put the journal away.
“Good morning, Melissa.” Dr. Rowan breezed into her room the next day, his face lit with a smile, a clipboard and a manila folder in his hand.
Warily she lowered the textbook she was studying. “My lab results?”
“Your lab results.” He flipped open the folder. “Your platelet count has stabilized and your white count is acceptable. However, there’s a marked decrease of polys, which means you’re still quite vulnerable to infection, so you’ll have to avoid crowds and keep that surgical mask on when you go outside … ”
“Outside?”
“I’m discharging you. Although we haven’t achieved remission yet, I think we’re close.”
Her mouth went dry over the news.
I should be happy about this
, she thought. But in reality, she was scared. She hated the hospital, but there she was sheltered, and her doctors and nurses were at hand to help her. At home, she’d be on her own. “Is it really safe for me to leave?”
“It’s both safe and necessary,” Dr. Rowan said, shaking his head of unruly hair. “You need to start leading a normal life again. Get back into the mainstream.”
Wasn’t that what she wanted too? “But what if I have a problem?”
“Your family will be instructed how to deal with most things. And if there’s something they can’t handle, or if there are any questions, I’m a phone call away. You aren’t being released from therapy, Melissa. Outpatient care is just one small step on the road to recovery.”
“Can I go back to school?”
“Not right away.”
“When?”
“I can’t say yet. Your chemo program will change, but until you’re on maintenance, I’d rather not have you in a classroom environment.”
“I want to be back in school in another week.”
“That’s too soon, Melissa.”
“When?”
“If all goes well, maybe after Christmas. It’ll be safer then.”
“Christmas! The school year will be half over by then.”
“But you’ll be stronger and more able to fight off infections.”
Melissa struggled against panic. Dr. Rowan couldn’t make her wait so long to return to school.She’d already missed most of October and part of November. She couldn’t stand the thought of staying out until January. “But the PSATs are being given next Saturday. I have to take them with my class. They’re for college.”
“You’re a stubborn girl, Melissa. Of course, I can’t forbid you, but it isn’t a good idea.”
Her palms were clammy. “It’s one test for just a few hours. My friend Jory can take me, stay with me, bring me straight back home.” She squared her chin. “I’ll wear my mask the whole time.” She imagined herself sitting in the vast auditorium with a surgical mask strapped to her face. The image caused her to shudder, but she’d do it if it meant she could take the test.
Dr. Rowan was speaking to her, but she heard only part of his speech. “… your mother comes I’ll have your discharge papers ready. Someone can bring you to the clinic day after tomorrow for your chemo. DeeDee Thomas will administer it, so you’ll still be seeing plenty of familiar faces. Feel free to come up here to the floor whenever you want to visit. It encourages the other patients, you know, seeing someone living on the outside. There’s a teen support group that meets once a month which you might like to join.”
Melissa nodded, unable to sort through all he was telling her. The only thing she cared about was that she was going home. When Jory called and Melissa told her, her friend squealed so loud Melissa had to hold the phone away from her ear.
“Everyone will be
so
glad!”
Melissa wanted everybody to know, but she didn’t want anybody to visit her. She knew how bad she looked. “I can’t have visitors,” she added hastily.
“Oh sure. I understand that. But still, you’ll behome. It can’t be too long before you can come back to school.”
“Probably not,” she lied. “About Brain Bowl …”
“No
“Good morning, Melissa.” Dr. Rowan breezed into her room the next day, his face lit with a smile, a clipboard and a manila folder in his hand.
Warily she lowered the textbook she was studying. “My lab results?”
“Your lab results.” He flipped open the folder. “Your platelet count has stabilized and your white count is acceptable. However, there’s a marked decrease of polys, which means you’re still quite vulnerable to infection, so you’ll have to avoid crowds and keep that surgical mask on when you go outside … ”
“Outside?”
“I’m discharging you. Although we haven’t achieved remission yet, I think we’re close.”
Her mouth went dry over the news.
I should be happy about this
, she thought. But in reality, she was scared. She hated the hospital, but there she was sheltered, and her doctors and nurses were at hand to help her. At home, she’d be on her own. “Is it really safe for me to leave?”
“It’s both safe and necessary,” Dr. Rowan said, shaking his head of unruly hair. “You need to start leading a normal life again. Get back into the mainstream.”
Wasn’t that what she wanted too? “But what if I have a problem?”
“Your family will be instructed how to deal with most things. And if there’s something they can’t handle, or if there are any questions, I’m a phone call away. You aren’t being released from therapy, Melissa. Outpatient care is just one small step on the road to recovery.”
“Can I go back to school?”
“Not right away.”
“When?”
“I can’t say yet. Your chemo program will change, but until you’re on maintenance, I’d rather not have you in a classroom environment.”
“I want to be back in school in another week.”
“That’s too soon, Melissa.”
“When?”
“If all goes well, maybe after Christmas. It’ll be safer then.”
“Christmas! The school year will be half over by then.”
“But you’ll be stronger and more able to fight off infections.”
Melissa struggled against panic. Dr. Rowan couldn’t make her wait so long to return to school.She’d already missed most of October and part of November. She couldn’t stand the thought of staying out until January. “But the PSATs are being given next Saturday. I have to take them with my class. They’re for college.”
“You’re a stubborn girl, Melissa. Of course, I can’t forbid you, but it isn’t a good idea.”
Her palms were clammy. “It’s one test for just a few hours. My friend Jory can take me, stay with me, bring me straight back home.” She squared her chin. “I’ll wear my mask the whole time.” She imagined herself sitting in the vast auditorium with a surgical mask strapped to her face. The image caused her to shudder, but she’d do it if it meant she could take the test.
Dr. Rowan was speaking to her, but she heard only part of his speech. “… your mother comes I’ll have your discharge papers ready. Someone can bring you to the clinic day after tomorrow for your chemo. DeeDee Thomas will administer it, so you’ll still be seeing plenty of familiar faces. Feel free to come up here to the floor whenever you want to visit. It encourages the other patients, you know, seeing someone living on the outside. There’s a teen support group that meets once a month which you might like to join.”
Melissa nodded, unable to sort through all he was telling her. The only thing she cared about was that she was going home. When Jory called and Melissa told her, her friend squealed so loud Melissa had to hold the phone away from her ear.
“Everyone will be
so
glad!”
Melissa wanted everybody to know, but she didn’t want anybody to visit her. She knew how bad she looked. “I can’t have visitors,” she added hastily.
“Oh sure. I understand that. But still, you’ll behome. It can’t be too long before you can come back to school.”
“Probably not,” she lied. “About Brain Bowl …”
“No
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