In a few days she would be traveling to Judah on these flood-swollen waters, and she needed to say goodbye to him before she left. As the seabirds swooped above her, crying raucously, she wondered again what miracle had made Joshua suddenly notice her and ask for her help. She watched the ferry approach, remembering how earnest his handsome face had been as he’d warned her of the dangers she would face. He couldn’t have known that she would walk into Sheol itself for him. As she moved to get in line with the other passengers, someone called her name.
“Miriam … wait!”
She turned, surprised to see Hadad hurrying toward her. Miriam knew that he’d returned to Elephantine Island almost four months ago, but she hadn’t seen him since that terrible Passover night when he’d asked for Dinah’s hand. The changes she saw in him now startled her. She’d known him drunk and sober, angry and content, in love and in pain, but something about the haunted emptiness she saw in his eyes frightened her now. And she’d never been afraid of Hadad before.
“Did Joshua tell you we’re leaving for Judah in a few days?” he asked without a word of greeting.
“Yes, he asked me to go with him.”
Hadad cursed. “Is that what he said? Go with him ?” His anger alarmed Miriam. She took a step back.
“Not exactly. I’m going to accompany Dinah. We’re the only women who are going, and—”
Hadad kicked a discarded piece of sacking and sent it flying into the water, accompanied by more curses. “Don’t do it, Miriam! Don’t go!”
“Why not? What are you so angry about, Hadad?”
“He’s using you, and he has no right to do that. I know because he used me the same way. When he needs something he makes you think you’re his friend, but the truth is, he considers himself superior to you and me. We’re beneath him.”
“Because we have no name?”
Hadad nodded. For a brief moment his eyes lost their empty look as they searched hers. “I know you’re in love with him, Miriam.”
“I am not!” She looked away, her cheeks burning.
“Don’t try to deny it. I figured out the truth a long time ago—when you followed Jerimoth’s caravan from Moab to Jerusalem. I was there when Joshua raged at you for tagging along. I heard all the terrible things he said to you. Yet you still risked your life to wade through all that carnage at the Temple and drag him out of there.”
Miriam stared at the ground, ashamed. She thought no one else but Jerusha knew of her love for Joshua. She couldn’t look at Hadad, but he lifted her chin, forcing her to face him.
“He isn’t worthy of you, Miriam. Your motives are pure; you’re helping him because you’re in love with him. But he’s only using you. There’s no room in his heart for you or anyone else. Did he tell you what will happen if our mission is successful? If he assassinates King Manasseh?”
“He said we’d be able to move back home again and—”
“What about you? What did he promise you for helping him?”
Miriam was ashamed to feel tears brimming in her eyes. “Hadad, don’t. Please.”
“Once Amariah is king, Joshua will be his palace administrator, the second highest official in the land. He’ll choose a woman of noble blood to be his wife, not a servant’s daughter.”
The tears Miriam had tried so hard to control spilled down her cheeks against her will. “I know. I don’t expect anything for myself. But Joshua promised that my brother Nathan could come back home and be his son again if—”
“Don’t believe him, Miriam. Your brother will only get a glimpse of what a respectable life is like, but he’ll never be allowed to live it. I know because that’s what happened to me. You heard Joshua’s reaction when I asked to marry Dinah. And it will be the same for Nathan. Joshua will never give Nathan his own name. Believe me, it’s better if your brother never tastes that way of life because it will be denied him in the end.”
A
“Miriam … wait!”
She turned, surprised to see Hadad hurrying toward her. Miriam knew that he’d returned to Elephantine Island almost four months ago, but she hadn’t seen him since that terrible Passover night when he’d asked for Dinah’s hand. The changes she saw in him now startled her. She’d known him drunk and sober, angry and content, in love and in pain, but something about the haunted emptiness she saw in his eyes frightened her now. And she’d never been afraid of Hadad before.
“Did Joshua tell you we’re leaving for Judah in a few days?” he asked without a word of greeting.
“Yes, he asked me to go with him.”
Hadad cursed. “Is that what he said? Go with him ?” His anger alarmed Miriam. She took a step back.
“Not exactly. I’m going to accompany Dinah. We’re the only women who are going, and—”
Hadad kicked a discarded piece of sacking and sent it flying into the water, accompanied by more curses. “Don’t do it, Miriam! Don’t go!”
“Why not? What are you so angry about, Hadad?”
“He’s using you, and he has no right to do that. I know because he used me the same way. When he needs something he makes you think you’re his friend, but the truth is, he considers himself superior to you and me. We’re beneath him.”
“Because we have no name?”
Hadad nodded. For a brief moment his eyes lost their empty look as they searched hers. “I know you’re in love with him, Miriam.”
“I am not!” She looked away, her cheeks burning.
“Don’t try to deny it. I figured out the truth a long time ago—when you followed Jerimoth’s caravan from Moab to Jerusalem. I was there when Joshua raged at you for tagging along. I heard all the terrible things he said to you. Yet you still risked your life to wade through all that carnage at the Temple and drag him out of there.”
Miriam stared at the ground, ashamed. She thought no one else but Jerusha knew of her love for Joshua. She couldn’t look at Hadad, but he lifted her chin, forcing her to face him.
“He isn’t worthy of you, Miriam. Your motives are pure; you’re helping him because you’re in love with him. But he’s only using you. There’s no room in his heart for you or anyone else. Did he tell you what will happen if our mission is successful? If he assassinates King Manasseh?”
“He said we’d be able to move back home again and—”
“What about you? What did he promise you for helping him?”
Miriam was ashamed to feel tears brimming in her eyes. “Hadad, don’t. Please.”
“Once Amariah is king, Joshua will be his palace administrator, the second highest official in the land. He’ll choose a woman of noble blood to be his wife, not a servant’s daughter.”
The tears Miriam had tried so hard to control spilled down her cheeks against her will. “I know. I don’t expect anything for myself. But Joshua promised that my brother Nathan could come back home and be his son again if—”
“Don’t believe him, Miriam. Your brother will only get a glimpse of what a respectable life is like, but he’ll never be allowed to live it. I know because that’s what happened to me. You heard Joshua’s reaction when I asked to marry Dinah. And it will be the same for Nathan. Joshua will never give Nathan his own name. Believe me, it’s better if your brother never tastes that way of life because it will be denied him in the end.”
A
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