Beloved by Corinne Michaels Page B

down the aisle or dance with me at my wedding. I don’t need him or want any part of him, so why do I feel such utter despair? The tightness in my chest has me gasping for air, shaking. I roll down the window frantically—I need air.
    Jackson places his hand on my arm and I snap my head up. I kind of forgot about him there beside me. He’s staring at me. He squeezes my arm and his eyes soften as if he can sense my panic. “Are you okay?” His voice is concerned.
    I shake my head subtly up and down. I don’t think I can speak. I avert my eyes, looking at my hands grasped tightly in my lap.
    “Catherine,” he says softly, looking alarmed by whatever emotions are showing on my face. He reaches for my hand and places his gently over mine. I can’t look at him. I need to keep it together. I should have never listened to that damn voicemail. Who tells someone their parent died on a voicemail? Another way my mother and her selfish ways come to light. She could’ve called again, could’ve called Taylor—anything other than leave a voicemail.
    I need to explain this to him. I have to say something. I look over and whisper, “My father died.”
    His eyes widen in shock before changing to sympathy. “I’m so sorry,” he says, and his sincerity breaks my carefully constructed wall.
    “It’s fine. I mean, we weren’t close. I just—” My chin begins to tremble. I can’t speak anymore.
    My heart is aching. All these years, all this time—it’s all over and I’ll never get the answers I so desperately needed. Why did he really leave me? Tears blur my vision. I close my eyes and try to hang on to the anger I had moments ago.
    Jackson must sense I’m about to fall apart because he leans in, puts his arm around me, and pulls me to his side. I try to resist, but he’s stronger and grips tighter. Not wanting to fight him, I give in, allowing myself this one moment to accept the comfort he’s offering. His warmth cocoons me as I curl into his chest and slip my arm around his stomach. He holds me so snug, keeping me together while my mind spins. He does nothing to move me, just tenderly strokes the side of my arm. My heart is pounding and my breathing is shallow, both from the whirlwind of emotions and his closeness. I start to pull away, trying to put some distance between us, but Jackson refuses to relax his hold on me. I have to admit I feel so small and safe in his embrace. Closing my eyes, I lose myself in his touch. I want to cry, but the tears won’t come. I focus on the steady sound of his heartbeat. So sure, so strong. The thrumming anchors me and keeps me from falling apart. We stay like this the rest of the car ride, neither of us speaking as I try to understand the numbness I’m feeling.
    When we arrive at the airport, Jackson shifts slightly and I sit up. I look out the window and realize we’re at Teterboro, which means we’re flying on a private jet. I turn to look at Jackson, confused and embarrassed, when he puts his hand on my cheek, softly cradling it. “Are you going to be okay? We can cancel the trip if you need to.”
    “No!” I say loudly and he startles, dropping his hand from my face.
    “I’m serious. You need to deal with—” His brows draw together before he runs his hands down his face.
    “No, it’s fine.” I don’t want to deal with any of it. I’m not going to run to take care of a man who never cared enough to take care of me. I take a deep breath and move my hand, placing it tentatively on his. “Please, I don’t want to reschedule the trip. I promise, I’m really okay.”
    He stays quiet for a minute. I’m praying he believes me. Jackson pinches the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. He blows out a long breath, exits the car, and walks over to speak to the driver. My heart can’t take this pain. I hang my head, creating a veil with my dark brown hair so he can’t see me falling apart. I need this trip. I want to escape and not go back and have to deal with my dead