Born in the Shadows (In the Shadows Series Book 1) by Courtney McPhail Page B

didn’t know and he didn’t much care. All he knew was that he hurt and he wanted it to stop and booze did that better than anything else.
    He wished that he had said something different the last time he saw her. There is nothing wrong with the way you look . Those words had been echoing through his brain, as if they were mocking him with what a fucking joke they were. He should have told her she was gorgeous in his eyes and anyone who didn’t see it was a dipshit. He should have waited for her after work and asked her out for those drinks like he wanted.
    Maybe if she had, she wouldn’t have been wherever she was when she had been killed. Maybe she would still be alive.
    These were the thoughts that kept him up at night. And if he was having them now, it meant he wasn’t even close to the level of fucked up he needed to be to make it through the night. He waved to the bartender, indicating that he needed a refill, stat.
    The old man behind the bar shook his head. “Sorry pal, I think you’ve had enough.”
    Fucking figured. In a dive bar like this, the old man had seen more than a few people intent on killing themselves with liquor and knew the signs. Well bully for him wanting to be the hero. He’d just hit up the liquor store on the way home and continue poisoning himself in private.
                  He rose from the stool, swaying slightly before his balance was restored and he left the bar. The fresh night air was like a slap in the face and he felt his head clear slightly, his feet becoming steadier beneath him.
    Which was the exact opposite of what he wanted. Time to hit the liquor store. Like hell he was going to lose the buzz he had worked hard to get.
    He passed couples and groups of people on the sidewalks, smiling and laughing, heading off to enjoy their night. He wanted to tell them that they were idiots for being happy, that at any moment the people they cared about could be taken from them.
    But he kept his mouth shut. He knew he reeked of booze and standing on the sidewalk yelling at strangers was just going to get him a night in the drunk tank. Or tossed in the loony bin for a seventy-two hour vacation.
    He stood impatiently at an intersection, waiting for the light to change, wanting to get away from everyone. He heard loud laughter from the opposite corner and looked over to glare at the group waiting for the light like him. A tall man who looked like a linebacker for a pro football team was flanked by a dark haired Amazon and a redheaded bombshell. Looked like the guy was having the time of his life as the women hung on his every word. The red head laughed and Gabe felt his heart jump as the sound lit off memories in him.
    It wasn’t possible. His mind was playing tricks on him. He stared intently at the redhead, studying her. Copper curls piled up on her head, a few curls dangling down around her shoulders to glint in the light of the street lamp. Long legs led up to a black skirt that hugged her ass and hips, which were swaying seductively as she balanced on her high heeled boots. She wore a black corset that was either silk or satin judging from the way the fabric shimmered in the lamplight.
    Yep, his brain was definitely fucking with him. That woman definitely wasn’t his Cordelia. His Cordelia wore jeans and sneakers and her hair was always pulled back.
    He wondered if this was his future. Would he always think it was Cordelia whenever he caught a glimpse of a woman with even the slightest resemblance?
    The woman’s laughter continued and there was that electric tingle in his veins again. He could swear she sounded just like Cordelia. He watched the group as they crossed the intersection and headed in the direction he had come from.
    He knew he should just shrug it off and head home, skipping the stop at the liquor store. Obviously, his grey matter needed a break from the booze bath if he was seeing Cordelia in strangers. But instead, an instinct he couldn’t name had him turning