of my back when he gets the door. But when the wind catches my blouse, I’m convinced I’m only imagining it.
By the time we reach his apartment, my feet ache, the heels cutting into my flesh, but my heart is pounding so fast, I hardly notice. The realization that I had a great evening with Derek slams into me as I watch him punch his code to unlock the door.
For the first time in a long time, I was able to focus on something other than my despondent situation.
But none of that matters. I’m not looking for a place to hang my heart, and I’m sure as hell not looking to give it away anytime soon. Besides, the idea of being with someone is always better than the reality .
Derek pushes the door open and ushers me through. He steps out of his dress shoes and leaves them neatly on a navy blue rug in the entrance. Based on the afternoon I spent alone in his place, I can tell he likes his things a certain way. I’m almost positive he’d notice if I put the salt and pepper back in the cupboard in the wrong order or if the magazines on his coffee table were shuffled.
We stand in the entryway like two awkward teenagers attempting to wrap up a first date. Laughing through our noses. Intermittent eye contact. A fake yawn.
“Thanks for showing me around tonight,” I say.
“I just want you to feel comfortable. I know you’re out of your element here.”
“Do you give all your clients the VIP treatment? Or just me?” I’m half-joking, half-not. I want his answer more than I can admit out loud.
“No. Just you.” He doesn’t hesitate, but his benign expression fades into seriousness as our eyes lock.
“Why me?” My voice breaks. My stare doesn’t.
“I don’t know.” He glances to the side.
“Come on.” I laugh, my head falling to the side. “You can do better than that. Why are you so good to me? I wasn’t the nicest to you those first couple of days. You must think I’m spoiled and completely delusional. I don’t imagine there’s much you find appealing about me. So why do this? Why take me in?”
My father’s words echo in my mind. My entire life, he convinced me that any man with “less than us” would only ever love me for my money. And I can just imagine Eudora if she saw us right now. Steaming mad. Foot-stomping mad. She’d give me an earful and tell me he has something up his sleeve.
“Kindness doesn’t always require ulterior motives, Serena. At least not where I come from.” His mouth hardens, and I concentrate on the dark lashes framing his even darker eyes. He has pretty eyes, especially for a man. Maybe that’s what makes him seem so nonthreatening and trustworthy. “I was enlisted to protect your estate, but I can’t, in good faith, leave you there when I’ve witnessed the way those people treat you.”
“I’m a big girl, Derek. You could have left me there. And you didn’t. I’m just wondering why.” I shrug, like my question is no big deal. But it is.
“It’s just the way I was raised. If you see someone in trouble, you help them.” The center of his cheek hollows, and his hands rest at his narrow hips.
“Right, but I’m the first client you’ve invited to come live with you. That kind of takes helping to a whole new level, don’t you think?”
Somehow, the space between us has tightened. I’m not sure if he moved my way or I moved his, but here we are, sharing air, breathing each other in. My heart hammers in my chest, and my eyes are locked hard on his.
“What do you want me to say?” He shakes his head. He’s annoyed with me. He doesn’t like where this conversation is headed.
“What happened to no bullshit between us?” I slip a hand on my hip. “Your words.”
“There’s no bullshit between us.”
“But you’re not being honest with me. You’re walling yourself off.”
“Because you’re fishing for answers to questions that I couldn’t possibly give you right now.”
“And why is that?”
“They’re answers I don’t
By the time we reach his apartment, my feet ache, the heels cutting into my flesh, but my heart is pounding so fast, I hardly notice. The realization that I had a great evening with Derek slams into me as I watch him punch his code to unlock the door.
For the first time in a long time, I was able to focus on something other than my despondent situation.
But none of that matters. I’m not looking for a place to hang my heart, and I’m sure as hell not looking to give it away anytime soon. Besides, the idea of being with someone is always better than the reality .
Derek pushes the door open and ushers me through. He steps out of his dress shoes and leaves them neatly on a navy blue rug in the entrance. Based on the afternoon I spent alone in his place, I can tell he likes his things a certain way. I’m almost positive he’d notice if I put the salt and pepper back in the cupboard in the wrong order or if the magazines on his coffee table were shuffled.
We stand in the entryway like two awkward teenagers attempting to wrap up a first date. Laughing through our noses. Intermittent eye contact. A fake yawn.
“Thanks for showing me around tonight,” I say.
“I just want you to feel comfortable. I know you’re out of your element here.”
“Do you give all your clients the VIP treatment? Or just me?” I’m half-joking, half-not. I want his answer more than I can admit out loud.
“No. Just you.” He doesn’t hesitate, but his benign expression fades into seriousness as our eyes lock.
“Why me?” My voice breaks. My stare doesn’t.
“I don’t know.” He glances to the side.
“Come on.” I laugh, my head falling to the side. “You can do better than that. Why are you so good to me? I wasn’t the nicest to you those first couple of days. You must think I’m spoiled and completely delusional. I don’t imagine there’s much you find appealing about me. So why do this? Why take me in?”
My father’s words echo in my mind. My entire life, he convinced me that any man with “less than us” would only ever love me for my money. And I can just imagine Eudora if she saw us right now. Steaming mad. Foot-stomping mad. She’d give me an earful and tell me he has something up his sleeve.
“Kindness doesn’t always require ulterior motives, Serena. At least not where I come from.” His mouth hardens, and I concentrate on the dark lashes framing his even darker eyes. He has pretty eyes, especially for a man. Maybe that’s what makes him seem so nonthreatening and trustworthy. “I was enlisted to protect your estate, but I can’t, in good faith, leave you there when I’ve witnessed the way those people treat you.”
“I’m a big girl, Derek. You could have left me there. And you didn’t. I’m just wondering why.” I shrug, like my question is no big deal. But it is.
“It’s just the way I was raised. If you see someone in trouble, you help them.” The center of his cheek hollows, and his hands rest at his narrow hips.
“Right, but I’m the first client you’ve invited to come live with you. That kind of takes helping to a whole new level, don’t you think?”
Somehow, the space between us has tightened. I’m not sure if he moved my way or I moved his, but here we are, sharing air, breathing each other in. My heart hammers in my chest, and my eyes are locked hard on his.
“What do you want me to say?” He shakes his head. He’s annoyed with me. He doesn’t like where this conversation is headed.
“What happened to no bullshit between us?” I slip a hand on my hip. “Your words.”
“There’s no bullshit between us.”
“But you’re not being honest with me. You’re walling yourself off.”
“Because you’re fishing for answers to questions that I couldn’t possibly give you right now.”
“And why is that?”
“They’re answers I don’t
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