frown. This was not going at all the way
she had hoped or wanted. Something was eating away at him and it was bone deep.
The deeper he hurt, the worse his insults were. Her heart swelled with ache for
his pain. He had made up his mind, though, and he was shutting her out. She was
not going to reach him through words. She gathered all of her years of
experience with her mother’s work and decided to back off.
“I’ll leave, Brent,” she said. “But I want you to know that
I am not leaving because you’ve insulted me, or because you’ve yelled at me, or
even because I’ve made you angry.” She paused, waiting for him to turn around
but he did not. “I’m leaving because you deserve to be alone right now with the
way you’re acting. You’re determined to be miserable and that is such a waste.”
She made to leave but could not depart without expressing the last of her
thoughts. “And it’s damned selfish of you!”
At that, he snapped around, his eyes pools of blue flames.
“Selfish?!” he yelled. “I’m selfish because I won’t come out
and play with you?! Because I won’t indulge your little crush
on me?!”
Mackenna stepped back as if she’d been slapped. Her cheeks
flamed with embarrassment and then anger.
“No, you arrogant ass!” she shot back, her eyes and voice
filling with tears. “You’re selfish for what you’re doing to your mother! She
feels like she’s depriving you of life when you’re with her, and when she pushes
you into something that you might enjoy, you make her suffer for it by forcing
yourself to hate it. Either way, you’re miserable and she loses!”
She panted, fighting to dam her tears, not wanting them to
spill in front of him. Her next words came out in a whisper.
“How do you think that makes her feel?” When he didn’t answer, “Forget about your own
guilt. Think of hers.”
She turned and sped down the steps, stomping passed Sass
only to slide to a stop. A ride was exactly what she needed. She grabbed the
first bridle she saw hanging on a wooden post and buckled it onto the roan.
Flinging herself onto Sass’s bare back, one swift kick of her heel and the pair
tore out of the stables, beating down the shadows across the open meadow while
tears streaked down Mackenna’s cheeks.
Brent went to the window and watched her sprint away from
him, from his biting tongue and callous insults. His features were still
twisted in anger, but his innards were cringing at how he sent her away and the
message she shot to his soul before she left. He had not once in the past five
years thought of the guilt his mother must surely feel. After the accident,
Brent had given up any ideas he once owned for his future and devoted his time
and attentions to caring for her.
Alora had never asked it of him, but to him it wasn’t a
question to be answered. She was his mother, whose entire world had just been
shattered. There was no way he could
walk away and continue with his plans. She was constantly pushing him to take
jobs out of state, to date someone seriously, to go to college somewhere, but
he considered it a mother’s natural inclination and had refused.
For years, he worked side-by-side with Ty raising cattle for
slaughter. It was a job that worked him hard enough to forget his own abandoned
ambitions. During the summers Ty would always help his family out on the dude.
Brent had never had any interest in it. He knew it would take him away from his
mother’s home, which was too far away to commute every day. The cattle ranch
was only ten miles from home.
His shoulders sagged with the realization. That’s why his
mother had persuaded him to work the dude this summer. At the time, she made a
case for Bev McCrae, saying she was starving for good hands. Alora had said it
was the height of bad manners for him to refuse Bev’s request for help on the
dude and she would not allow him to shame her that way. The McCraes had been
good, Christian friends to them and he
she had hoped or wanted. Something was eating away at him and it was bone deep.
The deeper he hurt, the worse his insults were. Her heart swelled with ache for
his pain. He had made up his mind, though, and he was shutting her out. She was
not going to reach him through words. She gathered all of her years of
experience with her mother’s work and decided to back off.
“I’ll leave, Brent,” she said. “But I want you to know that
I am not leaving because you’ve insulted me, or because you’ve yelled at me, or
even because I’ve made you angry.” She paused, waiting for him to turn around
but he did not. “I’m leaving because you deserve to be alone right now with the
way you’re acting. You’re determined to be miserable and that is such a waste.”
She made to leave but could not depart without expressing the last of her
thoughts. “And it’s damned selfish of you!”
At that, he snapped around, his eyes pools of blue flames.
“Selfish?!” he yelled. “I’m selfish because I won’t come out
and play with you?! Because I won’t indulge your little crush
on me?!”
Mackenna stepped back as if she’d been slapped. Her cheeks
flamed with embarrassment and then anger.
“No, you arrogant ass!” she shot back, her eyes and voice
filling with tears. “You’re selfish for what you’re doing to your mother! She
feels like she’s depriving you of life when you’re with her, and when she pushes
you into something that you might enjoy, you make her suffer for it by forcing
yourself to hate it. Either way, you’re miserable and she loses!”
She panted, fighting to dam her tears, not wanting them to
spill in front of him. Her next words came out in a whisper.
“How do you think that makes her feel?” When he didn’t answer, “Forget about your own
guilt. Think of hers.”
She turned and sped down the steps, stomping passed Sass
only to slide to a stop. A ride was exactly what she needed. She grabbed the
first bridle she saw hanging on a wooden post and buckled it onto the roan.
Flinging herself onto Sass’s bare back, one swift kick of her heel and the pair
tore out of the stables, beating down the shadows across the open meadow while
tears streaked down Mackenna’s cheeks.
Brent went to the window and watched her sprint away from
him, from his biting tongue and callous insults. His features were still
twisted in anger, but his innards were cringing at how he sent her away and the
message she shot to his soul before she left. He had not once in the past five
years thought of the guilt his mother must surely feel. After the accident,
Brent had given up any ideas he once owned for his future and devoted his time
and attentions to caring for her.
Alora had never asked it of him, but to him it wasn’t a
question to be answered. She was his mother, whose entire world had just been
shattered. There was no way he could
walk away and continue with his plans. She was constantly pushing him to take
jobs out of state, to date someone seriously, to go to college somewhere, but
he considered it a mother’s natural inclination and had refused.
For years, he worked side-by-side with Ty raising cattle for
slaughter. It was a job that worked him hard enough to forget his own abandoned
ambitions. During the summers Ty would always help his family out on the dude.
Brent had never had any interest in it. He knew it would take him away from his
mother’s home, which was too far away to commute every day. The cattle ranch
was only ten miles from home.
His shoulders sagged with the realization. That’s why his
mother had persuaded him to work the dude this summer. At the time, she made a
case for Bev McCrae, saying she was starving for good hands. Alora had said it
was the height of bad manners for him to refuse Bev’s request for help on the
dude and she would not allow him to shame her that way. The McCraes had been
good, Christian friends to them and he
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