feasting on fish and sharing a crème brûlée for dessert. I smiled, even laughed, and desperately tried to ignore the thoughts that threatened to dominate my mind: the downfall of my other life, the sadness of knowing my parents hadn’t believed me, had not even given me the chance to explain.
I’d been locked away. And now I was polishing off crème brûlée.
The waiter came over and started to clear our plates.
‘ Bonne ?’ he asked.
I smiled. ‘ Qui, merci. Tout était délicieux !’ I replied, the words rolling off my tongue.
The waiter’s eyes sparkled. ‘ Votre accent est presque parfait ,’ he said, complimenting my French.
My smile widened. ‘ J’aime la langue. J’ai été l’apprentissage toute ma vie ,’ I replied, telling the waiter that I loved the language and had been learning it my whole life.
He beamed in response. ‘ Oui. Pas assez de gens réalisent les avantages de parler une autre langue. Vous pouvez prendre la compétence partout avec vous .’ He gave me a small bow even as I sat there, stunned by what he’d said.
The waiter turned to Dex. ‘Please excuse me. Your friend is very lovely and so few of our customers speak French so well.’
Dex didn’t look impressed. ‘Yeah. She’s amazing.’ His expression grew sour and even a touch threatening as he added, ‘And she’s my girl friend.’ He passed the waiter money for the check.
The waiter smiled, unperturbed. ‘Of course.’ He glanced at me again and left the table.
‘What did he say?’ Dex asked, trying to hide his irritation at not knowing. But I couldn’t be bothered placating him.
‘He said it was such an advantage to know another language. That a person could take the skill anywhere once they had it.’ I stared into space.
The waiter was right. Languages could go anywhere.
For the life of me, I couldn’t say what movie Dex and I saw. I can’t remember watching any of it – I was too busy trying to stay afloat in my flooded mind. Dex didn’t seem to notice. Or perhaps he did and didn’t know what was wrong. Either way,he drove me home afterwards and I did my best to keep up with the small talk. By the time he pulled up in front of my house it was starting to get dark and I felt guilty that I hadn’t given him the kind of day, or attention, he’d obviously envisaged.
He walked beside me, unusually silent, to the front door.
When I stopped and turned to him, he tilted his head. ‘Are you okay, Sabine?’
I nodded. ‘I’m fine. I just think I’m still a little tired after the party on Friday night and … I don’t know, nervous about graduation and finishing school.’
He exhaled. ‘Yeah. Change can be daunting. But there’s no point holding onto things just because it’s scary to take the leap and move on. Once people do, I figure they rarely look back. You just have to know when the time is right.’
The thing was, I totally agreed with what Dex was saying. I just didn’t know what that meant for me – or my lives.
I leaned in towards him and he responded, closing the distance and giving me a kiss. It lasted to second number eight before I morphed it into a hug.
‘On the other hand,’ Dex said cheekily, ‘sometimes it’s important to hold onto the good things. And you’re my good thing, Sabine. I’m never going to let you go. I’m looking forward to moving on … to our future. There are some things I’ll be more than happy for us both to say goodbye to.’
I was glad we were hugging so he couldn’t see me cringe. I knew he was talking about our ever-nearing graduationnight; that this was his way of telling me he hadn’t done ‘it’ before. I’d generally figured that out for myself. We’d been together for two years and Dex wasn’t the type to cheat. He’d been understanding and patient and I wanted to give him all of me, but thoughts of us fumbling through our first time flashed into my mind and I felt my brow furrow. Then, out of nowhere, the image in my mind
I’d been locked away. And now I was polishing off crème brûlée.
The waiter came over and started to clear our plates.
‘ Bonne ?’ he asked.
I smiled. ‘ Qui, merci. Tout était délicieux !’ I replied, the words rolling off my tongue.
The waiter’s eyes sparkled. ‘ Votre accent est presque parfait ,’ he said, complimenting my French.
My smile widened. ‘ J’aime la langue. J’ai été l’apprentissage toute ma vie ,’ I replied, telling the waiter that I loved the language and had been learning it my whole life.
He beamed in response. ‘ Oui. Pas assez de gens réalisent les avantages de parler une autre langue. Vous pouvez prendre la compétence partout avec vous .’ He gave me a small bow even as I sat there, stunned by what he’d said.
The waiter turned to Dex. ‘Please excuse me. Your friend is very lovely and so few of our customers speak French so well.’
Dex didn’t look impressed. ‘Yeah. She’s amazing.’ His expression grew sour and even a touch threatening as he added, ‘And she’s my girl friend.’ He passed the waiter money for the check.
The waiter smiled, unperturbed. ‘Of course.’ He glanced at me again and left the table.
‘What did he say?’ Dex asked, trying to hide his irritation at not knowing. But I couldn’t be bothered placating him.
‘He said it was such an advantage to know another language. That a person could take the skill anywhere once they had it.’ I stared into space.
The waiter was right. Languages could go anywhere.
For the life of me, I couldn’t say what movie Dex and I saw. I can’t remember watching any of it – I was too busy trying to stay afloat in my flooded mind. Dex didn’t seem to notice. Or perhaps he did and didn’t know what was wrong. Either way,he drove me home afterwards and I did my best to keep up with the small talk. By the time he pulled up in front of my house it was starting to get dark and I felt guilty that I hadn’t given him the kind of day, or attention, he’d obviously envisaged.
He walked beside me, unusually silent, to the front door.
When I stopped and turned to him, he tilted his head. ‘Are you okay, Sabine?’
I nodded. ‘I’m fine. I just think I’m still a little tired after the party on Friday night and … I don’t know, nervous about graduation and finishing school.’
He exhaled. ‘Yeah. Change can be daunting. But there’s no point holding onto things just because it’s scary to take the leap and move on. Once people do, I figure they rarely look back. You just have to know when the time is right.’
The thing was, I totally agreed with what Dex was saying. I just didn’t know what that meant for me – or my lives.
I leaned in towards him and he responded, closing the distance and giving me a kiss. It lasted to second number eight before I morphed it into a hug.
‘On the other hand,’ Dex said cheekily, ‘sometimes it’s important to hold onto the good things. And you’re my good thing, Sabine. I’m never going to let you go. I’m looking forward to moving on … to our future. There are some things I’ll be more than happy for us both to say goodbye to.’
I was glad we were hugging so he couldn’t see me cringe. I knew he was talking about our ever-nearing graduationnight; that this was his way of telling me he hadn’t done ‘it’ before. I’d generally figured that out for myself. We’d been together for two years and Dex wasn’t the type to cheat. He’d been understanding and patient and I wanted to give him all of me, but thoughts of us fumbling through our first time flashed into my mind and I felt my brow furrow. Then, out of nowhere, the image in my mind
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