Beautiful Redemption by Jamie McGuire Page A

the director and our team will know. He is going to have to lie to everyone he knows because I knew his connection to Benny could get me this promotion. I’m his fucking brother. What kind of person does that to his own brother?”
    Thomas’s self-loathing was difficult to watch, especially knowing there was no reprieve.
    “You didn’t do this just for a promotion. You might tell yourself that, but I don’t buy it.” I squeezed his hand. His misery was so heavy that even I could feel it. “And you didn’t force him to engage in illegal activity. You’re just trying to spare him the consequences of his actions.”
    “He’s a kid,” Thomas said, his voice faltering. “He’s just getting ready to turn twenty-one, for Christ’s sake. He’s a fucking kid, and I bailed on him. I left for California and didn’t look back, and now, he’s in some serious shit.”
    “Thomas, listen to me. You’ve got to get this straight in your head. If you don’t believe in the reasons for Travis’s recruitment, he sure as hell isn’t going to.”
    He cupped my hands in both of his. Then, he brought my fingers to his mouth and kissed them. My entire body leaned toward him a fraction of an inch as if by a gravitational pull I couldn’t control. As I watched his lips warm my skin, I felt jealous of my own hands.
    Never had I wanted to defy my own rules so ardently that my conscience was at war in my own head. Not even half of these conflicting emotions had existed the night I decided to leave Jackson. The effect Thomas had on me was wonderful and maddening and terrifying.
    “I remember the guy I met my first night here, the one without the pressure of running a field office or making the tough decision to protect his brother. No matter what you tell yourself, you’re a good person, Thomas.”
    He looked over at me and pulled his hand away from mine, indignant. “I’m no fucking saint. If I told you the story about Camille, you wouldn’t be looking at me like that.”
    “You mentioned that she’s Trent’s girlfriend. I can guess.”
    He shook his head. “It’s worse than you think.”
    “I’d say helping Travis avoid a prison sentence is atonement.”
    “Not even close.” He stood.
    I reached for him but missed. I didn’t want him to leave. I had an entire day and nothing to unpack. Now that Thomas was in my living room, he seemed to fill up the empty space. I was afraid it would feel lonely when he left.
    “We can do this, you know,” I said. “Travis will be free. He can stay home with his new wife, and he’ll have a good job. It’ll all work out.”
    “It’d better. God owes me one, more than one.”
    He wasn’t in my living room. He was miles away from me.
    “We just have to stay focused,” I said. “This has to be the best damn thing either of us has ever pulled off.”
    He nodded, considering my words.
    “And what about Camille?” I asked. “Do you have that handled?”
    Thomas walked toward the door, putting his hand on the knob. “Another time. I think we’ve had enough truth for one day.”
    When the door slammed, my shoulders flew up to my ears, and I closed my eyes. After the few decorations Sawyer had nailed to the walls the night before stopped rattling, I sat back against the couch cushions in a huff. Thomas was supposed to make it easier to hate him, and after what he’d shared with me, it was impossible.
    I wondered who at the Bureau knew about his personal conflicts—with his brother and the Vegas case, and keeping his career from his family—maybe Marks, likely the S.A.C., and definitely the director.
    Thomas had made me his partner on this. For whatever reason, he trusted me, and just as inexplicably, that made me want to work that much harder to wrap up this case.
    Val had said before that Thomas had a loyal circle and to be careful what I said. Now, I was part of that circle, and I was curious if it was because he needed to use my talents like he did Sawyer’s or if it was