this with my eyes shut.”
“I don’t think you’re wrong. It’s going to be hard. Don’t fool yourself about that. But you’re a good mother, and if he’s still drinking and driving or whatever, getting proof of that will go a long way to making sure you get primary custody.”
She stood, took a long step, and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and immediately moved away. “Don’t worry,” she said, grinning. “You didn’t kiss me. No violation of your professional ethics.”
Lock laughed. He rubbed his cheek and said, “There. No evidence. You know, I’ve been thinking about your comment a couple of weeks ago about Edwina and how you hate her name. First of all, it’s not that bad, I kind of like it. And second, Eddie is a great nickname. And maybe she’ll like it. And if she doesn’t, when she’s older, she can change it. Here’s something I never told you. I changed my name when I was twenty.”
“Changed it to Lochlan?” Natalie asked. “From what? Elmer?”
“I didn’t change my first name,” he said. “I changed my last name. From Hauptmann. I’d never change my first name—my mom gave it to me. But my father and I didn’t get along at all. He was a bad drunk and he was mean. I wanted nothing to do with him. I definitely didn’t want to share a name with him. Then, after years of my father’s abuse and neglect, my mother died. Her kidneys quit on her. Kilkenny’s a county in Ireland. I altered the spelling to make the name unique and went to court and changed my last name to Gilkenney. My mom always said she wanted to be buried in Ireland, and when she was thirty-nine, she got her wish.”
“That’s sad.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know what made me think of that. I guess what I’m trying to say is that maybe Edwina isn’t the name you wanted, but she’ll like it, or she can change it to something she does like. Names are powerful things. Maybe the Edwina she’ll experience herself as will be different from the one Witt wanted. It’s like...” He looked out the back window. “Like the tree in the yard. I thought it was a sempervirens redwood and I was confused. I couldn’t figure out how one could live in such a cold place. But it turned out to be the Chinese variant, and then suddenly it made sense.”
“I get it,” Natalie said. “Maybe you’re right. And it’s not just Witt, either. Maybe Edwina will turn into an Edwina different from the one I want or know. Someone even more special.”
“I’m sure she’ll be more special than either of us can imagine.”
Natalie said, “So you have no parents, but you’re in the making-parents-behave business.”
Lock nodded. “I can’t make people do the right thing, but I can try to stop them from doing the wrong thing, and I can help make children safer. And that’s what I do. That’s my life.”
Natalie got up and moved to her original spot next to Lock. She draped her arm around his shoulders.
He cocked his head and said, “Still just talking, right?”
“Of course. You know, Gilkenney, the more I learn about you, the more I want you in my life,” she said. “You’ve got a big heart, and there’s a lot more thinking going on in there than you let on.” She tapped a finger on his temple.
“Thank you. Sometimes I worry I think too much, spend too much time in my head. Here’s a thought you won’t like—maybe I can get this case reassigned to another investigator so that—”
“Oh my God, don’t do that,” she said.
“Hear me out,” he said. “That would reduce the risk of our friendship compromising your case. And then, once your divorce is final, we could do whatever we wanted and know that we put your girls first.”
“I appreciate it,” she said, “I really do, but the girls are crazy about you. They’re just like their mother. It’s selfish, probably, but I don’t want some stranger trying to figure out what’s going on here. I’m sure your colleagues are competent, but
“I don’t think you’re wrong. It’s going to be hard. Don’t fool yourself about that. But you’re a good mother, and if he’s still drinking and driving or whatever, getting proof of that will go a long way to making sure you get primary custody.”
She stood, took a long step, and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and immediately moved away. “Don’t worry,” she said, grinning. “You didn’t kiss me. No violation of your professional ethics.”
Lock laughed. He rubbed his cheek and said, “There. No evidence. You know, I’ve been thinking about your comment a couple of weeks ago about Edwina and how you hate her name. First of all, it’s not that bad, I kind of like it. And second, Eddie is a great nickname. And maybe she’ll like it. And if she doesn’t, when she’s older, she can change it. Here’s something I never told you. I changed my name when I was twenty.”
“Changed it to Lochlan?” Natalie asked. “From what? Elmer?”
“I didn’t change my first name,” he said. “I changed my last name. From Hauptmann. I’d never change my first name—my mom gave it to me. But my father and I didn’t get along at all. He was a bad drunk and he was mean. I wanted nothing to do with him. I definitely didn’t want to share a name with him. Then, after years of my father’s abuse and neglect, my mother died. Her kidneys quit on her. Kilkenny’s a county in Ireland. I altered the spelling to make the name unique and went to court and changed my last name to Gilkenney. My mom always said she wanted to be buried in Ireland, and when she was thirty-nine, she got her wish.”
“That’s sad.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know what made me think of that. I guess what I’m trying to say is that maybe Edwina isn’t the name you wanted, but she’ll like it, or she can change it to something she does like. Names are powerful things. Maybe the Edwina she’ll experience herself as will be different from the one Witt wanted. It’s like...” He looked out the back window. “Like the tree in the yard. I thought it was a sempervirens redwood and I was confused. I couldn’t figure out how one could live in such a cold place. But it turned out to be the Chinese variant, and then suddenly it made sense.”
“I get it,” Natalie said. “Maybe you’re right. And it’s not just Witt, either. Maybe Edwina will turn into an Edwina different from the one I want or know. Someone even more special.”
“I’m sure she’ll be more special than either of us can imagine.”
Natalie said, “So you have no parents, but you’re in the making-parents-behave business.”
Lock nodded. “I can’t make people do the right thing, but I can try to stop them from doing the wrong thing, and I can help make children safer. And that’s what I do. That’s my life.”
Natalie got up and moved to her original spot next to Lock. She draped her arm around his shoulders.
He cocked his head and said, “Still just talking, right?”
“Of course. You know, Gilkenney, the more I learn about you, the more I want you in my life,” she said. “You’ve got a big heart, and there’s a lot more thinking going on in there than you let on.” She tapped a finger on his temple.
“Thank you. Sometimes I worry I think too much, spend too much time in my head. Here’s a thought you won’t like—maybe I can get this case reassigned to another investigator so that—”
“Oh my God, don’t do that,” she said.
“Hear me out,” he said. “That would reduce the risk of our friendship compromising your case. And then, once your divorce is final, we could do whatever we wanted and know that we put your girls first.”
“I appreciate it,” she said, “I really do, but the girls are crazy about you. They’re just like their mother. It’s selfish, probably, but I don’t want some stranger trying to figure out what’s going on here. I’m sure your colleagues are competent, but
Similar Books
