Blissed (Misfit Brides #1) by Jamie Farrell Page A

newspaper and retreated across the creaking floorboards to the kitchen.
    Never a good sign.
    CJ took a step into the room. “Mrs. Elias.”
    “CJ, my dear, do call me Marilyn.”
    With those predatory eyes killing the effect of her blinding white smile, he could think of a few other things to call her.
    Like batshit crazy or scary as hell. Basil had God on his side, and even he was hiding.
    “Nice of you to stop by,” CJ said.
    She rose and offered the basket of cake balls, and CJ instinctively jumped forward and cradled the gift.
    “By the power vested in me as Knot Festival chairwoman and as a direct descendant of the founders of Bliss,” Marilyn said with every ounce of authority necessary to pull off the bizarre statement, “our community formally welcomes you into its loving folds.”
    CJ could see how God would be kinda helpless against this woman. “Ah, thank you,” he said.
    “As you’ll be with us for a while, I wanted to offer my assistance in anything you might need.” The Queen General gestured to the basket. “You’ll find coupons and brochures for all of Bliss’s best restaurants, nightlife, relaxation services, and adventure opportunities tucked in there. I’ve also prepared a job reference and character recommendation form, should you decide to seek employment or alternate living accommodations. Drop my name, and you’ll have no issues with anything your heart might desire. We simply want you to be happy and comfortable as long as you’d like to stay with us here in Bliss.”
    He was in some kind of Stepford Wives: The Bridal Chronicles movie. “Thank you,” he said again, glad he’d stifled his silent snort of disbelief when she’d said adventure .
    If this was how she acted when he was on her good side, he didn’t want to provoke her bad side. And that was more than a little jacked up.
    “I do hope you’ll stop by and see us at Heaven’s Bakery,” the Queen General continued. “My daughter is most eager to offer you her hospitality as well.”
    There went his ball sack shriveling up so high it bumped into his lungs. “Mm,” he murmured.
    The Queen General leaned in. A cold sweat flushed his body.
    “The upstanding population of Bliss is at your beck and call,” she said. “It will be my pleasure to introduce you around town, and I’ve already ordered the country club to begin plans for a welcome reception.”
    CJ swallowed. “That’s not necessary.”
    “My dear CJ, we want to show you the very best Bliss has to offer. It’s the least we can do to make up for any awkwardness you may have suffered upon your return to town.”
    So this was how deer felt when a semi came barreling down the road at them.
    Did she know about Saturday night?
    He sure as hell hoped not.
    She flashed another of those scary-as-hell smiles. “Do enjoy your evening, and call me if I can be of the least bit of assistance. I’ll be in touch.”
    He saw her out the door, then took the cake balls to the kitchen, giving momentary consideration to burning them as a sacrifice to whatever gods had put that woman on the face of the earth.
    Basil was tucked into the square Formica table, his red hair just visible over the top of his newspaper.
    “Problem, Princess?” he said, back in full Holy Pompousness mode.
    When CJ didn’t answer right away, Basil peeked at him over the top of the paper. “Something you need to confess?”
    “Nope.”
    No chance in hell.
    “Make sure it stays that way,” Basil murmured. “Wouldn’t cross that woman without half our fairer siblings and God at my back.”
    “Pansy-ass.”
    “God bless you.”
    CJ stifled an eye roll. Living with Basil made him twitchy, but he couldn’t bring himself to take Fiona up on her offer of their spare bedroom either.
    He already felt like he knew his in-laws better than he’d known their daughter. “I’m going for a run.”
    “Can’t run from your life forever,” Basil said behind his paper.
    “God bless you,” CJ said