remotest idea why she doesn’t like the word.”
“I’ll bet she has. Women aren’t that dumb.”
“I say she hasn’t the remotest idea why she doesn’t like the word. Somewhere in the back of her mind the sound of the word has a dirty connotation, but what it is she isn’t sure. So she thinks she prefers simple language. Did you ever masticate?”
“None of your business.”
“Did you?”
“I’m getting a little tired of this,” said Caroline.
“So am I,” said Julian. They rode for a while, and then he said: “When are we going to have a kid?”
“I don’t know. When
are
we?” she said.
“No, seriously,
when
are we?”
“You know. The five years will be up soon.”
“The Five Year Plan,” he said slowly. “Well, maybe you’re right.”
“I know I’m right. Look at these kids, Jeanie and Chuck. Married less than two years, hardly more than a year, and Jeanie may have to have false teeth. Mind you, false teeth, and do you remember her teeth? She had the loveliest strong white teeth I ever saw—”
“Except yours.”
“Well, except mine. But hers were beautiful and just right. Smallish and nice and really sparkling. Mine are bigger, and they don’t sparkle.”
“They dazzle me,” he said. He snapped off the headlights. “We’ll use your sparkling teeth for headlights.”
“Put the lights on, you fool,” she said. “No kidding, it’s awful. She’s only twenty-one. Just twenty-one, and she’s absolutely a married woman. A married woman with a child. And—”
“And a husband. And what a husband.”
“Exactly!” said Caroline. “Chuck. That little twirp Jeanie. Why, he isn’t good enough to…”
“To what. Finish it.”
“No, I’m not fooling. Chuck running around with that girl from Kresge’s and the other day at bridge club Barbara Schultz spoke up and said, ‘Well, I think someone ought to defend poor Chuck.’ Poor Chuck! She said, ‘If Jeanie had taken thetrouble to keep herself attractive, Chuck wouldn’t chase after other girls.’ Golly it made me mad. She must have read that somewhere. I didn’t say anything, and neither did anyone else, but you could see what everybody was thinking. Barbara’s such a fool for letting herself in for that. Why, she did everything but handcuff Chuck to make him marry her.”
“She did? I didn’t know that. I know they had dates, but I never thought—”
“No? Well, here’s something else you didn’t know. Mrs. Schultz was so sure Barbara was going to get Chuck that she made reservations for two for a trip around the world—”
“Well, she and old Stinker went around the world.”
“Yes, but Mother told me that she was in Mr. Schultz’s office when—”
“God damn it to hell!” said Julian. He stopped the car. “Crosslink broke. I might as well fix it now while I’m sober.” He got out of the car and fixed the link. They did not speak to each other during the five-minute wait. Cars drove by and one or two stopped, recognizing Julian and the car, asking if they could help, but he sent them on.
He started the car again. “Hyuh, baby,” he said. “What were we talking about? Had we finished with Chuck?”
“Mm.”
“What’s the mattah, honey sugah lamb pie, what’s the mattah you all?”
“Listen, Ju. Listen to me, will you?”
“Listen to you? Why, Mrs. English, one of the most attractive features of the Cadillac is the minimum of noise in the motor. Just let me show—”
“No. Don’t be funny.”
“What’s the matter? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something? Christ, I thought we were getting along fine.”
“We were, but something you said worried me. See, you don’t even remember saying it.”
“Well, come on. Out with it, dearie. What did I say?”
“When you stopped the car. When you got out to fix the chain, you said something about you were going to fix it now, while you were sober.”
“Oh,” he said.
“As if—”
“I get it. You don’t have to draw
“I’ll bet she has. Women aren’t that dumb.”
“I say she hasn’t the remotest idea why she doesn’t like the word. Somewhere in the back of her mind the sound of the word has a dirty connotation, but what it is she isn’t sure. So she thinks she prefers simple language. Did you ever masticate?”
“None of your business.”
“Did you?”
“I’m getting a little tired of this,” said Caroline.
“So am I,” said Julian. They rode for a while, and then he said: “When are we going to have a kid?”
“I don’t know. When
are
we?” she said.
“No, seriously,
when
are we?”
“You know. The five years will be up soon.”
“The Five Year Plan,” he said slowly. “Well, maybe you’re right.”
“I know I’m right. Look at these kids, Jeanie and Chuck. Married less than two years, hardly more than a year, and Jeanie may have to have false teeth. Mind you, false teeth, and do you remember her teeth? She had the loveliest strong white teeth I ever saw—”
“Except yours.”
“Well, except mine. But hers were beautiful and just right. Smallish and nice and really sparkling. Mine are bigger, and they don’t sparkle.”
“They dazzle me,” he said. He snapped off the headlights. “We’ll use your sparkling teeth for headlights.”
“Put the lights on, you fool,” she said. “No kidding, it’s awful. She’s only twenty-one. Just twenty-one, and she’s absolutely a married woman. A married woman with a child. And—”
“And a husband. And what a husband.”
“Exactly!” said Caroline. “Chuck. That little twirp Jeanie. Why, he isn’t good enough to…”
“To what. Finish it.”
“No, I’m not fooling. Chuck running around with that girl from Kresge’s and the other day at bridge club Barbara Schultz spoke up and said, ‘Well, I think someone ought to defend poor Chuck.’ Poor Chuck! She said, ‘If Jeanie had taken thetrouble to keep herself attractive, Chuck wouldn’t chase after other girls.’ Golly it made me mad. She must have read that somewhere. I didn’t say anything, and neither did anyone else, but you could see what everybody was thinking. Barbara’s such a fool for letting herself in for that. Why, she did everything but handcuff Chuck to make him marry her.”
“She did? I didn’t know that. I know they had dates, but I never thought—”
“No? Well, here’s something else you didn’t know. Mrs. Schultz was so sure Barbara was going to get Chuck that she made reservations for two for a trip around the world—”
“Well, she and old Stinker went around the world.”
“Yes, but Mother told me that she was in Mr. Schultz’s office when—”
“God damn it to hell!” said Julian. He stopped the car. “Crosslink broke. I might as well fix it now while I’m sober.” He got out of the car and fixed the link. They did not speak to each other during the five-minute wait. Cars drove by and one or two stopped, recognizing Julian and the car, asking if they could help, but he sent them on.
He started the car again. “Hyuh, baby,” he said. “What were we talking about? Had we finished with Chuck?”
“Mm.”
“What’s the mattah, honey sugah lamb pie, what’s the mattah you all?”
“Listen, Ju. Listen to me, will you?”
“Listen to you? Why, Mrs. English, one of the most attractive features of the Cadillac is the minimum of noise in the motor. Just let me show—”
“No. Don’t be funny.”
“What’s the matter? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something? Christ, I thought we were getting along fine.”
“We were, but something you said worried me. See, you don’t even remember saying it.”
“Well, come on. Out with it, dearie. What did I say?”
“When you stopped the car. When you got out to fix the chain, you said something about you were going to fix it now, while you were sober.”
“Oh,” he said.
“As if—”
“I get it. You don’t have to draw
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