you want the clips back on?"
"No, sir."
"Then do as you're told."
She obeyed. The pure beauty of it made an intensely pleasurable ache in Anders, like a surpassingly perfect chord, or the most gorgeous of sunsets.
This woman slipped into obedience like a seal into water. He watched from the doorway, watched the body inside the dress, the submissive being inside the body. There were fibres within his own body shaking loose, unfolding and reaching out for places not yet explored. As if all his life he had been confined to one small space inside his body, and was only now stretching himself to fit the full extent of his frame.
At Harbourfront he let her keep her jacket on; it wasn't a very warm room, right on the lake with the door opening and closing all the time. They listened to the jazz and talked between sets about what they'd heard, like any couple. Except that he kept stroking the small of her back. Then they took a walk along the pier. In a quiet spot, against a wall over the lake he murmured, "Tell me how it feels to be out like this, semi-naked with a strap through your crotch.”
“I – I don't know. I don't think I can explain…sir."
He raised his eyebrows. "You don't?" he asked gently.
He saw the whites of her eyes flash fear. God, how aware she was, how exquisitely responsive to handling. Untrained, a little clumsy, but so sensitive.
She bit her lip. "Ah…" She thought a minute. "Scared of something happening, someone noticing. Cold under my dress, but so – so hot and wet." She whispered. "It slides when I walk and I want more…."
He smiled, and put an arm around her. "Do your nipples still hurt?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good. What else?"
68
As She’s Told – Anneke Jacob
"I – honestly?"
"Of course honestly."
"Honestly, I wonder what would happen if I – if I just said no to you. If I walked away. I don't want to, not at all, but I probably could."
"Yes. That bothers you, doesn't it?"
"Yes. To have a choice. You know. But – I'm also – afraid."
"Of what?"
"You."
"You're afraid of what I would do to you if you said no and didn't really mean it.”
“Yes, sir."
"Good. Smart of you. You'll have more and more reason to fear me.
And less and less choice about all this."
He hugged her to his side, stroked her hair and looked out at the dim lights across the harbour, reflected on the rippling lake. There was no moon.
The dark water below them sloshed and slapped gently against the pier. "I've been leaving you on your honour to obey me. Not my preference. That's not enough control for me, not by a long shot. So hang on, Maia. I won't keep you like this for long."
He stood behind her and pressed her body to the wall, hiding her from view. As she looked out at the lake he slipped his hand between them, and his fingers took hold of the chain through the material of her dress. He hushed her quietly when her voice caught. Gently he pulled, and pulled again, and pulled again.
A boat went by, its lights bright in the darkness, and they saw figures on board. On the wall close to them a seagull came to a flapping standstill and looked at them with one eye, and then the other. A saxophone blared out through a briefly opened door somewhere behind them. Still Anders drew on the tight chain, until he felt Maia tremble and go rigid, heard her tiny, agonized panting. He held her there as she relaxed and sagged against him.
At last he turned her around and wrapped her in his arms.
69
As She’s Told – Anneke Jacob
Chapter Seven
Random acts of kindness
"Maia!" Arms waved me to a table, through a room thick with students, trays of food, music, knapsacks and loud conversation. I squeezed between two chair backs, nearly got the back of someone's head with my bag, gripped my tray with one hand and pushed my dress down nervously over my stocking tops with the other, and came close to spilling my tea down some guy's neck. Gratefully I collapsed at the table. Po Ling pulled a notebook out of the way to
"No, sir."
"Then do as you're told."
She obeyed. The pure beauty of it made an intensely pleasurable ache in Anders, like a surpassingly perfect chord, or the most gorgeous of sunsets.
This woman slipped into obedience like a seal into water. He watched from the doorway, watched the body inside the dress, the submissive being inside the body. There were fibres within his own body shaking loose, unfolding and reaching out for places not yet explored. As if all his life he had been confined to one small space inside his body, and was only now stretching himself to fit the full extent of his frame.
At Harbourfront he let her keep her jacket on; it wasn't a very warm room, right on the lake with the door opening and closing all the time. They listened to the jazz and talked between sets about what they'd heard, like any couple. Except that he kept stroking the small of her back. Then they took a walk along the pier. In a quiet spot, against a wall over the lake he murmured, "Tell me how it feels to be out like this, semi-naked with a strap through your crotch.”
“I – I don't know. I don't think I can explain…sir."
He raised his eyebrows. "You don't?" he asked gently.
He saw the whites of her eyes flash fear. God, how aware she was, how exquisitely responsive to handling. Untrained, a little clumsy, but so sensitive.
She bit her lip. "Ah…" She thought a minute. "Scared of something happening, someone noticing. Cold under my dress, but so – so hot and wet." She whispered. "It slides when I walk and I want more…."
He smiled, and put an arm around her. "Do your nipples still hurt?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good. What else?"
68
As She’s Told – Anneke Jacob
"I – honestly?"
"Of course honestly."
"Honestly, I wonder what would happen if I – if I just said no to you. If I walked away. I don't want to, not at all, but I probably could."
"Yes. That bothers you, doesn't it?"
"Yes. To have a choice. You know. But – I'm also – afraid."
"Of what?"
"You."
"You're afraid of what I would do to you if you said no and didn't really mean it.”
“Yes, sir."
"Good. Smart of you. You'll have more and more reason to fear me.
And less and less choice about all this."
He hugged her to his side, stroked her hair and looked out at the dim lights across the harbour, reflected on the rippling lake. There was no moon.
The dark water below them sloshed and slapped gently against the pier. "I've been leaving you on your honour to obey me. Not my preference. That's not enough control for me, not by a long shot. So hang on, Maia. I won't keep you like this for long."
He stood behind her and pressed her body to the wall, hiding her from view. As she looked out at the lake he slipped his hand between them, and his fingers took hold of the chain through the material of her dress. He hushed her quietly when her voice caught. Gently he pulled, and pulled again, and pulled again.
A boat went by, its lights bright in the darkness, and they saw figures on board. On the wall close to them a seagull came to a flapping standstill and looked at them with one eye, and then the other. A saxophone blared out through a briefly opened door somewhere behind them. Still Anders drew on the tight chain, until he felt Maia tremble and go rigid, heard her tiny, agonized panting. He held her there as she relaxed and sagged against him.
At last he turned her around and wrapped her in his arms.
69
As She’s Told – Anneke Jacob
Chapter Seven
Random acts of kindness
"Maia!" Arms waved me to a table, through a room thick with students, trays of food, music, knapsacks and loud conversation. I squeezed between two chair backs, nearly got the back of someone's head with my bag, gripped my tray with one hand and pushed my dress down nervously over my stocking tops with the other, and came close to spilling my tea down some guy's neck. Gratefully I collapsed at the table. Po Ling pulled a notebook out of the way to
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