Iâd have to admit it.
âYou need to eat,â he said, and I thudded back down to reality.
âYes,â I said. I did need something to eat, and it would help if we had a place to stay afterwards. Iâd need to rest, whether or not the result was a fresh crop of bodies.
âAll right then,â I said. âIâm going to go eat something, and then weâll meet you.â
âDonât think you can get out of town without us seeing you,â she said.
âI really donât like you,â I said.
She looked down. I donât know what expression she wanted to hide. Maybe at the moment she wasnât too fond of herself.
We stole out of the back of the station and finally found a fast-food chain place that looked pretty anonymous. It was too cold to eat in the car. We had to go in. Fortunately, no one in there seemed to read the papers, or else they were simply too polite to accost me. Which meant there werenât any reporters. Either way, I got to eat the food in peace. At least with food this simple, there was nothing Tolliver had to cut up for me. All the aid he had to supply was ripping open the ketchup packets and putting the straw in the drink. I ate slowly because after we finished Iâd have to go to the damn barn, and I didnât want to.
âI think this sucks,â I said after Iâd eaten half the hamburger. âNot the food, but the situation.â
âI do, too,â he said. âBut I donât see how we can get out of it without more fuss than doing it will be.â
I started to snap at him, to remind him that it was me that would be doing the unpleasant task; that he would be standing by, as always. Fortunately, I shut my mouth before those awful words came out. I was horrified at how I could have ripped up our relationship based on a momentâs peevishness. How many times a week did I thank God that I had Tolliver with me? How many times did I feel grateful that he was there to act as a buffer between me and the world?
âHarper?â
âWhat?â
âYouâre looking at me weird. Whatâs the matter?â
âI was just thinking.â
âYou must have been thinking some bad thoughts.â
âYeah.â
âAre you mad at me for some reason? You think I should have argued more with the sheriff?â
âI donât think that wouldâve done any good.â
âMe, either. So why the mad face?â
âI was mad at myself.â
âThatâs not good. You havenât done anything wrong.â
I tried not to heave a sigh. âI do wrong things all the time,â I said, and if my voice was morose, well, I just couldnât help it. I knew I wanted more from Tolliver than he could or should give me, and I had to hide that knowledge from everyone, especially from him.
I was definitely on a âmy life sucksâ kick, and the sooner I got off of it, the better life would be.
We called Sheriff Rockwell on our way back to the station so she could meet us outside. We parked our car and climbed into hers. âHe doesnât need to come,â she said, nodding her head at Tolliver.
âHe comes,â I said. âThatâs not a negotiation point. Iâd rather talk to the reporters for an hour than go somewhere without him.â
She gave me a very sharp look. Then she shrugged. âAll right,â she said. âHe comes along.â
As she turned out of the parking lot, she turned yet again so she wouldnât drive past the front of the station. Iâd wondered if she might be a glory hound, yet she was avoiding the media. I couldnât figure her out at all.
Even though Iâd had some food and some time out, by the time we reached our destination at the very edge of town I was realizing my body was far from healed. There were some pain pills in the pharmacy bag back in our car. I wished Iâd brought them with us, but I had to admit to
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