Being Amber by Sylvia Ryan Page A

thoughts flitted through her head. She was high, drugged somehow. She was there–but not there. She was a scent wafting in the air. She was light.
    She began to return back to him. She didn’t want to. It felt so good, but she was merely a passenger on his ride. He held the power of these divine moments, not she. He kissed the inside of her thighs, caressed her calves, smoothed his hands over the thrumming skin he’d crisscrossed with leather. Up and down, he quieted her flesh. She felt the weight of his body depress the mattress as he leaned over her and caressed the hair away from her face. He kissed her cheek and then he trailed a finger from the back of her neck to the cleft of her ass, pausing for a moment at her rear entrance. She was aware of his movements, but she didn’t flinch.
    He rolled her and curled his arm behind her shoulders, lifting her. “Come to me,” he whispered in her ear. “Let me know when everything becomes too much. I’ll help you not feel it, help you get rid of everything bottled up inside you. I’ll take care of it for you. I’ll take care of you, always.” He lifted a glass to her lips and she drank like an obedient child. He covered her with the blanket and then left the bed. The bathroom door snicked closed.
    She was a loose puddle, clinging to the feeling of joy Xander provided for her. She lay there alone, happy.
    As time ticked by, Jaci’s body, and her senses came to her slowly.
    No sex?
    It felt like sex and something more. It felt like she gave him something from inside her. Relinquished her instinct of self-preservation and in doing so, she was completely defenseless against him now. She felt the familiar pang of sadness, the feeling of abandonment when she was in their bed alone. And it was felt more keenly this time.
    * * * *
    Xander shut himself in the bathroom. This endeavor challenged him to his highest limits, and they were a second away from total annihilation. His cock was rock hard for Jaci. It literally throbbed, throwing a tantrum and demanding satisfaction. He could no longer fool himself into thinking what he felt toward her was platonic. He was falling in love. He felt compelled to make her feel better, to provide the escape she so desperately needed. To make her world safe and…
    He shook his head disappointed in himself as he shed his shorts and turned on the shower. He didn’t know if he could do this again without fucking her.
    He absolutely refused to allow himself to fall in love and he had to make sure that she didn’t either. He didn’t want to hurt her. Enough of that had been done already.
    Jordan was covering Jaci’s surveillance for the day. He had plenty of time on his hands. He needed a release of his own.
    By the time he stepped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around his waist, he heard Jordan talking on the other side of the door. Shit. He hadn’t brought in any clean clothes with him.
    Going commando under his shorts was his only option.
    After a quick run of fingers through his hair, Xander left the bathroom and was met immediately by a disapproving glare from Jordan. She’d recognized the aftermath of his actions, and it was obvious she didn’t approve. He wasn’t surprised. She’d never suffered such soul searing pain. Never needed the catharsis, the shelter of oblivion. She didn’t truly understand the relief he’d provided Jaci. Trying to avoid Jordan’s chastising scowl, Xander walked over to Jaci who was still in bed. She’d cocooned herself in the blanket from chin to toe. He searched her with his eyes. Her cheeks were flushed. Leaning over, he met her gaze.
    “How do you feel?”
    She met his gaze with foggy eyes and then parted her dusky-pink, rose-petal lips and sighed.
    She was coming back to herself nicely. He was satisfied that she’d feel good, numb, for a while. It was exactly what she wanted and needed.
    “She needed it,” he said in Jordan’s direction before he escaped from the women through the