when she laughed really hard and cried at a good Hallmark commercial … the day Bret had been born and they’d put him in Liam’s arms, and Mike had whispered softly that life was good. The day he’d asked her to marry him …
That was the one that hurt.
It had been the year
Batman
exploded across theatermultiplexes and the
Exxon Valdez
crashed in Prince William Sound.
They’d been at Angel Falls, stretched out on a blanket beside a still, green pool of water. There had been tears in her eyes when she told him she was pregnant.
He had known to tread carefully. It had been difficult, when all he wanted to do was throw back his head and laugh with joy, but he’d touched her cheek and asked her quietly to marry him.
I’ve been married before
, she’d answered, a single tear sliding down her pink cheek.
Okay
. That’s what he’d said, all he’d said.
It’s important
.
He’d known that, of course.
I loved him with all my heart and soul
, she’d said.
I’m afraid I’ll love him until I die
.
I see
.
But he’d known that she was the one who could see. She’d known she was breaking his heart. She turned and knelt beside him.
There are things I can’t tell you … ever. Things I won’t talk about
.
“I didn’t care about all that, did I, Mike? I was forty years old and I’d seen things no human being should ever see.
“Until I met you, I had given up on love, did you know that? I had grown up in a great man’s shadow; I knew that everyone I met compared me to the famous Ian Campbell, and beside him, I was an agate pushed up alongside a diamond.
“Then I met you, and you’d never really known myfather. I thought at last I’d found someone who wouldn’t compare me all the time … but you’d already had a diamond, hadn’t you, Mike? And I was still just an ordinary agate …”
But he hadn’t told her any of this when he asked her to marry him, when she told him she’d already found—and lost—the love of her life. All he’d said was that he loved her, and that if she could return even a piece of his love, they’d be happy.
He’d known that she wanted it to be true, just as he’d known she didn’t completely believe it.
I will never lie to you, Liam, and I’ll never be unfaithful. I will be as good a wife as I can be
.
I love you, Mike
, he’d said, watching her cry.
And I love you
.
He’d thought that over the years, she’d learned to love him, but now he was seized by doubt. Maybe she cared for him. Only that.
“You should have told me, Mike,” he said, but even as he said the words, he heard the lie echoing within them. She couldn’t have told him. She was right in that, at least. The knowing was unbearable.
She had loved him that much, anyway.
“I found the pillowcase, Mike,” he said, leaning close. “The pictures … the clippings. I know about … him.”
He squeezed her hand. “I guess I know why you didn’t tell me. But it hurts, Mike. Jesus, it hurts and I don’t know what to do with all of it.”
He leaned toward her. “Did you ever love me,Mike? How can I go on without knowing the answer to that question?
“I guess I shouldn’t even ask,” he said. “I should have seen it in your eyes, should have known somehow that you were always comparing me to someone else. God knows I had the experience to see it, so why didn’t I? And how could I ever measure up to Julian True?”
She blinked.
Liam gasped, squeezing her hand so hard it should have crushed the fragile bones. “Mike … can you hear me? Blink if you can hear me.” With his other hand, he hit the nurses’ button.
Within seconds, Sarah came bustling into the room, already out of breath. “Dr. Campbell, is she—”
“She blinked.”
Sarah came closer to the bed, studying Mike first, and then Liam.
Mike lay perfectly still, her eyes sealed shut.
“Come on, Mike. Blink if you can hear me.”
Sarah checked each machine, one by one, then she moved to stand by Liam. “I think it
That was the one that hurt.
It had been the year
Batman
exploded across theatermultiplexes and the
Exxon Valdez
crashed in Prince William Sound.
They’d been at Angel Falls, stretched out on a blanket beside a still, green pool of water. There had been tears in her eyes when she told him she was pregnant.
He had known to tread carefully. It had been difficult, when all he wanted to do was throw back his head and laugh with joy, but he’d touched her cheek and asked her quietly to marry him.
I’ve been married before
, she’d answered, a single tear sliding down her pink cheek.
Okay
. That’s what he’d said, all he’d said.
It’s important
.
He’d known that, of course.
I loved him with all my heart and soul
, she’d said.
I’m afraid I’ll love him until I die
.
I see
.
But he’d known that she was the one who could see. She’d known she was breaking his heart. She turned and knelt beside him.
There are things I can’t tell you … ever. Things I won’t talk about
.
“I didn’t care about all that, did I, Mike? I was forty years old and I’d seen things no human being should ever see.
“Until I met you, I had given up on love, did you know that? I had grown up in a great man’s shadow; I knew that everyone I met compared me to the famous Ian Campbell, and beside him, I was an agate pushed up alongside a diamond.
“Then I met you, and you’d never really known myfather. I thought at last I’d found someone who wouldn’t compare me all the time … but you’d already had a diamond, hadn’t you, Mike? And I was still just an ordinary agate …”
But he hadn’t told her any of this when he asked her to marry him, when she told him she’d already found—and lost—the love of her life. All he’d said was that he loved her, and that if she could return even a piece of his love, they’d be happy.
He’d known that she wanted it to be true, just as he’d known she didn’t completely believe it.
I will never lie to you, Liam, and I’ll never be unfaithful. I will be as good a wife as I can be
.
I love you, Mike
, he’d said, watching her cry.
And I love you
.
He’d thought that over the years, she’d learned to love him, but now he was seized by doubt. Maybe she cared for him. Only that.
“You should have told me, Mike,” he said, but even as he said the words, he heard the lie echoing within them. She couldn’t have told him. She was right in that, at least. The knowing was unbearable.
She had loved him that much, anyway.
“I found the pillowcase, Mike,” he said, leaning close. “The pictures … the clippings. I know about … him.”
He squeezed her hand. “I guess I know why you didn’t tell me. But it hurts, Mike. Jesus, it hurts and I don’t know what to do with all of it.”
He leaned toward her. “Did you ever love me,Mike? How can I go on without knowing the answer to that question?
“I guess I shouldn’t even ask,” he said. “I should have seen it in your eyes, should have known somehow that you were always comparing me to someone else. God knows I had the experience to see it, so why didn’t I? And how could I ever measure up to Julian True?”
She blinked.
Liam gasped, squeezing her hand so hard it should have crushed the fragile bones. “Mike … can you hear me? Blink if you can hear me.” With his other hand, he hit the nurses’ button.
Within seconds, Sarah came bustling into the room, already out of breath. “Dr. Campbell, is she—”
“She blinked.”
Sarah came closer to the bed, studying Mike first, and then Liam.
Mike lay perfectly still, her eyes sealed shut.
“Come on, Mike. Blink if you can hear me.”
Sarah checked each machine, one by one, then she moved to stand by Liam. “I think it
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