stopped thumping and she was almost relaxed, soothed, by the rhythm of the wheels on the road underneath them.
Yelena was sitting wide-eyed. They’d hardly spoken, even though they had spent the whole afternoon together. Scarlett had so much to say – they should have been plotting escape, planning who was going to leap on the back of the first guy who opened the door and who was going to kick him in the balls. Instead, they were wary of each other. Despite her initial kindness – if that was what you could call it – Scarlett still didn’t feel any sort of warmth from the girl. She didn’t know what nationality she was, either. Eastern European was her best guess, but she could have been way off there too. And she was older, clearly, than Scarlett. She wanted to feel that Yelena would protect her, would stand up for her because she was still just a kid and vulnerable, but she didn’t feel that. She felt as though Yelena would rip her head off if she thought it would do her any good.
She’s not the enemy
, Scarlett thought.
She’s all I’ve got. And I’m all she’s got, too
.
Scarlett longed to stand up and stretch out. She needed the toilet, badly. It had been a mistake to drink those bottles of water so quickly, but she hadn’t been able to help herself – so thirsty, so desperate for a drink. She had only used the bucket in the room once, in all the time she was in there – and her urine had been dark and malodorous, telling her all she needed to know about how dehydrated she was. And the next stage after that, she knew having suffered many times before, was a bladder infection, and quite probably, if it wasn’t addressed with antibiotics, a kidney infection too.
At least this time nobody could accuse her of inflicting it on herself.
That one time, stressed with schoolwork and Dad and home life and worrying about Juliette and how she didn’t seem to talk any more, she’d just forgotten to drink enough and before she knew it she was in agony every time she had to pee. And the inevitable visit to the doctor with her mother, and the shame of it – discussing it over the kitchen table with
him
, in front of Juliette too.
‘She’s doing it for attention, of course; she always does things like this.’
‘This isn’t about you, Clive. She hasn’t deliberately timed it to coincide with your work project.’
‘Every time –
every
time something big is going on at work, Scarlett has to come down with some illness. And this one’s because she’s not drinking enough water? It’s drama, pure and simple. All about the drama.’
She’d sat at the kitchen table between them with tears rolling down her cheeks, not making a sound, not commenting even though she wanted to tell them both where to stick it, and even though she kept her silence this too became a focus for them.
‘Oh, do shut up, Scarlett. You’re not a baby.’
‘See?
See?
It’s all about her. All about her and her petty little manipulations…’
Leave me alone leave me alone leave me alone leave me alone
…
She could feel it now, that gnawing ache in her lower back, the dragging feeling in her lower abdomen. Her bladder was full but brewing infection. She wanted to cry but had no tears left – what good would it do? It just gave her a headache to deal with along with everything else.
She had two options: try to talk to Yelena, or retreat into her own head and think of other things. Anything. She tried to remember something that had made her happy, a time when she had felt free and relaxed.
At the leisure centre, with Cerys. Laughing because some of the boys from the college had been mucking around in front of them with some older girls – girlfriends, probably – and then one of them had gone to pull another one into the swimming pool and in revenge had had his shorts pulled down while his arms were occupied in the wrestling. Rough and tumble. All good fun. Lifeguards whistling to draw attention to it even more. And
Yelena was sitting wide-eyed. They’d hardly spoken, even though they had spent the whole afternoon together. Scarlett had so much to say – they should have been plotting escape, planning who was going to leap on the back of the first guy who opened the door and who was going to kick him in the balls. Instead, they were wary of each other. Despite her initial kindness – if that was what you could call it – Scarlett still didn’t feel any sort of warmth from the girl. She didn’t know what nationality she was, either. Eastern European was her best guess, but she could have been way off there too. And she was older, clearly, than Scarlett. She wanted to feel that Yelena would protect her, would stand up for her because she was still just a kid and vulnerable, but she didn’t feel that. She felt as though Yelena would rip her head off if she thought it would do her any good.
She’s not the enemy
, Scarlett thought.
She’s all I’ve got. And I’m all she’s got, too
.
Scarlett longed to stand up and stretch out. She needed the toilet, badly. It had been a mistake to drink those bottles of water so quickly, but she hadn’t been able to help herself – so thirsty, so desperate for a drink. She had only used the bucket in the room once, in all the time she was in there – and her urine had been dark and malodorous, telling her all she needed to know about how dehydrated she was. And the next stage after that, she knew having suffered many times before, was a bladder infection, and quite probably, if it wasn’t addressed with antibiotics, a kidney infection too.
At least this time nobody could accuse her of inflicting it on herself.
That one time, stressed with schoolwork and Dad and home life and worrying about Juliette and how she didn’t seem to talk any more, she’d just forgotten to drink enough and before she knew it she was in agony every time she had to pee. And the inevitable visit to the doctor with her mother, and the shame of it – discussing it over the kitchen table with
him
, in front of Juliette too.
‘She’s doing it for attention, of course; she always does things like this.’
‘This isn’t about you, Clive. She hasn’t deliberately timed it to coincide with your work project.’
‘Every time –
every
time something big is going on at work, Scarlett has to come down with some illness. And this one’s because she’s not drinking enough water? It’s drama, pure and simple. All about the drama.’
She’d sat at the kitchen table between them with tears rolling down her cheeks, not making a sound, not commenting even though she wanted to tell them both where to stick it, and even though she kept her silence this too became a focus for them.
‘Oh, do shut up, Scarlett. You’re not a baby.’
‘See?
See?
It’s all about her. All about her and her petty little manipulations…’
Leave me alone leave me alone leave me alone leave me alone
…
She could feel it now, that gnawing ache in her lower back, the dragging feeling in her lower abdomen. Her bladder was full but brewing infection. She wanted to cry but had no tears left – what good would it do? It just gave her a headache to deal with along with everything else.
She had two options: try to talk to Yelena, or retreat into her own head and think of other things. Anything. She tried to remember something that had made her happy, a time when she had felt free and relaxed.
At the leisure centre, with Cerys. Laughing because some of the boys from the college had been mucking around in front of them with some older girls – girlfriends, probably – and then one of them had gone to pull another one into the swimming pool and in revenge had had his shorts pulled down while his arms were occupied in the wrestling. Rough and tumble. All good fun. Lifeguards whistling to draw attention to it even more. And
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