greener at home but life was simpler.
“Different times,” everyone would sigh when they had enough drink inside them and the mournful music of home was playing on the CD player.
Erin had long suspected that those who did return home drove everyone in Italy or Australia mad by telling them how wonderful America was and how they missed it and how the roads÷hospitals÷ coffee were better there.
She, on the other hand, never indulged in shows of nostalgia for the country of her birth. Not that anybody ever noticed. With a name like Erin and her swathe of rippling copper silk for hair, she seemed as Irish as they came. People assumed she quietly longed to be sitting in an Irish pub on Paddy’s Day, proudly wearing a clod of shamrock and sighing mournfully into her Guinness. They didn’t know she felt she’d recklessly thrown away her Irishness the day she abandoned her family.
When their friends heard that she and Greg were leaving the States, they all said the same thing: “We knew you would.”
Erin felt like remarking: “You knew more than I did, that’s for sure.”
The line in the dry-cleaner’s was gone but Erin didn’t have the energy to leave the plastic chair and pick up her stuff. She was going home and she didn’t know how to face the guilt.
Greg fell asleep halfway through the new Spielberg movie. Erin, who’d been watching the latest Nicole Kidman offering on her tiny screen, leaned over and gently removed his headphones. She pulled the grey airline rug over his shoulders so he wouldn’t be cold and moved his empty water glass onto her own tray in case he knocked it over, smiling at the realisation that she only gave in to her mothering instinct with Greg when he was asleep.
Conscious of getting dehydrated, she drank some more water, and settled back to watch the movie but her concentration had been broken.
As the plane flew through the night, Erin cast her mind back to her last hours at home. She remembered the stricken face of the woman she’d always called Mum but who was, in fact, her grandmother, when she’d shouted that she was leaving because they’d lied to her all her life. She remembered leaving many of her childhood treasures be-hind when she fled the house because she’d wanted to demonstrate the depth of her rejection. Most of all, she remembered the pain she’d felt when she found out that the most important people in her life—her mother, her father and her sister—weren’t who they said they were. Thanks to Erin’s shocking discovery, all her family relationships had shifted. Dad was really her grandfather, bolshy Kerry wasn’t her sister but her aunt, and the long-absent sister Shannon, the wild one who never came home but sent postcards from exotic locations when the mood took her, was really Erin’s mother.
The first thing that struck Erin as she and Greg followed the Cuchulainn driver out of Cork airport to the car park was how warm it was. There was no sign of the beating rain that was part of her memory of home. Instead, a soft spring breeze shimmied over her face, like a silky scarf just out of the dryer. The acid bite of Chicago’s wind chill seemed a lifetime away.
“Lovely day,” said Greg appreciatively, filling his lungs with clean air after so many hours in the stuffy cabin.
The second thing Erin noticed was that the driver was refusing to fit the chatty Irish cabbie mould. There was none of the blarney she had expected, no third degree as he tried to work out where they were from, had they any family in Cork or did they know so and so in Chicago, which was the kind of thing Erin remembered from home. Oh well, she shrugged. She’d changed, so it was only fair to assume that Ireland had changed too.
Eager to see a bit of the place, Greg asked for the scenic route, so instead of taking the most direct road to Dunmore, which bypassed the centre of the city, the driver drove them along Patrick Street, pointing out places of note.
Erin tried to
“Different times,” everyone would sigh when they had enough drink inside them and the mournful music of home was playing on the CD player.
Erin had long suspected that those who did return home drove everyone in Italy or Australia mad by telling them how wonderful America was and how they missed it and how the roads÷hospitals÷ coffee were better there.
She, on the other hand, never indulged in shows of nostalgia for the country of her birth. Not that anybody ever noticed. With a name like Erin and her swathe of rippling copper silk for hair, she seemed as Irish as they came. People assumed she quietly longed to be sitting in an Irish pub on Paddy’s Day, proudly wearing a clod of shamrock and sighing mournfully into her Guinness. They didn’t know she felt she’d recklessly thrown away her Irishness the day she abandoned her family.
When their friends heard that she and Greg were leaving the States, they all said the same thing: “We knew you would.”
Erin felt like remarking: “You knew more than I did, that’s for sure.”
The line in the dry-cleaner’s was gone but Erin didn’t have the energy to leave the plastic chair and pick up her stuff. She was going home and she didn’t know how to face the guilt.
Greg fell asleep halfway through the new Spielberg movie. Erin, who’d been watching the latest Nicole Kidman offering on her tiny screen, leaned over and gently removed his headphones. She pulled the grey airline rug over his shoulders so he wouldn’t be cold and moved his empty water glass onto her own tray in case he knocked it over, smiling at the realisation that she only gave in to her mothering instinct with Greg when he was asleep.
Conscious of getting dehydrated, she drank some more water, and settled back to watch the movie but her concentration had been broken.
As the plane flew through the night, Erin cast her mind back to her last hours at home. She remembered the stricken face of the woman she’d always called Mum but who was, in fact, her grandmother, when she’d shouted that she was leaving because they’d lied to her all her life. She remembered leaving many of her childhood treasures be-hind when she fled the house because she’d wanted to demonstrate the depth of her rejection. Most of all, she remembered the pain she’d felt when she found out that the most important people in her life—her mother, her father and her sister—weren’t who they said they were. Thanks to Erin’s shocking discovery, all her family relationships had shifted. Dad was really her grandfather, bolshy Kerry wasn’t her sister but her aunt, and the long-absent sister Shannon, the wild one who never came home but sent postcards from exotic locations when the mood took her, was really Erin’s mother.
The first thing that struck Erin as she and Greg followed the Cuchulainn driver out of Cork airport to the car park was how warm it was. There was no sign of the beating rain that was part of her memory of home. Instead, a soft spring breeze shimmied over her face, like a silky scarf just out of the dryer. The acid bite of Chicago’s wind chill seemed a lifetime away.
“Lovely day,” said Greg appreciatively, filling his lungs with clean air after so many hours in the stuffy cabin.
The second thing Erin noticed was that the driver was refusing to fit the chatty Irish cabbie mould. There was none of the blarney she had expected, no third degree as he tried to work out where they were from, had they any family in Cork or did they know so and so in Chicago, which was the kind of thing Erin remembered from home. Oh well, she shrugged. She’d changed, so it was only fair to assume that Ireland had changed too.
Eager to see a bit of the place, Greg asked for the scenic route, so instead of taking the most direct road to Dunmore, which bypassed the centre of the city, the driver drove them along Patrick Street, pointing out places of note.
Erin tried to
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