and then lets it go, “The other day when I saw Christopher and Maddie kissing, I felt something. I can’t put it in words, but I thought maybe I was like you. I thought I could get turned on if I watched.”
“Is it just with Christopher and Maddie, or do you think it would work if you watched porn?”
He shakes his head adamantly. “Not porn, that would be the same as watching a slave being fucked.” His harsh words make me cringe a little. It’s seldom Jack talks like that and I don’t like it. It’s bitter and hateful and I don’t want him to feel those feelings. “Christopher and Maddie have something and it shows when they’re together,” he murmurs.
“They love each other, Jack. That’s the difference,” I finally get what he’s trying to figure out. Jack has never seen love! My heart reaches out to this beautiful man who has suffered so much.
His eyes meet mine and I can see the look of wonder blossoming on his face. “Love,” he whispers, “so that’s what it looks like?”
I smile and nod. “Yeah, Jack. But there are all kinds of love. Christopher and Maddie love each other the way a couple would. Miss Ella loves us all as if we were her children. I love Adam, because he’s my best friend.”
“Do you love me?” His question is so innocent that it tugs at my heartstrings.
“Yes, Jack. I love you.”
“Like you love Adam?”
Jack is the most inquisitive person ever! Heat creeps up my neck as I whisper, “No, not like I love Adam. I love every person in my life differently. I love our nights together and the time we spend on lessons. I love watching you work and seeing you find yourself. I just love you, Jack. There’s no category for you because you’re special to me.”
His hand comes to my cheek and he gently brushes the tips of his fingers down to the line of my jaw.
Tiny tingles jump from his fingers to my skin, making me highly aware of his body.
Jack leans into me and then his lips are on mine. At first I’m too shocked to stop him. Then the kiss grows more intense. He must have learned a lot from watching Christopher and Maddie, because he’s not kissing like it’s his first time.
Jack covers me with his body and I feel him grow hard against my thigh. I quickly yank away and then scramble out from under him. I fall off the bed, but quickly get up. My hands flutter everywhere, straightening my clothes.
Jack sits on the bed looking confused. Well, that makes two of us. I touch my fingertips to my lips, still stunned by what just happened.
Jack looks down at his tented boxers and his confusion quickly turns to wonder.
“That can never happen again!” I walk to the door but before I leave I whisper, “I think it’s better if you sleep in your own bed from now on.”
Jack is still too raw to know any better. I should have seen it coming! I’m such a fool.
I walk out onto the patio and lean against the wooden railing. I stare blankly into the night trying to gather my confused thoughts.
“What’s nipping at your heals?” Adam suddenly says from the dark corner.
I go to where he is and sit down. “Jack kissed me.”
“And that’s bad?”
“Yes, it’s bad! He’s still healing. I don’t want to take advantage of him.”
“How are you taking advantage of him if he kissed you?”
“He doesn’t know any better and I do.”
“So if I were to kiss Sophia that would be wrong?”
I glance at him, worried where he’s going with this conversation. “Are you telling me or asking me, Adam.”
He sighs heavily and then says, “I suppose I’m asking you.”
“I don’t know.” My whole body slumps back against the chair. “Honestly, I don’t know. You and Sophia are a different story. Sophia is different from Jack. I’m different from you.”
“That’s not an answer, River!”
“Because, there is no right answer!” I jump up again, feeling antsy.
“There is always an answer, it just might not be what you want to hear,” Adams says in a
“Is it just with Christopher and Maddie, or do you think it would work if you watched porn?”
He shakes his head adamantly. “Not porn, that would be the same as watching a slave being fucked.” His harsh words make me cringe a little. It’s seldom Jack talks like that and I don’t like it. It’s bitter and hateful and I don’t want him to feel those feelings. “Christopher and Maddie have something and it shows when they’re together,” he murmurs.
“They love each other, Jack. That’s the difference,” I finally get what he’s trying to figure out. Jack has never seen love! My heart reaches out to this beautiful man who has suffered so much.
His eyes meet mine and I can see the look of wonder blossoming on his face. “Love,” he whispers, “so that’s what it looks like?”
I smile and nod. “Yeah, Jack. But there are all kinds of love. Christopher and Maddie love each other the way a couple would. Miss Ella loves us all as if we were her children. I love Adam, because he’s my best friend.”
“Do you love me?” His question is so innocent that it tugs at my heartstrings.
“Yes, Jack. I love you.”
“Like you love Adam?”
Jack is the most inquisitive person ever! Heat creeps up my neck as I whisper, “No, not like I love Adam. I love every person in my life differently. I love our nights together and the time we spend on lessons. I love watching you work and seeing you find yourself. I just love you, Jack. There’s no category for you because you’re special to me.”
His hand comes to my cheek and he gently brushes the tips of his fingers down to the line of my jaw.
Tiny tingles jump from his fingers to my skin, making me highly aware of his body.
Jack leans into me and then his lips are on mine. At first I’m too shocked to stop him. Then the kiss grows more intense. He must have learned a lot from watching Christopher and Maddie, because he’s not kissing like it’s his first time.
Jack covers me with his body and I feel him grow hard against my thigh. I quickly yank away and then scramble out from under him. I fall off the bed, but quickly get up. My hands flutter everywhere, straightening my clothes.
Jack sits on the bed looking confused. Well, that makes two of us. I touch my fingertips to my lips, still stunned by what just happened.
Jack looks down at his tented boxers and his confusion quickly turns to wonder.
“That can never happen again!” I walk to the door but before I leave I whisper, “I think it’s better if you sleep in your own bed from now on.”
Jack is still too raw to know any better. I should have seen it coming! I’m such a fool.
I walk out onto the patio and lean against the wooden railing. I stare blankly into the night trying to gather my confused thoughts.
“What’s nipping at your heals?” Adam suddenly says from the dark corner.
I go to where he is and sit down. “Jack kissed me.”
“And that’s bad?”
“Yes, it’s bad! He’s still healing. I don’t want to take advantage of him.”
“How are you taking advantage of him if he kissed you?”
“He doesn’t know any better and I do.”
“So if I were to kiss Sophia that would be wrong?”
I glance at him, worried where he’s going with this conversation. “Are you telling me or asking me, Adam.”
He sighs heavily and then says, “I suppose I’m asking you.”
“I don’t know.” My whole body slumps back against the chair. “Honestly, I don’t know. You and Sophia are a different story. Sophia is different from Jack. I’m different from you.”
“That’s not an answer, River!”
“Because, there is no right answer!” I jump up again, feeling antsy.
“There is always an answer, it just might not be what you want to hear,” Adams says in a
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