retorts rose to her lips but she swallowed them. This was tough enough, fraught enough, without her making it worse. And Beau had been nothing but professional for the entire two hours they’d been going at it. If it hadn’t been for that single, stretched moment when they’d forgotten to speak and gotten lost in each other’s eyes, she’d be tempted to believe the magnetic pull she felt toward him was completely one-sided.
But he’d confessed he wanted her yesterday, and his eyes told her she wasn’t alone in wanting things she couldn’t – shouldn’t – have.
Getting onto her knees, she rolled onto her back and looked up at him. “Is this what you wanted?”
There was a short, loaded pause before he responded.
“That’s right. If ever you wind up like this, on the ground, on your back, you’re not helpless. You’ve still got your arms and your legs. You’ve got your teeth and nails. You’re not done, not by a long shot.”
She considered what he was saying, remembering the sheer power and weight of Luther when he’d cornered her. If she’d been on the ground and he on top of her, she wouldn’t have stood a chance.
“You can’t tell me that I could fight off someone like you. You’re a million times stronger and heavier than me.”
“Prove it to me.”
He moved toward her, and she realized he was going to try to overpower her. She frowned, even as she fisted her hands and instinctively lifted her feet from the floor, ready to lash out.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Wrong. You want to hurt me. You want to stop me. That should be the only thing you’re thinking about.”
He came down on one knee beside her, hands reaching for her shoulders to pin her down. She bucked instinctively, punching out at him with her fists, pulling her knees up when he tried to get a leg over her body and bring his weight down over her. Despite her struggles, it was mere moments before he had her wrists pinned by her shoulders, her legs weighted down by his own.
She stared up at him, her heart racing, torn between an instinctive fear at being overpowered and the heated knowledge that the length of him was pressed to the length of her. If she lifted her head – or if he lowered his – they’d be kissing.
“You’re holding back again,” he said, his breath brushing her face.
Lily stared at the very beginning of what would become golden stubble on his jaw.
“I can’t punch you or kick you. I’ll hurt you.”
Up close, his eyes were incredibly blue, as bright and pure as the tropical ocean. His gaze dropped to her mouth and she held her breath, her whole body going very still.
Kiss me , she willed him. Because then it would be his decision, and not hers. His mistake, nothing to do with her. She’d just be going along for the ride.
He rolled away from her. “You need to know you can do this, Lily. I want the knowledge to be there in the back of your mind, in there with sneezing and breathing in your lizard brain. I want you to not feel helpless.”
His voice vibrated with sincerity and determination, and she understood this really mattered to him. He wasn’t just fooling around for a couple of hours; he was sincerely concerned for her safety and wellbeing.
Even though they’d done nothing but take potshots at each other for the past five years.
It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him why he was doing this, but she caught herself just in time. She already knew. He was doing this for the same reason she’d caught at his elbow last night, allowing Darren to escape – she hadn’t wanted Beau to get hurt.
“Okay,” she said quietly. “I’ll try again. But I apologize in advance if I hurt you.”
“Apology accepted in advance.”
Bracing herself, she prepared for another round.
Chapter Eight
‡
B eau came at her again then, and this time she gave it her all. Where she’d pulled blows and hesitated before, she lashed out, legs milling crazily, hands punching, elbows flying.
But he’d confessed he wanted her yesterday, and his eyes told her she wasn’t alone in wanting things she couldn’t – shouldn’t – have.
Getting onto her knees, she rolled onto her back and looked up at him. “Is this what you wanted?”
There was a short, loaded pause before he responded.
“That’s right. If ever you wind up like this, on the ground, on your back, you’re not helpless. You’ve still got your arms and your legs. You’ve got your teeth and nails. You’re not done, not by a long shot.”
She considered what he was saying, remembering the sheer power and weight of Luther when he’d cornered her. If she’d been on the ground and he on top of her, she wouldn’t have stood a chance.
“You can’t tell me that I could fight off someone like you. You’re a million times stronger and heavier than me.”
“Prove it to me.”
He moved toward her, and she realized he was going to try to overpower her. She frowned, even as she fisted her hands and instinctively lifted her feet from the floor, ready to lash out.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Wrong. You want to hurt me. You want to stop me. That should be the only thing you’re thinking about.”
He came down on one knee beside her, hands reaching for her shoulders to pin her down. She bucked instinctively, punching out at him with her fists, pulling her knees up when he tried to get a leg over her body and bring his weight down over her. Despite her struggles, it was mere moments before he had her wrists pinned by her shoulders, her legs weighted down by his own.
She stared up at him, her heart racing, torn between an instinctive fear at being overpowered and the heated knowledge that the length of him was pressed to the length of her. If she lifted her head – or if he lowered his – they’d be kissing.
“You’re holding back again,” he said, his breath brushing her face.
Lily stared at the very beginning of what would become golden stubble on his jaw.
“I can’t punch you or kick you. I’ll hurt you.”
Up close, his eyes were incredibly blue, as bright and pure as the tropical ocean. His gaze dropped to her mouth and she held her breath, her whole body going very still.
Kiss me , she willed him. Because then it would be his decision, and not hers. His mistake, nothing to do with her. She’d just be going along for the ride.
He rolled away from her. “You need to know you can do this, Lily. I want the knowledge to be there in the back of your mind, in there with sneezing and breathing in your lizard brain. I want you to not feel helpless.”
His voice vibrated with sincerity and determination, and she understood this really mattered to him. He wasn’t just fooling around for a couple of hours; he was sincerely concerned for her safety and wellbeing.
Even though they’d done nothing but take potshots at each other for the past five years.
It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him why he was doing this, but she caught herself just in time. She already knew. He was doing this for the same reason she’d caught at his elbow last night, allowing Darren to escape – she hadn’t wanted Beau to get hurt.
“Okay,” she said quietly. “I’ll try again. But I apologize in advance if I hurt you.”
“Apology accepted in advance.”
Bracing herself, she prepared for another round.
Chapter Eight
‡
B eau came at her again then, and this time she gave it her all. Where she’d pulled blows and hesitated before, she lashed out, legs milling crazily, hands punching, elbows flying.
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