Away by Megan Linski Page A

checking that my internal organs were okay for a few more weeks. If something showed up they didn’t catch they wanted to be able to stop the bleeding. I didn’t see why it mattered. The most important organ in my chest had already died.
    I hand the nurse my paperwork and sit down in the waiting room, looking at the elderly couple holding hands across from me. Tears well up in my eyes. The nurse calls out a name and the old man takes forever to get up, not letting go of her hand. “Come on baby. We’ll go together.”
    “Okay.” The old woman croaks out a feeble response, smiling. Inwardly I fall apart as I watch them hobble away. That could’ve been Noah and I in fifty or so years. But we also could’ve fallen apart long beforehand, and that’s what I was preventing. It was less painful this way.
    Doesn’t feel like it. You made a terrible mistake, my mind hisses. I shove the thought down. I did what I had to do. Noah and I were over, and it was time to move on. Day one.
    When my name is called they give me a gown and a room to change. As I remove my clothes and look in the mirror, I wince. My side is bandaged up, bruises all over. I’ve lost so much weight. There’s nothing left but bones. Seeing my broken body reminds me of how I got the flu one time, and Noah came over when my hair was a mess and I smelled like puke. Probably looked like it too. He cleaned me up and said I looked beautiful. Noah always said I looked beautiful, no matter how shitty I looked. Unable to handle it, I shove my face in my hands and start to cry uncontrollably. I want him back, my heart moans.
    “Miss McGowan? Are you alright in there?” the nurse’s voice asks.
    Get yourself together. The real world is waiting for you out there. No time for sentimental bullcrap. I clear my throat and squeak out a casual, “I’m fine.” I walk out of the room and follow her to the table, laying down gently upon it. I feel so sick, and not in my body.
    “This won’t take long,” the nurse promises as I lay down on the table. “Try to relax.”
    I don’t know what the word means, but I might as well be a corpse for all I move.
    “Looks good,” she says, moving the remote over me. “Nothing appears to be wrong...” She pauses, squinting at the screen.
    “What?” I ask, heart clenching. The last thing I need is an emergency operation.
    She moves the remote over my abdomen, looking closer. Then a broad smile spreads across her face. “Well congratulations Miss Rosemary. I didn’t know.”
    “Didn’t know what?” I ask, completely confused.
    “You see that small mass over there?” She asks, pointing. “That’s your...”
    The rest of her words are lost as my ears fill with static. No. It’s impossible. I can’t be...yet there it was, curled up inside me like some alien creature.
    Not listening, I get up immediately from the table and run to the dressing room, grabbing my clothes and throwing them on. My face is completely pale. I look at my stomach and realize that there’s someone else in there. Someone I want out. I just want to be me. I don’t want to be pregnant, and how can I be? The nurse must’ve made a mistake. We had used a condom. Had it somehow broke? We didn’t check...
    Losing my mind, I dart out the hospital doors and out into the sunshine, sliding into my car and flooring it.
    I swallow. It isn’t true. Noah and I had only had sex once. He never would’ve done it if I hadn’t of used the kidnapping against him, told him it might make me feel better...Noah...I felt dizzy at the thought of him, and a car honked at me on the highway as I swerved dangerously in front of it. We were done. There was no way in hell he could find out I was pregnant with his baby.
    I just barely make visiting hours for the state penitentiary. “Jack McGowan,” I state immediately to the guard, looking directly at him from behind his desk.
    “I can’t let you see him unless you’re a relative,” he says, looking up from his