Bold Beauty by Dandi Daley Mackall Page A

would think of her as a hunter. She’d be condemned to ride in circles, tugged on by riders who didn’t love her like I did or like Adrianna would.
    Unless . . .
    I stared out at the hedge moving in the wind like a living thing. Why can’t you psych yourself into this, Winnie?
    Maybe I’d pulled Beauty up because Summer and Richard made me nervous. If I could jump when nobody was around . . .
    Why not? There was absolutely no reason Beauty and I couldn’t clear that jump. And if I could get her over the hedge one time, then I could show Adrianna. It wouldn’t be too late!
    I could do it! I had to.

I pulled jeans over my pj’s and boots over my bare feet and slipped outside. Dew drenched the fallen leaves and lurked in the cold, damp air. I moved through the barn as if in a dream, saddling and bridling Bold Beauty while Nickers and Towaco looked on.
    Before I could stop myself, I mounted Beauty and guided her to the jumps. I knew every inch of the pasture. The ground shimmered in painted moonlight. I could do this. Of course I could.
    Beauty and I cantered. An owl hooted. Crickets chirped louder and louder, in waves. We took the low jumps, the middle jumps. She picked up her pace as we galloped for the hedge. Faster and faster. No turning back. “We can do this, Beauty!”
    But it was a lie. I could lie to my family. I could lie to myself. But I couldn’t lie to Bold Beauty. Doubts and fear traveled through my skin to my fingers, through the reins, to the bit, where Beauty swallowed them. She hesitated.
    Throw your heart over!
    But hers wouldn’t go, and neither would mine. Our hearts were wound together liked trapped insects in a spider’s web.
    She stopped short in front of the hedge. I slid off, landing on my feet, and then collapsed to the ground, not sure if I’d fallen or given up.
    â€œWinnie!” Catman came running up. “Man, I told Claire and Bart you’d freak out tonight! They gave me the go-ahead to spy. I knew you’d try something like this no matter how scared you were!”
    I opened my mouth to deny being scared. But the lies had drained out of me, leaving me with nothing. I buried my head in my hands. Tears flowed with noisy sobs that wracked my whole body.
    When I could get my breath again, I gazed up at Catman. “What’s wrong with me? I’m afraid of that stupid hedge!”
    Catman took off his glasses and shoved them into his pocket. “Finally.”
    â€œFinally what?” I yelled.
    â€œFinally you can admit it. That’s cool.”
    The fake confidence I’d tried to hold on to slipped away. Something would have to replace it. But for now, it was enough to break out of the web with the truth. I’d been afraid to jump that hedge.
    Catman took off Beauty’s saddle and bridle. Beauty went back to grazing with Towaco and Nickers, and Catman walked me to the door.
    â€œThanks, Catman.” It didn’t seem like much to say.
    He held up thumb and pinkie in the Hawaiian hang-loose sign and disappeared into the night.

    I crawled into bed and talked to God. Sorry about the stupid lies, God. You don’t deserve that. Please forgive me. I’m done with lies and fake confi- dence. I’m out of ideas on how to save Beauty or get over that hedge by tomorrow. But I know you’re in the boat with me. So thanks.
    I felt a hundred times better as I crawled under the quilt, even though I knew there was still a piece missing, something I wasn’t getting. No way did I want to psyche up a false confidence again. But if I wanted to save Beauty, wouldn’t I need some kind of confidence? I tried to figure it out as sleep pressed against my eyeballs.
    I’d almost drifted into sleep when I remembered the debate . And God, would you cover for me in that debate, too? Amen.

    Saturday morning I woke up from the best night’s sleep I’d had in days. I had no idea