on
The Price Is Right.
Harker Park is empty and leafy and deep with shadows—perfect for my seduction.
“Well, m’lady, let’s go on over to the teeter-totter,” I say as I climb off the bike.
“
After
we break out the whiskey,” she counters.
With shocking swiftness she has my backpack unzipped and the bottle uncapped.
“You surprise me, Eckhardt,” she says after her first swig. “Thought you were a total dweeb, but boy was I wrong.”
“Hey, Les is more!”
“Heh-heh. I guess it might be.”
She laughs a little and takes another swig, then offers me the bottle. It tastes like what I imagine kerosene might taste like, and it takes every ounce of self-control to swallow it. Regina is already on her fourth nip when I snatch the bottle and cap it. “Let’s, um, pace ourselves, what do you say?”
The silly grin that creases her face tells me she is already buzzed. “So, you want to get down in my panties, don’t you?”
“What?!” I nearly fall over.
She fires up a cigarette and says, “That’s why you showed up at the Box today.”
“That is absolutely not true,” I protest. “You just seem like—like a nice girl. Someone I’ve always wanted to get to know better.”
She exhales smoke out the corner of her mouth. “Guys only hit on me ’cause they think I’ll put out.”
I look around, all horrified, my mouth ajar, as if looking for those dirty, dirty bastards. “I can’t stand guys like that,” I say. “All they think about is a girl’s body. They don’t care about who she is inside. So uncool.”
I keep noticing she is glancing expectantly at the street.
“Trust me, Regina, sex was
the
furthest thing from my mind.”
“My mom says never trust a guy who says ‘trust me.’ ” She flicks her ashes, then inhales more smoke. “Here’s the thing, Les-is-more, I’m not as easy as everyone says. But I wouldn’t mind making out with you a little. You’re a freak, but kinda sweet.”
My heart speeds up. “Really? You mean it? About the making out?”
I’m finally going to kiss a girl! And hopefully get to touch her bazookas!
“What do you say we move to the bench over by the old cannon?” I ask, in an unfortunately high-pitched voice.
“I need some more J.D. first,” she says.
“More” turns out to be about five big swigs for her, and two timid ones for me.
As we sit, I carefully place my arm across the back of the bench. She turns and looks at me expectantly. But I never asked Uncle Ray what to do once I have a girl “in position,” and I haven’t gotten that far in
The Seductive Man
. Sweat breaks out on my forehead and palms.
“You know, when you really compare them,” I say in a quivering voice, “
The Addams Family
was a much wittier show than
The Munsters
.”
Regina looks at me as if I am singing the Soviet national anthem. “We gonna make out or what?”
“Of course,” I say brightly.
She closes her eyes. My heart pounds in my ears as I stare at her glistening pink lips.
How will I know if I press them too hard? What if I am bad at this? Will she tell everyone?
Once, I overheard Stephanie Sanderson at school tell some girls about how Jared Clark kissed like a lizard. Can I somehow get out of this?
She cracks one eyelid and gives me a “what’s the holdup?” look.
Time to act. A deep breath. Lean forward. I ram my lips into hers.
“Ouch!” She pulls back and rubs her mouth.
“Sorry.”
“God, Eckhardt, haven’t you ever done this before?” “Of course. Yes. Definitely.”
She sighs and closes her eyes again. This time I move in slowly. Wow. Her lips are surprisingly soft and moist, and her face smells of baby powder and hamburgers. I am kissing her and it is good, a turn-on. Her mouth, it opens a little bit. And my heart flutters. Now she has placed her tongue on top of mine, which lies beneath hers like a dead eel. Now what? In an attempt to cover all bases, I race my tongue around her mouth like an out-of-control power
The Price Is Right.
Harker Park is empty and leafy and deep with shadows—perfect for my seduction.
“Well, m’lady, let’s go on over to the teeter-totter,” I say as I climb off the bike.
“
After
we break out the whiskey,” she counters.
With shocking swiftness she has my backpack unzipped and the bottle uncapped.
“You surprise me, Eckhardt,” she says after her first swig. “Thought you were a total dweeb, but boy was I wrong.”
“Hey, Les is more!”
“Heh-heh. I guess it might be.”
She laughs a little and takes another swig, then offers me the bottle. It tastes like what I imagine kerosene might taste like, and it takes every ounce of self-control to swallow it. Regina is already on her fourth nip when I snatch the bottle and cap it. “Let’s, um, pace ourselves, what do you say?”
The silly grin that creases her face tells me she is already buzzed. “So, you want to get down in my panties, don’t you?”
“What?!” I nearly fall over.
She fires up a cigarette and says, “That’s why you showed up at the Box today.”
“That is absolutely not true,” I protest. “You just seem like—like a nice girl. Someone I’ve always wanted to get to know better.”
She exhales smoke out the corner of her mouth. “Guys only hit on me ’cause they think I’ll put out.”
I look around, all horrified, my mouth ajar, as if looking for those dirty, dirty bastards. “I can’t stand guys like that,” I say. “All they think about is a girl’s body. They don’t care about who she is inside. So uncool.”
I keep noticing she is glancing expectantly at the street.
“Trust me, Regina, sex was
the
furthest thing from my mind.”
“My mom says never trust a guy who says ‘trust me.’ ” She flicks her ashes, then inhales more smoke. “Here’s the thing, Les-is-more, I’m not as easy as everyone says. But I wouldn’t mind making out with you a little. You’re a freak, but kinda sweet.”
My heart speeds up. “Really? You mean it? About the making out?”
I’m finally going to kiss a girl! And hopefully get to touch her bazookas!
“What do you say we move to the bench over by the old cannon?” I ask, in an unfortunately high-pitched voice.
“I need some more J.D. first,” she says.
“More” turns out to be about five big swigs for her, and two timid ones for me.
As we sit, I carefully place my arm across the back of the bench. She turns and looks at me expectantly. But I never asked Uncle Ray what to do once I have a girl “in position,” and I haven’t gotten that far in
The Seductive Man
. Sweat breaks out on my forehead and palms.
“You know, when you really compare them,” I say in a quivering voice, “
The Addams Family
was a much wittier show than
The Munsters
.”
Regina looks at me as if I am singing the Soviet national anthem. “We gonna make out or what?”
“Of course,” I say brightly.
She closes her eyes. My heart pounds in my ears as I stare at her glistening pink lips.
How will I know if I press them too hard? What if I am bad at this? Will she tell everyone?
Once, I overheard Stephanie Sanderson at school tell some girls about how Jared Clark kissed like a lizard. Can I somehow get out of this?
She cracks one eyelid and gives me a “what’s the holdup?” look.
Time to act. A deep breath. Lean forward. I ram my lips into hers.
“Ouch!” She pulls back and rubs her mouth.
“Sorry.”
“God, Eckhardt, haven’t you ever done this before?” “Of course. Yes. Definitely.”
She sighs and closes her eyes again. This time I move in slowly. Wow. Her lips are surprisingly soft and moist, and her face smells of baby powder and hamburgers. I am kissing her and it is good, a turn-on. Her mouth, it opens a little bit. And my heart flutters. Now she has placed her tongue on top of mine, which lies beneath hers like a dead eel. Now what? In an attempt to cover all bases, I race my tongue around her mouth like an out-of-control power
Similar Books
