Beyond My Control: Forbidden Fantasies in an Uncensored Age by Nancy Friday Page A

begins jacking off just watching us. Suddenly, the woman begins to moan so loudly, it’s deafening. “I’m getting what I want. Fuck me hard!” At about that point, my roommate and I both are about ready to cum as the woman begins to writhe up and down on the bed near orgasm. Her husband moves closer, and we all scream with pleasure as he shoots wads of his cum all over us. Afterward, my roommate and I and her husband softly stroke the woman and caress her with body oil until she falls asleep.

    d o N ’ T a s k m e — i ’ m o N l y y o u r p a r e N T
    Our later sexual activity will always have a relevance to the early years when we were alone with our bodies. No one ever said our genitals were a beautiful place. We were taught to brush our teeth so that they would serve us a lifetime, to stand up straight, and not to strain our eyes. But no one said a word about the care, respect, and maintenance of the springboard of our sexual feeling. Why care for a place that has no value, a place that we females can never get clean enough?
    We wonder why adolescents risk pregnancy and disease, why HIV is increasing in young gay men. Stealth and risk have be- come integral to our orgasm. Many young women today think
    no better of their genitals than we did thirty years ago. How different would we be had our parents been open and honest with us, taught us to be proud of our genitals, and, yes, meant what they said?

    Heather
    Heather is a twenty-six-year-old white mother of three girls, ages three, four, and six. She was married to her first husband, an abusive alcoholic, for five years and has been married for three years to a loving second husband. Raised by conserva- tive grandparents, with a reticent attitude toward sex, she lost her virginity at the age of thirteen to a boy she was dating. She didn’t use protection, the pill, until she was fourteen, miscarried at seventeen, and, similar to Susannah, became pregnant and married at nineteen.

    I was a big dater and very active after I was raped at age fifteen. I figured I was never going to fall in love and no one was going to love me because of the rape. So, I began to date just about anyone who asked, and if sex was mentioned, it usually was done. I also dated mostly guys who were a few years older. My first husband was ten years older, and sex was great till the bottle took over. After that, it was like being raped all over again. I began masturbating then, which is when my fantasies began.
    I met my current and hopefully last husband (four years older) while I was going through my divorce. After our first date, we wanted to make love and after two weeks couldn’t keep our hands off each other. So, my girls and I moved in with him. He travels at least once a year, and during those times, I masturbate fantasizing about him being with me. My most recent fantasy has to do with where he is right now: I’m dressed in a harem costume complete with crotchless panties, and I’m in
    his dorm. He thinks I’m at home in the States. He comes back to find me waiting for him. I have drawn him a warm bath and have massage oil waiting for him. He is in a state of shock but allows me to undress him even though he has a million questions. I kiss his body as I undress him, and since we have been apart for so long, his penis rises to attention quickly. I tell him to get in the bath, and he does. I wash him, stopping to give his male member extra attention. After his bath, I dry him off, again kissing his whole body as I do so. I tell him to lie on his belly and give him a massage, then make him roll over onto his back. I massage his chest and legs, avoiding his penis, which really makes him crazy. I then begin to massage his penis with my mouth and tongue, first slowly, and then lick his balls in between. Then, I spring back to his penis, first slow and then with a quickening pace. Before he can cum, he has to please me, too, so he proceeds to lick my clit and finger-fuck my pussy. He