vibration. I wait, still, afraid to move. The door confining me opens, with dimmed light flooding in. I squint hard and move to shield my eyes while they adjust. Carmine helps me as I walk blindly from my hiding place.
His behavior is different, changed. I can’t put my finger on it, but he’s somehow… colder.
“You should get dressed,” he breaks the silence.
What? I’m standing in front of him, naked, with my clothes bundled into a pile in my arms. He turns his back to me, allowing me privacy.
“I-I-” I stutter. How did this happen? I’m spinning. “What happened?”
I watch his shoulders rise and fall as he breathes in and I want nothing more than to reach out to him and hold his body next to me, to let our flesh speak to each other in a way our words can’t to help me understand.
“Theresa, this can’t happen. This… you wouldn’t understand. I can’t risk it.” The finality of his words doesn’t match the quaking voice behind them. He’s conflicted, wrestling with himself.
I reach out, placing my hand on his back to reassure him that nothing’s changed. I see his head bow, but not less than a moment later his shakes off my touch, causing me to rebound, dropping the pile of clothes at my feet.
The sound causes him to turn, my naked body fully on display in front of him. His eyes travel up before resting on mine. There are so many emotions in his eyes, but, I can’t get a read on them. They close tight before I can try.
“You have to go, Theresa. You have to leave,” he speaks, his eyes still heavily closed.
The air in the room has changed. It’s bitter frost nipping at my skin. “But…” I try once again to bring him back to me.
He shakes his head, determined. “What don’t you understand? This is over. I’m no good for you.”
I swallow hard. “You’re no good for me? What are you talking about, Carmine. Ten minutes ago you were good enough for me. Don’t use such a lame cop-out.”
I see his lips tighten, “Don’t make me do this, Theresa. Please, just leave.”
I feel anger building. Rejection starting to fester like water on the brink of boiling. “Do what exactly, Carmine? Show your true colors? Prove that I was nothing more than a notch on your little bedpost over there? Once I’d played your little game and given into you, you’re not interested anymore? It’s not worth the chase anymore?”
“Don’t be such a child, Theresa. You’re a little girl. Go run home to your dolls, and forget me.”
I bend down to pick up my clothes, article by article and place them back on my humiliated body. “Oh, I’m gonna forget you alright, you asshole! You cruel son of a bitch to lead me on, and-” sobs threaten to break through my words, leaking into them and revealing the hurt, “Telling me the things you told me. You said you loved me.” I snap up, fully dressed now, and look him dead set in the eyes before storming off. “That’s the cruelest thing to do to somebody.”
CHAPTER NINE
PRESENT
VINCENZA
I exhale deep and long, groaning at the sight of the rising sun through the windows. I held out hope that I would eventually fall asleep, get some rest, but it never happened. It’s not like I’ve never slept alone before.
Up until the wedding, Dom and I lived separately. I had my little apartment with Stephanie and we never really spent overnights together unless it was on vacation, away from the nosy family members that would no doubt judge our premarital sleepovers. So why was last night so hard? It’s a given that Dom will have business trips where I’ll be left alone, I wonder if I’ll still find it hard to sleep alone then? When I’ll have no choice?
I wanted to climb downstairs so many times last night and invite him back up to our bed, where he belongs, but held strong. I won’t be treated like a child. I won’t have him holding back information from me, whether or not he thinks it’s for a good reason.
I hope he gets a stiff neck
His behavior is different, changed. I can’t put my finger on it, but he’s somehow… colder.
“You should get dressed,” he breaks the silence.
What? I’m standing in front of him, naked, with my clothes bundled into a pile in my arms. He turns his back to me, allowing me privacy.
“I-I-” I stutter. How did this happen? I’m spinning. “What happened?”
I watch his shoulders rise and fall as he breathes in and I want nothing more than to reach out to him and hold his body next to me, to let our flesh speak to each other in a way our words can’t to help me understand.
“Theresa, this can’t happen. This… you wouldn’t understand. I can’t risk it.” The finality of his words doesn’t match the quaking voice behind them. He’s conflicted, wrestling with himself.
I reach out, placing my hand on his back to reassure him that nothing’s changed. I see his head bow, but not less than a moment later his shakes off my touch, causing me to rebound, dropping the pile of clothes at my feet.
The sound causes him to turn, my naked body fully on display in front of him. His eyes travel up before resting on mine. There are so many emotions in his eyes, but, I can’t get a read on them. They close tight before I can try.
“You have to go, Theresa. You have to leave,” he speaks, his eyes still heavily closed.
The air in the room has changed. It’s bitter frost nipping at my skin. “But…” I try once again to bring him back to me.
He shakes his head, determined. “What don’t you understand? This is over. I’m no good for you.”
I swallow hard. “You’re no good for me? What are you talking about, Carmine. Ten minutes ago you were good enough for me. Don’t use such a lame cop-out.”
I see his lips tighten, “Don’t make me do this, Theresa. Please, just leave.”
I feel anger building. Rejection starting to fester like water on the brink of boiling. “Do what exactly, Carmine? Show your true colors? Prove that I was nothing more than a notch on your little bedpost over there? Once I’d played your little game and given into you, you’re not interested anymore? It’s not worth the chase anymore?”
“Don’t be such a child, Theresa. You’re a little girl. Go run home to your dolls, and forget me.”
I bend down to pick up my clothes, article by article and place them back on my humiliated body. “Oh, I’m gonna forget you alright, you asshole! You cruel son of a bitch to lead me on, and-” sobs threaten to break through my words, leaking into them and revealing the hurt, “Telling me the things you told me. You said you loved me.” I snap up, fully dressed now, and look him dead set in the eyes before storming off. “That’s the cruelest thing to do to somebody.”
CHAPTER NINE
PRESENT
VINCENZA
I exhale deep and long, groaning at the sight of the rising sun through the windows. I held out hope that I would eventually fall asleep, get some rest, but it never happened. It’s not like I’ve never slept alone before.
Up until the wedding, Dom and I lived separately. I had my little apartment with Stephanie and we never really spent overnights together unless it was on vacation, away from the nosy family members that would no doubt judge our premarital sleepovers. So why was last night so hard? It’s a given that Dom will have business trips where I’ll be left alone, I wonder if I’ll still find it hard to sleep alone then? When I’ll have no choice?
I wanted to climb downstairs so many times last night and invite him back up to our bed, where he belongs, but held strong. I won’t be treated like a child. I won’t have him holding back information from me, whether or not he thinks it’s for a good reason.
I hope he gets a stiff neck
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