Bearly Breathing (Alpha Werebear Shifter Paranormal Romance) by Lynn Red Page B

like it was made out of an old Hawaiian shirt, or a few of them, because of the mismatched patterns.
    Mismatched eyes and constantly-parted lips aside, she wasn’t ugly exactly, but was definitely... well, unique is a good word.
    “Tree...man? Ba-ba-ba-da-haha.”
    Orion took a long, slow, deep breath and considered his options. On the one hand, she knew he was there already, but on the other one, she was eating wood. That seemed like a pretty big red flag.
    “Tree...man! Ba-ra-ah-ah!”
    With speed and agility he had absolutely not expected out of his new friend, Orion watched her dash toward the tree trunk and slam into it with a lowered shoulder. To his surprise, the huge trunk not only shuddered, but the branch he was perched upon trembled.
    She flattened her hands on the bark and dug in her feet. The dress rode up her enormous thighs as she flexed and pushed, making the entire thing creak. Options, Orion thought, were running out quick.
    “Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay!” He called down. “No need to knock this thing over.”
    He hopped to the ground and backed quickly away. “Who are you?” he asked, being as cautious as possible. “Do you have a name?”
    The creature flipped her pigtails and made a kissing gesture toward him. “Sa...ra? Boo-bar!”
    Orion put his hands up, defensively, as the very excited creature walked toward him. He retreated, one step at a time, until his back hit a tree. The small of his back rested against the smooth spot where his new friend had ripped off the bark and taken a taste.
    “Now hold on,” Orion said. “Sara? Is that what you said?”
    “Sa...ra! Sa...ra...ra-ra-ra!” She started giggling, which coming out of that mouth was more disconcerting than giggles normally are. But she was getting close, too, and that was maybe more frightening than her laugh.
    “Okay, all right,” Orion said, laughing nervously and trying to duck out of the way.
    An iron grip caught one of his shoulders, and another grasped his wrist. That was just about the last thing in the universe he expected. He struggled, wrenching his hand one way and then the other, but nothing he did made Sara so much as budge. It was like she was made out of steel, just unmoving, unbending, and drooling all over the ground.
    “What’s that?” he asked, looking past her shoulder, trying for a trick. The giant head turned slowly, looking toward where he pointed, but her hands held fast.
    “Not... fun...ny! Sa-ra-ba-ba-ba-la!”
    Things were getting desperate . Orion tried to shove her backwards, but there was no give. Not even the slightest bend in her arms or her knees. “Okay, Sara,” Orion said, straining as hard as he could. “What... what do you want?”
    “Boy...friend!” she said. “You...pretty? Tree-man. Boyfriend-bo-yo-yo-yo!”
    I doubt I can explain to her that I already found the one and only for me, somehow I don’t think I’d get very far.
    She started pushing back. Slowly, with his feet dug into the ground, Orion found himself moving backwards. He shot a glance at the ground. “Sara!” he said. “Look! A snack!”
    “Huhn?” she grunted, looking in the direction he indicated, but still pushing. “Oooh...”
    “Yeah? Looks pretty good, huh?” He paused to strain again, this time forcing her backward just a little. That juicy, delicious stick had done the trick. Sort of. “I can get it for you so you don’t have to bend down, I can...”
    The tendril of drool running from Sara’s mouth to the ground grew a little heavier in flow. “But... want you!” she announced, stiffening again.
    “You can have me! But let’s share this stick, huh?” Orion said. “How about it? Looks good, huh?”
    Her hand began to release, but only just. As soon as he was able to twist his arm though, Orion used the tiny amount of leverage he could muster to wrench one of his arms free, although the twisting hurt like absolute hell.
    He stooped over, grabbed the stick and hurled it into the forest. Instantly,