little
‘date’…”
Melissa stops me to point out that I just air quoted the
word ‘date’, and then lets me continue my rant.
“He propositioned me!”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa… why didn’t you start with that?” Melissa
sits up straight, now clearly interested.
“Well,” I tease, “if I started there, I wouldn’thave been able to build up to that wonderfully
dramatic moment you just got to experience.”
“Always the writer.” She smiles. “How’s that going by the
way?”
I just shake my head. “I don’t have time to write. I’m too
busy de-fuzzing peaches, mixing black and herbal teas together, and of course,
getting mugged.”
Melissa’s face twitches at my last comment.
“How are you doing with all that, Care Bear?”
“Surprisingly much better.” It’s the actual truth. I hadn’t
even thought about it since I found out Johnny’s new date’s real name was
Georgia. That’s progress. I think.
I’m just not quite sure if it’s the kind of progress I was
hoping for…
“Okay, so now that we covered that, and I completed my best
friend duties,” Melissa slyly smiles, “what did you say to Johnny?”
I unloaded. I told her everything: about how I couldn’t
sleep, about asking him to teach me to fight, and about waking up wrapped in
his arms. She came back with her normal “mmm’s” and “ooo’s” and then came the little
giggles.
“What?” I throw my glare in her direction.
“You like him!”
“Correction: I hate him.”
“Not at all, Care Bear.” She smiles so big that her dimples
cut through her cheeks.
“Just because I think about him in maybe not the most
appropriate manner doesn’t mean I like him.” I just keep shaking my head. I’m
not quite sure why, but for some reason, I think it’ll help prove my point.
“Then, pray tell, what would you say it means?” She’s not
buying it for a second.
I go on to tell her that the pure, unadulterated hatred I
have for the man is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, and the only way my
subconscious is allowing me to deal with that amount of hatred is by forming an
unhealthy attraction. Because I so desperately hate conflict, somewhere, deep
down, I hope that if I can form some sort of physical bond with him, maybe that
hatred will squander away.
I’m impressed with my analysis. Melissa is not.
“Bullshit.”
“What? No!”
So she says it again. “Bullshit.”
I tilt my head to the side as I contemplate sticking out my
tongue at her. “Then what do you think?”
“I think he’s not that bad.”
“Ha!” I laugh out loud. “Not that bad?”
She goes on to say that she thinks I’vehad such a big crush on him for God knows how long
that I built him up in my head. Then, when I realized he had flaws, my entire
world was shattered, so I blew those flaws out of proportion. I tell myself I
hate him only to make the child inside of me accept the fact that my fantasy
will never play out.
“Huh…” Okay, there might be something to this.
Without taking more than a single breath, she warns me that
I have to be careful. “But, to play the devil’s advocate, maybe you might not
have feelings for him.”
“Hold on, what?” She’s making my brain hurt.
“I don’t know.” She scratches her nose. “I’m wondering if
somewhere inside of you, you feel like you have to fall in love with him
because that would be the best ending to your fairy tale. So then you’re
fighting that tiny desire by hating him, but then that hatred is making you see
all the passion there.”
I shake my head. “You suck, you know that?”
Melissa shrugs as she offers me a smile. “Sorry, Care Bear. I
don’t know.”
“Meh.” I haphazardly brush my feet against the ground. “I
don’t know either.”
She lifts her little finger up into the air. “But now you’re
more aware!”
“Or more confused.” I combat. “Why isn’t this easy?”
Melissa takes
‘date’…”
Melissa stops me to point out that I just air quoted the
word ‘date’, and then lets me continue my rant.
“He propositioned me!”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa… why didn’t you start with that?” Melissa
sits up straight, now clearly interested.
“Well,” I tease, “if I started there, I wouldn’thave been able to build up to that wonderfully
dramatic moment you just got to experience.”
“Always the writer.” She smiles. “How’s that going by the
way?”
I just shake my head. “I don’t have time to write. I’m too
busy de-fuzzing peaches, mixing black and herbal teas together, and of course,
getting mugged.”
Melissa’s face twitches at my last comment.
“How are you doing with all that, Care Bear?”
“Surprisingly much better.” It’s the actual truth. I hadn’t
even thought about it since I found out Johnny’s new date’s real name was
Georgia. That’s progress. I think.
I’m just not quite sure if it’s the kind of progress I was
hoping for…
“Okay, so now that we covered that, and I completed my best
friend duties,” Melissa slyly smiles, “what did you say to Johnny?”
I unloaded. I told her everything: about how I couldn’t
sleep, about asking him to teach me to fight, and about waking up wrapped in
his arms. She came back with her normal “mmm’s” and “ooo’s” and then came the little
giggles.
“What?” I throw my glare in her direction.
“You like him!”
“Correction: I hate him.”
“Not at all, Care Bear.” She smiles so big that her dimples
cut through her cheeks.
“Just because I think about him in maybe not the most
appropriate manner doesn’t mean I like him.” I just keep shaking my head. I’m
not quite sure why, but for some reason, I think it’ll help prove my point.
“Then, pray tell, what would you say it means?” She’s not
buying it for a second.
I go on to tell her that the pure, unadulterated hatred I
have for the man is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, and the only way my
subconscious is allowing me to deal with that amount of hatred is by forming an
unhealthy attraction. Because I so desperately hate conflict, somewhere, deep
down, I hope that if I can form some sort of physical bond with him, maybe that
hatred will squander away.
I’m impressed with my analysis. Melissa is not.
“Bullshit.”
“What? No!”
So she says it again. “Bullshit.”
I tilt my head to the side as I contemplate sticking out my
tongue at her. “Then what do you think?”
“I think he’s not that bad.”
“Ha!” I laugh out loud. “Not that bad?”
She goes on to say that she thinks I’vehad such a big crush on him for God knows how long
that I built him up in my head. Then, when I realized he had flaws, my entire
world was shattered, so I blew those flaws out of proportion. I tell myself I
hate him only to make the child inside of me accept the fact that my fantasy
will never play out.
“Huh…” Okay, there might be something to this.
Without taking more than a single breath, she warns me that
I have to be careful. “But, to play the devil’s advocate, maybe you might not
have feelings for him.”
“Hold on, what?” She’s making my brain hurt.
“I don’t know.” She scratches her nose. “I’m wondering if
somewhere inside of you, you feel like you have to fall in love with him
because that would be the best ending to your fairy tale. So then you’re
fighting that tiny desire by hating him, but then that hatred is making you see
all the passion there.”
I shake my head. “You suck, you know that?”
Melissa shrugs as she offers me a smile. “Sorry, Care Bear. I
don’t know.”
“Meh.” I haphazardly brush my feet against the ground. “I
don’t know either.”
She lifts her little finger up into the air. “But now you’re
more aware!”
“Or more confused.” I combat. “Why isn’t this easy?”
Melissa takes
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