and nightmare that I may be for her, I’m still preferable to being alone for Lindsay.
“Maybe. Mostly, I don’t like being alone. I like having you there.”
“Aha!” It’s as though she read my thoughts.
“Even if you don’t like me very much.”
“I like you, Lindsay.”
“You like me, except when it comes to your son. You’re just like Jake’s mother. She never liked me, either—said I would break his heart.”
“And from what I can tell, you did.”
“True, but there were extenuating circumstances. And although you may not want to see it, your son is not interested in me. He’s interested in the man he thinks is his father. I just happened to be attached to his history.”
How I wish that were true. My son has the opportunity to do everything right in his life, and I want him to start fresh. Without the baggage I attached to him at birth. “So you wanted to bring me here for breakfast to tell me I should tell my son the truth. Lindsay, I know I should tell my son the truth.”
“So what’s stopping you?”
“I will tell him, of course. I’m waiting for the right time.”
“After he inherits Ron’s house? Is that what you are waiting for? Because the house will not eliminate the problems. He’ll have to get it sold, have an accountant figure out what he owes for taxes on the sale. He’ll have to find a place to invest that kind of money. Nothing comes without a cost of some sort.” Lindsay has the face of an angel and the tongue of a viper.
“That money belongs to Ronnie. You may not understand it, but—”
She clutches the sides of the table until her knuckles are white. “I’m not stupid. Explain it to me, Jane. Explain to me why you can’t tell Ronnie the truth. I’m all ears. I’m rooting for Ronnie. He seems like a man who will spend the money well, but I was married to Ron for ten years. We kept nothing from each other, but now I’m finding out about family I didn’t know existed. It doesn’t add up. You can’t blame me for being curious, can you? I mean, your own son is curious.”
“It was complicated, and obviously Ron thought it best to keep things the way they were: quiet. If he didn’t tell you on his death bed, what makes you think I should share the truth?”
“If you were me, would you really want to remain in the dark, Jane?”
Yes, I would! I want to shout, but I know I wouldn’t have been able to. I would have forced it and made my life all the worse because of my pushing. “That’s not a fair question, since I know the truth and in knowing the truth, I can say it’s a good place to be. The dark, that is.”
She whistles like a teakettle, clearly frustrated she is not going to get Ron’s secret out of me. He couldn’t have trusted her with everything, or he might have told her. Instead, he probably drank away any guilt he’d stored up for decades and protected his princess from the ugly truth.
“I don’t care if you think I’m stupid, Jane. Most people do. Most people think I’m a money-grubbing blonde like all the rest, but I learned early on that while money makes things nice, it doesn’t take away your problems. So if you think making your son a millionaire is going to take away his desire to know the truth about his past, you’re only setting the both of you up for disappointment.” Her pancakes arrive and she pours a healthy portion of, no doubt, some natural version of what non-Californians call syrup.
My eyes feel as watery as the two eggs set before me. I have placed so much in the belief that I could make things better for Ronnie if I only waited the situation out. But darn that girl, she’s given me the speck of doubt that keeps the fear alive in my belly.
“What reason do I have to lie to you, Jane?” She asks as she slathers organic butter over the syrup. “I’m a washed-up trophy wife whose husband is dead. I don’t exactly have a well-laid-out future. What threat do I represent, exactly?”
“I’ve left my
“Maybe. Mostly, I don’t like being alone. I like having you there.”
“Aha!” It’s as though she read my thoughts.
“Even if you don’t like me very much.”
“I like you, Lindsay.”
“You like me, except when it comes to your son. You’re just like Jake’s mother. She never liked me, either—said I would break his heart.”
“And from what I can tell, you did.”
“True, but there were extenuating circumstances. And although you may not want to see it, your son is not interested in me. He’s interested in the man he thinks is his father. I just happened to be attached to his history.”
How I wish that were true. My son has the opportunity to do everything right in his life, and I want him to start fresh. Without the baggage I attached to him at birth. “So you wanted to bring me here for breakfast to tell me I should tell my son the truth. Lindsay, I know I should tell my son the truth.”
“So what’s stopping you?”
“I will tell him, of course. I’m waiting for the right time.”
“After he inherits Ron’s house? Is that what you are waiting for? Because the house will not eliminate the problems. He’ll have to get it sold, have an accountant figure out what he owes for taxes on the sale. He’ll have to find a place to invest that kind of money. Nothing comes without a cost of some sort.” Lindsay has the face of an angel and the tongue of a viper.
“That money belongs to Ronnie. You may not understand it, but—”
She clutches the sides of the table until her knuckles are white. “I’m not stupid. Explain it to me, Jane. Explain to me why you can’t tell Ronnie the truth. I’m all ears. I’m rooting for Ronnie. He seems like a man who will spend the money well, but I was married to Ron for ten years. We kept nothing from each other, but now I’m finding out about family I didn’t know existed. It doesn’t add up. You can’t blame me for being curious, can you? I mean, your own son is curious.”
“It was complicated, and obviously Ron thought it best to keep things the way they were: quiet. If he didn’t tell you on his death bed, what makes you think I should share the truth?”
“If you were me, would you really want to remain in the dark, Jane?”
Yes, I would! I want to shout, but I know I wouldn’t have been able to. I would have forced it and made my life all the worse because of my pushing. “That’s not a fair question, since I know the truth and in knowing the truth, I can say it’s a good place to be. The dark, that is.”
She whistles like a teakettle, clearly frustrated she is not going to get Ron’s secret out of me. He couldn’t have trusted her with everything, or he might have told her. Instead, he probably drank away any guilt he’d stored up for decades and protected his princess from the ugly truth.
“I don’t care if you think I’m stupid, Jane. Most people do. Most people think I’m a money-grubbing blonde like all the rest, but I learned early on that while money makes things nice, it doesn’t take away your problems. So if you think making your son a millionaire is going to take away his desire to know the truth about his past, you’re only setting the both of you up for disappointment.” Her pancakes arrive and she pours a healthy portion of, no doubt, some natural version of what non-Californians call syrup.
My eyes feel as watery as the two eggs set before me. I have placed so much in the belief that I could make things better for Ronnie if I only waited the situation out. But darn that girl, she’s given me the speck of doubt that keeps the fear alive in my belly.
“What reason do I have to lie to you, Jane?” She asks as she slathers organic butter over the syrup. “I’m a washed-up trophy wife whose husband is dead. I don’t exactly have a well-laid-out future. What threat do I represent, exactly?”
“I’ve left my
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