it won’t calm down while you’re watching, so I need you to go
away.”
“Fine. I’m leaving.”
He grinned. “But don’t forget to
contemplate our deal.”
CHAPTER 5
Of course I’m contemplating “the
deal.”
But I’m also contemplating his
“body part.” Not on purpose. And not the way you think. (Gag!) I’m just
remembering something. Something I’m sure he remembered too—the exact
moment it happened.
I’m beyond certain the awkward
“movement” reminded him of another awkward moment with me. I’m sure it made him
smirk inside when it happened tonight —like laugh his head off at the
irony, though he didn’t say a word about the incident—I mean, the one
from our past.
I’ll just come out and say it: I
have bittersweet memories with Ryan. If anyone really needs closure from our
past, it’s me. For him, it’s different. He likes to tease me about our past,
but in reality, he’s moved on. He’s dated hordes of girls. So many he can’t even
contemplate spending a month just dating one—Carly. (And Carly is
adorable!!)
For me, it’s different. I try to
act tough—but it’s just that: an act. I still melt around Ryan and turn
into goo when he does something sweet—like the following me home thing.
He probably just saw some creepy
guys checking me out at the restaurant last week and decided he should make
sure I got home okay … which is heart wrenchingly sweet (I know that), but it’s
not like he sits around thinking about me. He doesn’t have time to sit around thinking about me. Or our past. When it’s
brought smack into his face—like when it follows him into the
bathroom—then yes, sure, he’ll look at it and go, Hey, I remember this girl. I used to make her beat me at chess before
I’d let her ride my horse . (A literal horse.)
Or, he might even remember that’s
how he got me to kiss him the very first time that he got me to.
We were twelve and I’d been at his
house while my mom cleaned. We were playing this game—Zombie
Attack—because he was obsessed with the game, and I was good at it. Which
he loved. So he made me play it with him even while I wanted to do something
else.
As we played, I could see his
family’s horse stables from his bedroom window. (I loved his horses and made
him ride with me like, every time I came over. Though he liked riding about as
much I liked Zombie Attack. Well, in truth I liked Zombie Attack. I just didn’t want to play it all the time … just like he didn’t want
to ride horses all the time. But he would, in the end, always give in to what I
wanted … after he tortured me with doing what he wanted for an hour. I mean that sincerely—a whole
hour. He would put on a timer and everything.)
I told him longingly as I gazed out
the window, “I want to ride your horse.”
He murmured huskily, “I want to
kiss you.”
He said it matter-of-factly, and
yet in a way, just as longingly as I had said I wanted to ride his horse.
I choked on my gum. He wanted to kiss me??? We were twelve!! (Yet, okay,
I had dreamed about kissing him—tons of times. But—but … this was
real-life. Very different.)
I choked and choked.
He sighed, doing it the dramatic,
teasing way he has, then strolled over to his bathroom and got me a glass of
water, so I didn’t, you know, choke to death.
Once I gulped the whole contents of
the glass down, he grinned, “We have twenty minutes left on the timer.” He
raised his eyebrows, “We don’t have to play Zombie Attack anymore.” He grinned,
“—I know how you hate it.” His lips curved up even more, “So would you
rather kiss me for the next twenty
minutes? Then we’ll ride the horses … for as long as you want. For the rest of
the day if you want.”
My heart exploded.
Not going to lie, I’d had a huge
crush on Ryan forever. I always did. But it had quadrupled the week before he
suggested the kissing, so, yeah, I was on fire. And hyperventilating.
The thing that
away.”
“Fine. I’m leaving.”
He grinned. “But don’t forget to
contemplate our deal.”
CHAPTER 5
Of course I’m contemplating “the
deal.”
But I’m also contemplating his
“body part.” Not on purpose. And not the way you think. (Gag!) I’m just
remembering something. Something I’m sure he remembered too—the exact
moment it happened.
I’m beyond certain the awkward
“movement” reminded him of another awkward moment with me. I’m sure it made him
smirk inside when it happened tonight —like laugh his head off at the
irony, though he didn’t say a word about the incident—I mean, the one
from our past.
I’ll just come out and say it: I
have bittersweet memories with Ryan. If anyone really needs closure from our
past, it’s me. For him, it’s different. He likes to tease me about our past,
but in reality, he’s moved on. He’s dated hordes of girls. So many he can’t even
contemplate spending a month just dating one—Carly. (And Carly is
adorable!!)
For me, it’s different. I try to
act tough—but it’s just that: an act. I still melt around Ryan and turn
into goo when he does something sweet—like the following me home thing.
He probably just saw some creepy
guys checking me out at the restaurant last week and decided he should make
sure I got home okay … which is heart wrenchingly sweet (I know that), but it’s
not like he sits around thinking about me. He doesn’t have time to sit around thinking about me. Or our past. When it’s
brought smack into his face—like when it follows him into the
bathroom—then yes, sure, he’ll look at it and go, Hey, I remember this girl. I used to make her beat me at chess before
I’d let her ride my horse . (A literal horse.)
Or, he might even remember that’s
how he got me to kiss him the very first time that he got me to.
We were twelve and I’d been at his
house while my mom cleaned. We were playing this game—Zombie
Attack—because he was obsessed with the game, and I was good at it. Which
he loved. So he made me play it with him even while I wanted to do something
else.
As we played, I could see his
family’s horse stables from his bedroom window. (I loved his horses and made
him ride with me like, every time I came over. Though he liked riding about as
much I liked Zombie Attack. Well, in truth I liked Zombie Attack. I just didn’t want to play it all the time … just like he didn’t want
to ride horses all the time. But he would, in the end, always give in to what I
wanted … after he tortured me with doing what he wanted for an hour. I mean that sincerely—a whole
hour. He would put on a timer and everything.)
I told him longingly as I gazed out
the window, “I want to ride your horse.”
He murmured huskily, “I want to
kiss you.”
He said it matter-of-factly, and
yet in a way, just as longingly as I had said I wanted to ride his horse.
I choked on my gum. He wanted to kiss me??? We were twelve!! (Yet, okay,
I had dreamed about kissing him—tons of times. But—but … this was
real-life. Very different.)
I choked and choked.
He sighed, doing it the dramatic,
teasing way he has, then strolled over to his bathroom and got me a glass of
water, so I didn’t, you know, choke to death.
Once I gulped the whole contents of
the glass down, he grinned, “We have twenty minutes left on the timer.” He
raised his eyebrows, “We don’t have to play Zombie Attack anymore.” He grinned,
“—I know how you hate it.” His lips curved up even more, “So would you
rather kiss me for the next twenty
minutes? Then we’ll ride the horses … for as long as you want. For the rest of
the day if you want.”
My heart exploded.
Not going to lie, I’d had a huge
crush on Ryan forever. I always did. But it had quadrupled the week before he
suggested the kissing, so, yeah, I was on fire. And hyperventilating.
The thing that
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