here.
ROSIE. But you weren’t. I’ll never figure out why the hell you stay.
RICARDO. Same reason you do. There’s no place like home.
ROSIE. Hey, there’s better places to go than this God forsaken shit hole. (She rips open a package of crackers.)
RICARDO. How would you know? You’ve never even been outside of Nebraska.
ROSIE. (Shoving crackers into her mouth:) So! I’ve been to Lincoln. And me and my grandmother went to Omaha last summer. She had to go see a specialist for her rheumatism.
RICARDO. You hate that old woman.
ROSIE. She’s lazy.
RICARDO. Be nice. She lets you live with her for free.
ROSIE. Someone has to take care of her.
RICARDO. Is she still obsessed with aliens?
ROSIE. She swears the mother ship is coming for her any day now. (Beat.) I just wish the fuckers would hurry up and get here and take her away.
RICARDO. There’s a storm coming tonight.
ROSIE. You bet your ass there is. Maybe you and your psycho lover boy will get blown away in a tornado. Or better yet, maybe the two of you can hitch a ride with my grandmother and fly off to Saturn where you all belong.
RICARDO. (Aside:) God willing.
(JUDY, a petite and timid woman in her early thirties, enters.)
ROSIE. (To Judy:) Don’t you have anything else better to do?
JUDY. (Nervous; tearful:) It’s been a week. I can’t take it anymore.
ROSIE. He isn’t coming back.
JUDY. Yes, he is. He promised.
ROSIE. Tell her Ricardo.
RICARDO. What do you want me to tell her?
ROSIE. That all he wanted was a piece of lonely ass and as soon as she gave it up, he hit the road and he ain’t coming back.
RICARDO. Judy, are you hungry?
JUDY. (Only to Ricardo:) I haven’t been able to eat much. I’m nervous all the time. My hands are shaking. My heart is rattled. I can’t even concentrate. Ricardo, do you think I’ve gone mad?
ROSIE. He’s a truck driver that you spent a night with in a sleazy motel. Get over it.
JUDY. It wasn’t like that, Rosie. You wouldn’t know because you hate the world and you’ve never been in love.
ROSIE. (Angered:) I have so been in love, for your information. (She glances quickly at Ricardo, then:) There are things about me that you don’t know. I got secrets and I’m taking ‘em with me to the grave. (She returns to the task of painting her nails.)
JUDY. Well, you just keep quiet about him. He’ll be back here and he’ll prove you wrong.
ROSIE. Suit yourself, loser. Sit here all night and wait for him. I have big plans.
RICARDO. (Intervening:) Let me get you something to drink, Judy.
JUDY. Just water. With a slice of lemon. My throat is dry. Must be from the wind.
RICARDO. It’s supposed to be a bad storm.
ROSIE. (She messes up on a fingernail:) Shit!
JUDY. (To Ricardo:) You believe me, don’t you, Ricardo? He’ll be back, won’t he?
RICARDO. I hope so.
JUDY. Rosie’s always talking nonsense.
(Rosie flips Judy off, without a second thought.)
RICARDO. She can’t stand to see anyone happy because she’s so miserable.
ROSIE. (She snaps her fingers.) Um, hi! I’m still here. I can hear all your bullshit. I’m not deaf. It’s like a funeral around here. Everyone’s all sad and cry babying like the end of the fucking world is coming. Jesus, people, lighten up and quit your bitching. It wears on a person after a while.
JUDY. (Gathers her courage, stands, and then:) You’re a hateful, mean person, Rosie, and I’ve never liked you.
ROSIE. (She stands and slinks over to Judy.) Is that supposed to hurt? Judy, you’re an idiot and you’ve always been an idiot. Just because some lowlife dirty trucker paid you some attention, you sit here every night like a ghost waiting for some fantasy to come true. Well, guess what? He got what he wanted and he’s probably a thousand miles away from here by now. Which is exactly where I should be.
RICARDO. (To Rosie:) You’re not going anywhere.
JUDY. Except to hell. You will, Rosie, because you don’t have any compassion and
ROSIE. But you weren’t. I’ll never figure out why the hell you stay.
RICARDO. Same reason you do. There’s no place like home.
ROSIE. Hey, there’s better places to go than this God forsaken shit hole. (She rips open a package of crackers.)
RICARDO. How would you know? You’ve never even been outside of Nebraska.
ROSIE. (Shoving crackers into her mouth:) So! I’ve been to Lincoln. And me and my grandmother went to Omaha last summer. She had to go see a specialist for her rheumatism.
RICARDO. You hate that old woman.
ROSIE. She’s lazy.
RICARDO. Be nice. She lets you live with her for free.
ROSIE. Someone has to take care of her.
RICARDO. Is she still obsessed with aliens?
ROSIE. She swears the mother ship is coming for her any day now. (Beat.) I just wish the fuckers would hurry up and get here and take her away.
RICARDO. There’s a storm coming tonight.
ROSIE. You bet your ass there is. Maybe you and your psycho lover boy will get blown away in a tornado. Or better yet, maybe the two of you can hitch a ride with my grandmother and fly off to Saturn where you all belong.
RICARDO. (Aside:) God willing.
(JUDY, a petite and timid woman in her early thirties, enters.)
ROSIE. (To Judy:) Don’t you have anything else better to do?
JUDY. (Nervous; tearful:) It’s been a week. I can’t take it anymore.
ROSIE. He isn’t coming back.
JUDY. Yes, he is. He promised.
ROSIE. Tell her Ricardo.
RICARDO. What do you want me to tell her?
ROSIE. That all he wanted was a piece of lonely ass and as soon as she gave it up, he hit the road and he ain’t coming back.
RICARDO. Judy, are you hungry?
JUDY. (Only to Ricardo:) I haven’t been able to eat much. I’m nervous all the time. My hands are shaking. My heart is rattled. I can’t even concentrate. Ricardo, do you think I’ve gone mad?
ROSIE. He’s a truck driver that you spent a night with in a sleazy motel. Get over it.
JUDY. It wasn’t like that, Rosie. You wouldn’t know because you hate the world and you’ve never been in love.
ROSIE. (Angered:) I have so been in love, for your information. (She glances quickly at Ricardo, then:) There are things about me that you don’t know. I got secrets and I’m taking ‘em with me to the grave. (She returns to the task of painting her nails.)
JUDY. Well, you just keep quiet about him. He’ll be back here and he’ll prove you wrong.
ROSIE. Suit yourself, loser. Sit here all night and wait for him. I have big plans.
RICARDO. (Intervening:) Let me get you something to drink, Judy.
JUDY. Just water. With a slice of lemon. My throat is dry. Must be from the wind.
RICARDO. It’s supposed to be a bad storm.
ROSIE. (She messes up on a fingernail:) Shit!
JUDY. (To Ricardo:) You believe me, don’t you, Ricardo? He’ll be back, won’t he?
RICARDO. I hope so.
JUDY. Rosie’s always talking nonsense.
(Rosie flips Judy off, without a second thought.)
RICARDO. She can’t stand to see anyone happy because she’s so miserable.
ROSIE. (She snaps her fingers.) Um, hi! I’m still here. I can hear all your bullshit. I’m not deaf. It’s like a funeral around here. Everyone’s all sad and cry babying like the end of the fucking world is coming. Jesus, people, lighten up and quit your bitching. It wears on a person after a while.
JUDY. (Gathers her courage, stands, and then:) You’re a hateful, mean person, Rosie, and I’ve never liked you.
ROSIE. (She stands and slinks over to Judy.) Is that supposed to hurt? Judy, you’re an idiot and you’ve always been an idiot. Just because some lowlife dirty trucker paid you some attention, you sit here every night like a ghost waiting for some fantasy to come true. Well, guess what? He got what he wanted and he’s probably a thousand miles away from here by now. Which is exactly where I should be.
RICARDO. (To Rosie:) You’re not going anywhere.
JUDY. Except to hell. You will, Rosie, because you don’t have any compassion and
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