the small portable speaker in
front of me, I am transfixed by the indisputable love she projects as she sings
them. I could sit here forever and listen to her heartfelt words to our
son—it’s so mesmerizing.
“Excuse me, Alexis. Sorry, am I interrupting you?” Jessica
says, her voice also now sounding through the speaker.
I go to switch the baby monitor off but pause with my hand
on the button, not being able to bring myself to do it. It’s my excessive
curiosity and basically having to know every single detail which prevents me
from doing so. Instead—as my conscience goes to war with itself—I sit and
continue to listen.
“No, that’s alright. I’m just settling him for sleep,”
Alexis informs.
There’s a pause for a moment and I hear some muffled sounds.
“Oh, goodness, he is just a perfect little angel,” Jessica
coos.
“Isn’t he just? Here would you like a cuddle?”
“Do you not want to put him down to sleep?”
“It’s fine. He basically lives in Bryce’s arms, so he’s used
to it.”
“Well, in that case, I’d love to.”
There’s another pause in discussion and some more muffled
sounds.
“My, oh my, does he look like his father.”
I hear Alexis giggle. “Yes, he sure does.”
This statement has me grinning from ear to ear when my phone
rings. Annoyed by the interruption, I buzz Abigail. “Abigail, can you please
hold all my calls until further notice.”
“Certainly, Mr. Clark,” she responds, the ringing ceasing
immediately.
“Thank you.”
I hang up and continue to listen to the monitor.
“So how’s everything going? Is he feeding well? Are you
getting enough sleep?” Jessica asks.
“Now, Jessica...you wouldn’t be here to find out if I’m
suffering postnatal depression at all would you?” Alexis asks with a playful
tone to her voice.
Jessica laughs and it has me a little perplexed. That is
exactly why she is here.
“No, Alexis. Well, that is why Bryce asked me here. But no,
I just wanted to see your handsome and incredibly adorable little son.” Traitor!
Fucking traitor!
I’m just about to get up from my desk and march upstairs to
demand she put her skills—that I pay her considerably for—to use when she
continues speaking.
“...However, seeing as I am here, and seeing how you are
clearly not suffering from postnatal depression, do you want to tell me why
Bryce is so concerned? Obviously you have given him reason to be.”
Clever woman, why did I doubt her?
“It’s my own insecurities, Jessica,” Alexis sighs. “I’ll get
over them.”
“Insecurities about what? You look great. You’re healthy,
you’re—“
“I look great? Pfft, I have a long way to go to get back to
the weight I was happy with. The weight I was when I met Bryce.”
She has a long way to go? Fucking bullshit! She looks as
stunning as ever.
“Alexis, I’m not going to stand here and tell you that these
insecurities about your post-baby body are ridiculous, because they are not.
Nearly every mother to have just given birth feels this way, it’s quite normal.
What I will say though, is give yourself a break. You will get back to the weight
you want to be, in time.”
“I may not have time,” Alexis mumbles so softly that I can
barely hear.
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing, it’s nothing. Look, I know I will never be a
skinny supermodel and I never want to be. I was happy with my curves and being a
size twelve. After all, I am 37 years of age and a mother of three. It’s
just...I want to get back to that weight as soon as possible. I don’t want to
risk—“
Alexis cuts herself off.
“You don’t want to risk what, Alexis?”
Leaning in closer to the monitor, I strain to hear what she
is so worried about.
“I don’t want to risk losing Bryce,” she says sadly.
What. The. Fuck? Lose me? Why would she lose me? She will
NEVER lose me? With my heart hammering in my chest, confusion plagues me as
to why she would feel this way. As far as I am aware, I
front of me, I am transfixed by the indisputable love she projects as she sings
them. I could sit here forever and listen to her heartfelt words to our
son—it’s so mesmerizing.
“Excuse me, Alexis. Sorry, am I interrupting you?” Jessica
says, her voice also now sounding through the speaker.
I go to switch the baby monitor off but pause with my hand
on the button, not being able to bring myself to do it. It’s my excessive
curiosity and basically having to know every single detail which prevents me
from doing so. Instead—as my conscience goes to war with itself—I sit and
continue to listen.
“No, that’s alright. I’m just settling him for sleep,”
Alexis informs.
There’s a pause for a moment and I hear some muffled sounds.
“Oh, goodness, he is just a perfect little angel,” Jessica
coos.
“Isn’t he just? Here would you like a cuddle?”
“Do you not want to put him down to sleep?”
“It’s fine. He basically lives in Bryce’s arms, so he’s used
to it.”
“Well, in that case, I’d love to.”
There’s another pause in discussion and some more muffled
sounds.
“My, oh my, does he look like his father.”
I hear Alexis giggle. “Yes, he sure does.”
This statement has me grinning from ear to ear when my phone
rings. Annoyed by the interruption, I buzz Abigail. “Abigail, can you please
hold all my calls until further notice.”
“Certainly, Mr. Clark,” she responds, the ringing ceasing
immediately.
“Thank you.”
I hang up and continue to listen to the monitor.
“So how’s everything going? Is he feeding well? Are you
getting enough sleep?” Jessica asks.
“Now, Jessica...you wouldn’t be here to find out if I’m
suffering postnatal depression at all would you?” Alexis asks with a playful
tone to her voice.
Jessica laughs and it has me a little perplexed. That is
exactly why she is here.
“No, Alexis. Well, that is why Bryce asked me here. But no,
I just wanted to see your handsome and incredibly adorable little son.” Traitor!
Fucking traitor!
I’m just about to get up from my desk and march upstairs to
demand she put her skills—that I pay her considerably for—to use when she
continues speaking.
“...However, seeing as I am here, and seeing how you are
clearly not suffering from postnatal depression, do you want to tell me why
Bryce is so concerned? Obviously you have given him reason to be.”
Clever woman, why did I doubt her?
“It’s my own insecurities, Jessica,” Alexis sighs. “I’ll get
over them.”
“Insecurities about what? You look great. You’re healthy,
you’re—“
“I look great? Pfft, I have a long way to go to get back to
the weight I was happy with. The weight I was when I met Bryce.”
She has a long way to go? Fucking bullshit! She looks as
stunning as ever.
“Alexis, I’m not going to stand here and tell you that these
insecurities about your post-baby body are ridiculous, because they are not.
Nearly every mother to have just given birth feels this way, it’s quite normal.
What I will say though, is give yourself a break. You will get back to the weight
you want to be, in time.”
“I may not have time,” Alexis mumbles so softly that I can
barely hear.
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing, it’s nothing. Look, I know I will never be a
skinny supermodel and I never want to be. I was happy with my curves and being a
size twelve. After all, I am 37 years of age and a mother of three. It’s
just...I want to get back to that weight as soon as possible. I don’t want to
risk—“
Alexis cuts herself off.
“You don’t want to risk what, Alexis?”
Leaning in closer to the monitor, I strain to hear what she
is so worried about.
“I don’t want to risk losing Bryce,” she says sadly.
What. The. Fuck? Lose me? Why would she lose me? She will
NEVER lose me? With my heart hammering in my chest, confusion plagues me as
to why she would feel this way. As far as I am aware, I
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