up.’
‘You’ve taken a nose dive this year, then?’
He shook his head. ‘It’s not as bad as that. People still move house whatever the state of the economy but we’ve had to hold our prices in order to stay competitive, and throw in a few discounts as well, and that all eats into theprofits. Anyway, I don’t want you to be worried about it. We’ll get by.’
She didn’t want to talk business, didn’t want to upset him, and she didn’t like to admit to herself that he looked different. The illness had aged him and it was as if a sparkle had fizzled out. He had never been the life-and-soul-of-the-party type but the two of them had always shared something special, something that was missing between her and her mother.
‘I could always come back into the business if you’d have me,’ she said as the thought struck her. ‘I’m not sure what’s happening with my job in the New Year.’
‘So you want to hedge your bets? You would be very welcome, darling, although I don’t know how Mike would react to it. What the hell am I going to do with him, Amy? I can’t sack my own son, your mother’s made that quite clear, but I tell you, if he was anybody other than my son he would have been long gone.’
‘As bad as that?’
‘As bad as that. I worry about what will happen when I’m gone.’ He looked suddenly so much older. ‘Don’t tell your mother. But I have an awful feeling that my days are numbered. After all, my grandfather and then my dad both died young so the odds are stacked against me. I’m doing everything I should be doing, more or less, but you never know what’s round the corner.’
‘Hey, come on.’ She went across to him and cuddled into him feeling his arms slipping round her. He was wearing a cashmere sweater and it was comfortably soft. Underneath she could hear his heart beating, nice and regular, thank heavens, and he smelt of soap with just a trace of cigarettes thrown in, which was what he meant by the ‘more or less’. ‘What is it about Christmas that makes everybody so bloody depressed?’
‘Less of the swearing, young lady,’ he pushed her gently away, smiling now.
There was the sound of laughter from the other room and the television blared forth.
‘We’d better go back in or they’ll wonder where we are.’
‘I miss you when you’re not here,’ he said wistfully. ‘You should come to see us more often. One thing more.…’
‘What?’
‘All I want is for you to be happy. Don’t let your mother drive you into doing something you don’t want to do.’
‘Are you warning me off Brian? I’ve told you, Dad, it’s not serious.’
‘Then why the hell is he here?’
Following him out of the room, she wondered that too.
Brian slipped into Amy’s bed in the early hours of Christmas morning, shaking her out of the dream she was engaged in. In the dream she was at the store although, as in the way of dreams, it was a mixture of the various ones she had worked in. She was running late but on coming into the store through Cosmetics & Perfumery there was Bea looking as if she had just woken up; hair messy, face shiny, in old cotton pyjamas, pink fur-trimmed granny slippers. She yanked Amy’s arm as she passed muttering that she didn’t want Daniel to see her like this. Amy had never seen Bea looking so vulnerable and that was when she awoke to see Brian, eyes full of expectation, beside her. He was wearing boxers but no top and already, even though she was only half awake his hands were sliding up her leg.
‘Happy Christmas,’ he murmured against her ear. ‘I thought it would be a nice way to start the day.’
‘For heaven’s sake, do you know what time it is?’ She pushed him aside and peered at the bedside clock. ‘A quarter to two, that’s what.’
‘I thought you’d be expecting me,’ he said, ignoring her tone, his voice low and silky. ‘I know you said you needed to get some sleep but I thought—’
‘Well, you thought
‘You’ve taken a nose dive this year, then?’
He shook his head. ‘It’s not as bad as that. People still move house whatever the state of the economy but we’ve had to hold our prices in order to stay competitive, and throw in a few discounts as well, and that all eats into theprofits. Anyway, I don’t want you to be worried about it. We’ll get by.’
She didn’t want to talk business, didn’t want to upset him, and she didn’t like to admit to herself that he looked different. The illness had aged him and it was as if a sparkle had fizzled out. He had never been the life-and-soul-of-the-party type but the two of them had always shared something special, something that was missing between her and her mother.
‘I could always come back into the business if you’d have me,’ she said as the thought struck her. ‘I’m not sure what’s happening with my job in the New Year.’
‘So you want to hedge your bets? You would be very welcome, darling, although I don’t know how Mike would react to it. What the hell am I going to do with him, Amy? I can’t sack my own son, your mother’s made that quite clear, but I tell you, if he was anybody other than my son he would have been long gone.’
‘As bad as that?’
‘As bad as that. I worry about what will happen when I’m gone.’ He looked suddenly so much older. ‘Don’t tell your mother. But I have an awful feeling that my days are numbered. After all, my grandfather and then my dad both died young so the odds are stacked against me. I’m doing everything I should be doing, more or less, but you never know what’s round the corner.’
‘Hey, come on.’ She went across to him and cuddled into him feeling his arms slipping round her. He was wearing a cashmere sweater and it was comfortably soft. Underneath she could hear his heart beating, nice and regular, thank heavens, and he smelt of soap with just a trace of cigarettes thrown in, which was what he meant by the ‘more or less’. ‘What is it about Christmas that makes everybody so bloody depressed?’
‘Less of the swearing, young lady,’ he pushed her gently away, smiling now.
There was the sound of laughter from the other room and the television blared forth.
‘We’d better go back in or they’ll wonder where we are.’
‘I miss you when you’re not here,’ he said wistfully. ‘You should come to see us more often. One thing more.…’
‘What?’
‘All I want is for you to be happy. Don’t let your mother drive you into doing something you don’t want to do.’
‘Are you warning me off Brian? I’ve told you, Dad, it’s not serious.’
‘Then why the hell is he here?’
Following him out of the room, she wondered that too.
Brian slipped into Amy’s bed in the early hours of Christmas morning, shaking her out of the dream she was engaged in. In the dream she was at the store although, as in the way of dreams, it was a mixture of the various ones she had worked in. She was running late but on coming into the store through Cosmetics & Perfumery there was Bea looking as if she had just woken up; hair messy, face shiny, in old cotton pyjamas, pink fur-trimmed granny slippers. She yanked Amy’s arm as she passed muttering that she didn’t want Daniel to see her like this. Amy had never seen Bea looking so vulnerable and that was when she awoke to see Brian, eyes full of expectation, beside her. He was wearing boxers but no top and already, even though she was only half awake his hands were sliding up her leg.
‘Happy Christmas,’ he murmured against her ear. ‘I thought it would be a nice way to start the day.’
‘For heaven’s sake, do you know what time it is?’ She pushed him aside and peered at the bedside clock. ‘A quarter to two, that’s what.’
‘I thought you’d be expecting me,’ he said, ignoring her tone, his voice low and silky. ‘I know you said you needed to get some sleep but I thought—’
‘Well, you thought
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