “How was your counseling session?”
“Tiring.”
“Well, you are struggling for your soul.”
“It would be an easier struggle if I understood what winning meant. What about you? Have you struggled for your soul?”
I almost made a joke about not having a soul, but then I decided to go with a more truthful answer.
C. J. Cherryh
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