Ben does it. He looks cute in his shin guards and shorts with little beads of sweat coming off his forehead. For a second, I imagine what’s under the shorts. He said he wears boxers.
“Aspen,” Ben says. That’s when I realize I’m staring at his crotch.
“Yes.” My eyes snap to his face.
“I slept through class like three times this week, and we have a test on Monday,” he says, panting, arms stretched up to the sky. “Will you study with me?” When he notices Kim raising her eyebrows at him, he qualifies, “Because we’re lab partners.”
“I don’t know. You’re not really keeping up your end of the bargain.”
“Please, I’m begging you. If I fail physics, I’ll lose my scholarship.” Ben grabs my hand. I steal another glance at his shorts.
“Let go of her hand,” Kim says, annoyed. We both look at her, our hands dropping to our sides.
I choke and squeal out, “Can you come to my house?”
“I’ll go wherever you want me to go.”
“When do you want to shop?” I ask Kim.
“Sunday. Kim Jong Uma’s got me on lockdown tomorrow. College prep.”
“Tomorrow then.”
Ben nods. “I promise, I won’t sleep as much.” He walks away, and I go to get into the car, but Kim doesn’t move. She just stands there, arms across her chest.
“What the fuck?” she says.
“What?”
“What the hell was that?”
“Ben asked me to study with him.”
“You say that like it’s normal for Ben Tyler to do that.” Kim says the words in a flat tone. I can’t tell if she’s happy or sad or mad. “Something’s going on.”
“Whatever, Jasmine.” I get in my car, and turn up the radio. Kim slides into the passenger seat. We don’t say a word as I take her home.
The next morning, Ninny and I sit at the dining room table, eating cereal. I had to endure another evening with Uncle Toaster and his smacking lips while he ate the mushroom ravioli that I cooked. At one point I asked him if he was a cow. He looked at me, confused, and said, “No, why would I be a cow?”
“You sure do like grass.” I pointed at his bloodshot eyes. “And you smack your lips like you were raised in a barn.”
At that point, Ninny sent me to my room. I didn’t mind. I had a pounding headache anyway. I fell asleep for a few hours here and there, until the sun came up.
I poke at my cereal with my spoon. “Do you love Toaster?” I ask Ninny.
“I dunno. Define it.”
“Love: an intense feeling of deep affection or romantic sexual attachment.”
Ninny scratches her head. “The second part, but minus the romance. I love the way he loves on me.”
“That’s gross.” I plop my spoon in my cereal, now finished eating. “Have you ever been in love?”
“Aspen, baby, you know I don’t put a lot of weight on emotions like that. People who believe in love and marriage and forever tend to break promises.” Ninny sits back in her chair.
“Is that what happened with Uncle Steve in Taos?”
“Taos was different.” Ninny’s eyes get serious.
“How?”
She sits back in her chair. For a moment, Ninny doesn’t answer my question, and then she says, “You want to know what I believe in? When you meet someone and you’re drawn to that person for a moment in time. But that’s it. It fades like everything else. And there’s nothing wrong with that. I’d rather spread my love.”
“I’m ready for your love to fade with Toaster.” I get up and rinse my bowl out in the sink, slightly annoyed that Ninny didn’t answer my question. She comes up behind me and wraps her arms around my waist.
“Now, the love between a mother and her child,” she says, petting my head. “That is forever.”
“What’s the difference?”
“I don’t know. It just is. Some things can’t be defined.”
I smile and lean my head back to meet hers, my annoyance fading. Her patchouli oil fills my nose, and it’s so familiar. It’s crazy how a smell can cause the world to spin differently. It can bring you back in
“Aspen,” Ben says. That’s when I realize I’m staring at his crotch.
“Yes.” My eyes snap to his face.
“I slept through class like three times this week, and we have a test on Monday,” he says, panting, arms stretched up to the sky. “Will you study with me?” When he notices Kim raising her eyebrows at him, he qualifies, “Because we’re lab partners.”
“I don’t know. You’re not really keeping up your end of the bargain.”
“Please, I’m begging you. If I fail physics, I’ll lose my scholarship.” Ben grabs my hand. I steal another glance at his shorts.
“Let go of her hand,” Kim says, annoyed. We both look at her, our hands dropping to our sides.
I choke and squeal out, “Can you come to my house?”
“I’ll go wherever you want me to go.”
“When do you want to shop?” I ask Kim.
“Sunday. Kim Jong Uma’s got me on lockdown tomorrow. College prep.”
“Tomorrow then.”
Ben nods. “I promise, I won’t sleep as much.” He walks away, and I go to get into the car, but Kim doesn’t move. She just stands there, arms across her chest.
“What the fuck?” she says.
“What?”
“What the hell was that?”
“Ben asked me to study with him.”
“You say that like it’s normal for Ben Tyler to do that.” Kim says the words in a flat tone. I can’t tell if she’s happy or sad or mad. “Something’s going on.”
“Whatever, Jasmine.” I get in my car, and turn up the radio. Kim slides into the passenger seat. We don’t say a word as I take her home.
The next morning, Ninny and I sit at the dining room table, eating cereal. I had to endure another evening with Uncle Toaster and his smacking lips while he ate the mushroom ravioli that I cooked. At one point I asked him if he was a cow. He looked at me, confused, and said, “No, why would I be a cow?”
“You sure do like grass.” I pointed at his bloodshot eyes. “And you smack your lips like you were raised in a barn.”
At that point, Ninny sent me to my room. I didn’t mind. I had a pounding headache anyway. I fell asleep for a few hours here and there, until the sun came up.
I poke at my cereal with my spoon. “Do you love Toaster?” I ask Ninny.
“I dunno. Define it.”
“Love: an intense feeling of deep affection or romantic sexual attachment.”
Ninny scratches her head. “The second part, but minus the romance. I love the way he loves on me.”
“That’s gross.” I plop my spoon in my cereal, now finished eating. “Have you ever been in love?”
“Aspen, baby, you know I don’t put a lot of weight on emotions like that. People who believe in love and marriage and forever tend to break promises.” Ninny sits back in her chair.
“Is that what happened with Uncle Steve in Taos?”
“Taos was different.” Ninny’s eyes get serious.
“How?”
She sits back in her chair. For a moment, Ninny doesn’t answer my question, and then she says, “You want to know what I believe in? When you meet someone and you’re drawn to that person for a moment in time. But that’s it. It fades like everything else. And there’s nothing wrong with that. I’d rather spread my love.”
“I’m ready for your love to fade with Toaster.” I get up and rinse my bowl out in the sink, slightly annoyed that Ninny didn’t answer my question. She comes up behind me and wraps her arms around my waist.
“Now, the love between a mother and her child,” she says, petting my head. “That is forever.”
“What’s the difference?”
“I don’t know. It just is. Some things can’t be defined.”
I smile and lean my head back to meet hers, my annoyance fading. Her patchouli oil fills my nose, and it’s so familiar. It’s crazy how a smell can cause the world to spin differently. It can bring you back in
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