Body Language: 101 by Hanif Raah Page B

often – your family, colleagues, friends, etc. Every person has a telltale signal for happiness, arousal, anger, irritation, telling lies and so on. For example, you will know that:
    -         when your boss starts drumming his fingers on the table, he is about to burst into a stream of abuse;
    -         when your spouse touches her lower lip she is sexually excited;
    -         when your spouse answers you while avoiding to look at you, she is mighty annoyed about what you’re saying or doing; and so on.
Baselining: How Do You Do It
    Over time, it will become easy for you to read the non-verbal signals from the people you know. How do you read other people; people whom you have never met in your life? In math, when you need to add two fractions with different denominators, you first get both fractions to a common denominator. Similarly, before you even attempt reading the person/ persons, you need to baseline them first; get them to a common denominator, a base.
    This would mean that you should be able to take about 3-5 minutes to watch the person/ persons to observe how they behave normally. The factors that will help you “read” the person correctly are, among others:
    - the overall posture – is the person slouching or standing straight with shoulders squared?
    - the sitting style – are the legs crossed or are the feet kept grounded on the floor?
    - the style of crossing – if the legs are crossed, are they crossed to form the figure four (one leg high on the thigh of the other), crossed at the ankle or crossed at the knee?
    - the standing style – is the person standing with feet together or wide apart?
    - the gesticulating style – are hand gestures moving outside the body’s frame or are the gestures contained within a small circle? Are the gestures vivid and animated? Are they refined or blatant?
    - the tone of the voice soft and subdued, or in tune with the general voice of the room?
    - is the person speaking fast or the words come with a measured pace?
    - is the person listening more or speaking more?
    - does the person make full eye contact, or keeps eyes averted or down?
    Also watch how the person manages his vulnerable areas, i.e. the neck area, the belly button area and the groin area. If the hands are hovering around, the person is at the least uncomfortable and at the most fearful, anxious.  If the person keeps these areas exposed and open, the message is that he is self-assured and confident.
    You will know the person is open to the idea/ people/ place if:
    - he allows the vulnerable areas of his body to be exposed and open;
    - he stands with feed wide apart taking more space than needed;
    - he keeps his hands on the hip or at the sides open and loose;
    - he sits crossing his legs to form figure-4.
    You will know he is more likely to be non-responsive, hostile or not interested if:
    - hands are hovering to cover the vulnerable areas;
    - the arms are folded across the chest;
    - legs are tightly crossed like intertwined;
    - stands with legs touching or very close together;
    - one arm catching the other, which is at the side of the body.
    Once you baseline a person, you would be able to read his body language better, because it would be in context. The change in body language would the non-verbal response to your communication. Non-verbal communication would help decipher what the other person actually wants. What are the signals saying?
     
    Notice the changes . 
    - Is the person the same while talking with you then when they were moving alone (unwatched)?
    - Is he smiling less or more? Is the smile genuine or fake?
    - Are the hands fidgety? Did they disappear into the pockets? Do they make choppy gestures?
    - Are they comfortable standing close or do they move away?
    - Do the shoulders come down or square up or are they rigid?
    - Does the voice become louder or softer?
    - Is the tone friendly, cold, threatening, inviting?
    Check how the verbal and non-verbal signals match to