Whatever I feel or don’t feel, he’s old and he’s my father.’
Jasper said reasonably, ‘Old people manage perfectly well in hotels.’
‘Why are you being like this?’
Jasper lifted the box of plectrums off his lap and set it on the floor.
‘Suz, I’m not being like anything. But I can’t work out what you want from me. You don’t want me to come to Stoke, you don’t want me to meet Morris, but you do want me to agree with you and support you while you keep changing your mind. If I were you, I’d put Morris in a hotel for now, and then send him back to Lamu with a remittance to keep him there till he pops his useless clogs. But you won’t do that, so I can’t help you.’
Susie stirred in her chair as if she was trying to get comfortable. She said, almost as if Jasper hadn’t spoken, ‘Maybe Ashley’s right. Maybe it
is
the answer.’
Jasper got up, crossed to the bookcase and stood directly below Polynesia. She bent down immediately, crooning and clawing at the painted wood with her gnarled grey talons.
‘Jasper.’
‘Yes.’
‘What do you think of Ashley’s idea?’
He put a hand up so that Polynesia, bending dangerously low, could have her neck feathers ruffled. He said, ‘Suz, I don’t have an opinion.’
‘You must do!’
He turned round, retrieving his hand. He said soberly, ‘You know my opinion. I couldn’t quite get why you needed to buy the Parlour House, but you assured me it was creatively essential and I believed you – I believe you – so I went along with it. Now you tell me that it’s the place to park Morris while you think what to do with him next, and as you don’t want to take my advice about him, I’ll go along with your wishes again. I don’t want to argue with you, I don’t agree,but you’ll have to put up with that. I’ll go along with what you want, but you can’t have agreement as well. You’ll have to reconcile yourself to that.’
Susie looked at the fireplace. Jasper had lit a fire, hours before, and it had now burned down to a soft red glow in a heap of feathery ashes.
She said, ‘I can’t behave other than very well, in the circumstances.’
Jasper came back to his chair and lowered himself into it. He looked across at her. Forty years together and he could still sometimes glimpse the girl in the straw hat wreathed in daisies, even if that girl had never been as blonde as the woman before him now.
He said, ‘Accepted standards say you should do your duty. That means seeing that he is warm and fed and looked after. Well, you’ll do that. You and Grace are doing that already. But circumstances do
not
say that you should behave towards him as if he’d been, to the smallest degree, the kind of father he bloody well should have been.’
‘But I have to live with myself afterwards,’ Susie said unhappily. ‘I have to make a decision that I feel comfortable with.’
Jasper shrugged. ‘I’m not interested in martyrdom.’
‘Nor me.’
‘Nor do I think I can go on with this conversation much longer. I’m revolted by the mere thought of the man, but he’s not my dad, thank the Lord.’ He stood up, slightly stiffly. ‘You decide what to do and I’ll try and live with it.’
Susie looked up at him. ‘Only try?’
‘Yup.’
Jasper went back to the bookcase and looked up at Polynesia. She had now decided that the vase was a friend and was leaning against it, murmuring. He said, ‘I’ll do my best. Like I’ve always done. I’ll do my best to support youin this ridiculous daddy palaver, as I’ve done in everything else. Put him in the Parlour House if you must, but I’d send him packing back to Lamu with enough money to keep him there. Money he’ll forfeit if he tries to get on another plane. That’s what I think, and I’m not changing my mind and I’m not saying it again. And now,’ he said, reaching up to grasp Polynesia’s feet, ‘I’m going to put madam here back in her cage, and then I’m going to
Jasper said reasonably, ‘Old people manage perfectly well in hotels.’
‘Why are you being like this?’
Jasper lifted the box of plectrums off his lap and set it on the floor.
‘Suz, I’m not being like anything. But I can’t work out what you want from me. You don’t want me to come to Stoke, you don’t want me to meet Morris, but you do want me to agree with you and support you while you keep changing your mind. If I were you, I’d put Morris in a hotel for now, and then send him back to Lamu with a remittance to keep him there till he pops his useless clogs. But you won’t do that, so I can’t help you.’
Susie stirred in her chair as if she was trying to get comfortable. She said, almost as if Jasper hadn’t spoken, ‘Maybe Ashley’s right. Maybe it
is
the answer.’
Jasper got up, crossed to the bookcase and stood directly below Polynesia. She bent down immediately, crooning and clawing at the painted wood with her gnarled grey talons.
‘Jasper.’
‘Yes.’
‘What do you think of Ashley’s idea?’
He put a hand up so that Polynesia, bending dangerously low, could have her neck feathers ruffled. He said, ‘Suz, I don’t have an opinion.’
‘You must do!’
He turned round, retrieving his hand. He said soberly, ‘You know my opinion. I couldn’t quite get why you needed to buy the Parlour House, but you assured me it was creatively essential and I believed you – I believe you – so I went along with it. Now you tell me that it’s the place to park Morris while you think what to do with him next, and as you don’t want to take my advice about him, I’ll go along with your wishes again. I don’t want to argue with you, I don’t agree,but you’ll have to put up with that. I’ll go along with what you want, but you can’t have agreement as well. You’ll have to reconcile yourself to that.’
Susie looked at the fireplace. Jasper had lit a fire, hours before, and it had now burned down to a soft red glow in a heap of feathery ashes.
She said, ‘I can’t behave other than very well, in the circumstances.’
Jasper came back to his chair and lowered himself into it. He looked across at her. Forty years together and he could still sometimes glimpse the girl in the straw hat wreathed in daisies, even if that girl had never been as blonde as the woman before him now.
He said, ‘Accepted standards say you should do your duty. That means seeing that he is warm and fed and looked after. Well, you’ll do that. You and Grace are doing that already. But circumstances do
not
say that you should behave towards him as if he’d been, to the smallest degree, the kind of father he bloody well should have been.’
‘But I have to live with myself afterwards,’ Susie said unhappily. ‘I have to make a decision that I feel comfortable with.’
Jasper shrugged. ‘I’m not interested in martyrdom.’
‘Nor me.’
‘Nor do I think I can go on with this conversation much longer. I’m revolted by the mere thought of the man, but he’s not my dad, thank the Lord.’ He stood up, slightly stiffly. ‘You decide what to do and I’ll try and live with it.’
Susie looked up at him. ‘Only try?’
‘Yup.’
Jasper went back to the bookcase and looked up at Polynesia. She had now decided that the vase was a friend and was leaning against it, murmuring. He said, ‘I’ll do my best. Like I’ve always done. I’ll do my best to support youin this ridiculous daddy palaver, as I’ve done in everything else. Put him in the Parlour House if you must, but I’d send him packing back to Lamu with enough money to keep him there. Money he’ll forfeit if he tries to get on another plane. That’s what I think, and I’m not changing my mind and I’m not saying it again. And now,’ he said, reaching up to grasp Polynesia’s feet, ‘I’m going to put madam here back in her cage, and then I’m going to
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