Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy by Donald B. Kraybill, Steven M. Nolt, David L. Weaver-Zercher Page A
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island, the Stoltzfuses, following traditional Amish honeymoon custom, arranged to visit extended family for several weeks. During that time they received gifts, enjoyed a break from their work routines, and became better acquainted with their new in-laws. Now, five days after their wedding, they were returning home on Sunday afternoon after their first honeymoon visit.
That same day, seventeen-year-old Joel Kime came home from church, grabbed some lunch, and headed to a soccer game with his brother and two friends. Driving his family’s old AMC Concord station wagon, and eager to show off its power, he had already hit seventy miles an hour when he topped the crest of a hill on a narrow country road, only to find a buggy one hundred yards ahead. Unconcerned, he decided to “blow past those guys, because I thought it was so incredibly cool!” His daring turned into terror as the horse began to turn left into the passing lane. At his high speed, Kime had failed to see the buggy’s turn signal. Newlywed Sarah died in the hospital that evening.
According to Kime, Amish forgiveness transformed this tragedy in many ways. On Monday evening, the day after the accident, Kime’s parents took him to the Stoltzfus home. He had never been to an Amish home before and was frightened. To his surprise, Aaron’s grandmother hugged him and expressed her forgiveness. So did Aaron’s father. It happened again when Sarah’s parents, Melvin and Barbara, put their arms around him and said, “We forgive you; we know it was God’s time for her to die.” In Kime’s words, it was “unbelievable. It was totally, absolutely amazing. . . . They proceeded to invite my family to come over for dinner. . . . I cannot express the relief that floated over me.”
In a back room of the farmhouse Kime met Aaron, the shattered husband, staring at his deceased bride in the wooden coffin. “Like his parents, he came to me with open arms,” Kime recalled. “I said, ‘How can I ever repay you?’ He simply forgave me. We hugged as the freedom of forgiveness swept over and through me.”
Some time later, Kime and his family had dinner with Sarah’s parents in their home, along with Aaron and some of his family. “Never once did they attempt to make us feel bad. . . . I still have a pile of at least fifty cards that I received from various Amish people across the county. They were constantly encouraging and pointing me to God.”
At his trial, expressions of Amish grace surfaced again. “Numerous Amish people wrote letters to the judge begging for my pardon, asking that I be acquitted on all counts.” Legally it was impossible for the judge to acquit Kime, but because he was a minor, he was able to bypass prison.
The relationship between the Kime and Stoltzfus families continues. They get together about once a year in each other’s homes. In Kime’s words, “I came to realize that [my] relationship with Aaron and the rest of the Stoltzfus family had grown into a legitimate, normal relationship. They had forgiven me and never went back on that decision. Five years after the accident I invited them to my wedding, and they came for the ceremony and reception, bearing gifts.” Later, when Kime and his wife spent time overseas as missionaries, the Stoltzfus family supported them financially. “Forgiveness, they taught me, is not a one-time event,” Kime concluded.
Forgiveness in the Media Spotlight
Other tragedies, and the Amish responses that followed them, have been much more public. The murder of Paul Coblentz, a twenty-five-year-old Amish farmer, on August 19, 1957, drew intense national media attention to the Amish settlement in Mount Hope, Ohio. Around 10:30 P.M. two young non-Amish men looking for cash randomly targeted the rural home of Paul and Dora Coblentz. Robbing the young couple of $9 and beginning to assault Dora—who was seeking to shield their seventeen-month-old daughter—one of the
That same day, seventeen-year-old Joel Kime came home from church, grabbed some lunch, and headed to a soccer game with his brother and two friends. Driving his family’s old AMC Concord station wagon, and eager to show off its power, he had already hit seventy miles an hour when he topped the crest of a hill on a narrow country road, only to find a buggy one hundred yards ahead. Unconcerned, he decided to “blow past those guys, because I thought it was so incredibly cool!” His daring turned into terror as the horse began to turn left into the passing lane. At his high speed, Kime had failed to see the buggy’s turn signal. Newlywed Sarah died in the hospital that evening.
According to Kime, Amish forgiveness transformed this tragedy in many ways. On Monday evening, the day after the accident, Kime’s parents took him to the Stoltzfus home. He had never been to an Amish home before and was frightened. To his surprise, Aaron’s grandmother hugged him and expressed her forgiveness. So did Aaron’s father. It happened again when Sarah’s parents, Melvin and Barbara, put their arms around him and said, “We forgive you; we know it was God’s time for her to die.” In Kime’s words, it was “unbelievable. It was totally, absolutely amazing. . . . They proceeded to invite my family to come over for dinner. . . . I cannot express the relief that floated over me.”
In a back room of the farmhouse Kime met Aaron, the shattered husband, staring at his deceased bride in the wooden coffin. “Like his parents, he came to me with open arms,” Kime recalled. “I said, ‘How can I ever repay you?’ He simply forgave me. We hugged as the freedom of forgiveness swept over and through me.”
Some time later, Kime and his family had dinner with Sarah’s parents in their home, along with Aaron and some of his family. “Never once did they attempt to make us feel bad. . . . I still have a pile of at least fifty cards that I received from various Amish people across the county. They were constantly encouraging and pointing me to God.”
At his trial, expressions of Amish grace surfaced again. “Numerous Amish people wrote letters to the judge begging for my pardon, asking that I be acquitted on all counts.” Legally it was impossible for the judge to acquit Kime, but because he was a minor, he was able to bypass prison.
The relationship between the Kime and Stoltzfus families continues. They get together about once a year in each other’s homes. In Kime’s words, “I came to realize that [my] relationship with Aaron and the rest of the Stoltzfus family had grown into a legitimate, normal relationship. They had forgiven me and never went back on that decision. Five years after the accident I invited them to my wedding, and they came for the ceremony and reception, bearing gifts.” Later, when Kime and his wife spent time overseas as missionaries, the Stoltzfus family supported them financially. “Forgiveness, they taught me, is not a one-time event,” Kime concluded.
Forgiveness in the Media Spotlight
Other tragedies, and the Amish responses that followed them, have been much more public. The murder of Paul Coblentz, a twenty-five-year-old Amish farmer, on August 19, 1957, drew intense national media attention to the Amish settlement in Mount Hope, Ohio. Around 10:30 P.M. two young non-Amish men looking for cash randomly targeted the rural home of Paul and Dora Coblentz. Robbing the young couple of $9 and beginning to assault Dora—who was seeking to shield their seventeen-month-old daughter—one of the
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