blinks a few more times then drops his gaze to the floor.
“No,” he whispers. “I … can’t.”
“Too personal?”
He nods.
“Too vulnerable?”
He nods again.
“Too … frightening?”
He glares at her. He doesn’t need to answer.
“Sit down, Mr. Holt.”
He strides over to his chair and sits heavily.
“So, would you like to change your opinion that acting is easy and doesn’t require courage?” Erika asks softly.
He swallows hard. “Obviously.”
Erika looks around at the rest of us. “Acting deals with delicate emotions. Finding them within ourselves and letting them out for others to see. But in order to do that, the actor has to be willing to show parts of himself he’s ashamed of. He has to have the courage to give light to every terrifying insecurity and shameful regret. Nothing can be hidden. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not about eliciting a response from the audience. It’s about manifesting something from within yourself and letting the audience witness it.”
She gestures to Holt, who’s looking at the floor and chewing his fingernail.
“What happened to Mr. Holt today will happen to all of you at some point. There’ll be times when you think you can’t portray a character or emotion because it’s too frightening or personal. But it’s your job to find the courage to let others see your vulnerability. That’s what makes a good actor. In Kafka’s wonderful words, you have the power of ‘melting the ice within, of awakening dormant cells, of making us more fully alive, more fully human, at once more individual and more connected to each other.’ That’s why we do what we do.”
Her words resonate with me. I look at Holt. He’s staring at the floor, shoulders slumped. He knows she’s right, and it scares the hell out of him.
“Now,” Erika says as she walks to her desk and picks up a piece of paper, “you all auditioned for our first-year theater production, a little-known play called Romeo and Juliet …” Everyone laughs. “And I’m happy to say that casting has been completed.”
We all sit up straighter as excitement ripples around the room.
I thought my audition went well, and despite my lack of experience, I want this role. So much.
Erika starts by reading out the minor characters. There are murmurs and curses and some squeals of delight, but as we get to the leading roles, the whole room falls silent.
“The role of Tybalt goes to … Lucas.”
Lucas woots loudly and pumps his fist in the air. I can see him playing Tybalt, high as a kite and slightly unhinged.
“Benvolio will be played by … Mr. Avery.”
Jack nods and smugly says, “That’s right. Badass Benvolio in da house.”
There are laughs and cheers.
“The nurse will be played by Miss Sediki.”
There’s a round of applause, and Aiyah looks like she’s going to cry.
She announces Miranda, Troy, Mariska, and Tyler will play the parental Capulets and Montagues. Then it’s time to reveal the lead roles.
My mouth goes dry and my stomach acid churns. I close my eyes as I chant silent entreaties.
Erika clears her throat.
“Our Juliet”— God, please, please, please, please —”is Miss Taylor.”
Yes!
My stomach soars as my heart pounds. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy.
Everyone applauds and my chest feels like it’s going to explode with pride.
I’m Juliet.
Me.
The no one from nowhere with no experience.
Hell, yes!
I glance at Holt. He’s not looking at me, but he’s smiling. Probably thinking “I told you so” and giving himself credit for making me audition.
“Finally,” Erika says, looking around the room, “casting the final two male roles caused a heated discussion among the audition panel, but I think we’ve made the right decision. It’s not an obvious casting choice, but then, sometimes they’re the most interesting.”
Holt sits up in his chair. I know he wants Mercutio. He’s done the role before, and from what I hear, he nailed
“No,” he whispers. “I … can’t.”
“Too personal?”
He nods.
“Too vulnerable?”
He nods again.
“Too … frightening?”
He glares at her. He doesn’t need to answer.
“Sit down, Mr. Holt.”
He strides over to his chair and sits heavily.
“So, would you like to change your opinion that acting is easy and doesn’t require courage?” Erika asks softly.
He swallows hard. “Obviously.”
Erika looks around at the rest of us. “Acting deals with delicate emotions. Finding them within ourselves and letting them out for others to see. But in order to do that, the actor has to be willing to show parts of himself he’s ashamed of. He has to have the courage to give light to every terrifying insecurity and shameful regret. Nothing can be hidden. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not about eliciting a response from the audience. It’s about manifesting something from within yourself and letting the audience witness it.”
She gestures to Holt, who’s looking at the floor and chewing his fingernail.
“What happened to Mr. Holt today will happen to all of you at some point. There’ll be times when you think you can’t portray a character or emotion because it’s too frightening or personal. But it’s your job to find the courage to let others see your vulnerability. That’s what makes a good actor. In Kafka’s wonderful words, you have the power of ‘melting the ice within, of awakening dormant cells, of making us more fully alive, more fully human, at once more individual and more connected to each other.’ That’s why we do what we do.”
Her words resonate with me. I look at Holt. He’s staring at the floor, shoulders slumped. He knows she’s right, and it scares the hell out of him.
“Now,” Erika says as she walks to her desk and picks up a piece of paper, “you all auditioned for our first-year theater production, a little-known play called Romeo and Juliet …” Everyone laughs. “And I’m happy to say that casting has been completed.”
We all sit up straighter as excitement ripples around the room.
I thought my audition went well, and despite my lack of experience, I want this role. So much.
Erika starts by reading out the minor characters. There are murmurs and curses and some squeals of delight, but as we get to the leading roles, the whole room falls silent.
“The role of Tybalt goes to … Lucas.”
Lucas woots loudly and pumps his fist in the air. I can see him playing Tybalt, high as a kite and slightly unhinged.
“Benvolio will be played by … Mr. Avery.”
Jack nods and smugly says, “That’s right. Badass Benvolio in da house.”
There are laughs and cheers.
“The nurse will be played by Miss Sediki.”
There’s a round of applause, and Aiyah looks like she’s going to cry.
She announces Miranda, Troy, Mariska, and Tyler will play the parental Capulets and Montagues. Then it’s time to reveal the lead roles.
My mouth goes dry and my stomach acid churns. I close my eyes as I chant silent entreaties.
Erika clears her throat.
“Our Juliet”— God, please, please, please, please —”is Miss Taylor.”
Yes!
My stomach soars as my heart pounds. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy.
Everyone applauds and my chest feels like it’s going to explode with pride.
I’m Juliet.
Me.
The no one from nowhere with no experience.
Hell, yes!
I glance at Holt. He’s not looking at me, but he’s smiling. Probably thinking “I told you so” and giving himself credit for making me audition.
“Finally,” Erika says, looking around the room, “casting the final two male roles caused a heated discussion among the audition panel, but I think we’ve made the right decision. It’s not an obvious casting choice, but then, sometimes they’re the most interesting.”
Holt sits up in his chair. I know he wants Mercutio. He’s done the role before, and from what I hear, he nailed
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