immune to the
suffering of it at times. I just wasn’t thinking.’
‘No. You’re reet, I should be with them.’ As she said this, Ada felt a calmness take her and knew that she was the right one to be with Mabel and Agatha, and to tell them the
terrible news. She knew how gut-wrenching it would be for them, and how their world as they knew it would come to an end, never to be properly mended again. She knew the hollow feeling, the
devastation wrought – as if everything before the moment you heard your son was dead was all for nothing. Penny wouldn’t know that, or how to deal with it, as she’d never birthed
any young ’uns. Standing tall, Ada said, ‘Don’t send me home. At least not without Mabel and Agatha. I’ve got meself together. I’ll tell them, and then I’ll take
them home and stay with them. They will know that I understand.’
Aye, that’s what I thought. Y’know, I could have married. I had me chances, but it never appealed to me. And now, seeing what all of you are going through – lasses as were at
school with me, suffering like you are – I’m glad I didn’t. Reet, I’ll have Agatha and Mabel sent up here. God, it’s a cruel world, Ada. A cruel world.’
Feeling sick at the prospect of seeing Mabel and Agatha, Ada jumped when the door opened. Joe entered first, followed by the white-faced and shaking Mabel and Agatha.
They know,
Ada
thought. There was no other reason they’d be summoned here, and their haunted looks told of their fear. And she was to confirm it for them.
Penny asked the two women to sit down. They did so as if someone was working them with strings. Ada looked over at Joe and felt a nerve twitch inside her, as she read the love that he had for
her shining from his eyes. Unable to deal with his feelings, or her own, she concentrated on Agatha and Mildred and what she had to tell them. ‘Eeh, me lasses. How can I tell thee what I have
to say?’
There was no need for her to say any more. Agatha’s and Mildred’s screams of ‘No, no!’ wrenched at her heart and tore open her own wounds. She moved to be in the middle
of them, and let her own tears flow with theirs. She’d never been close to either of these women, they were just acquaintances, but they now felt like kin as she held them. She didn’t
protest at their wails, but allowed them to vent their anguish. And when Penny tried to calm them with the soothing, inadequate words of ‘Now, now’, Ada quietened her by saying,
‘Let them be. It is best out. Nothing lessens the pain, but this outpouring gives a little release and stops you going mad.’
From where she squatted, Ada looked up at Joe. His face was wet with streaming tears. At that moment it didn’t take the jolt of her heart to tell her that he was very special; and yes, she
could admit it, he had filtered into her emotions. The feeling came with the urge to run to him and be held by him; but for now she needed to be strong for Mabel and Agatha, and her own feelings
had to be shelved.
Aye, and she’d shelved Paddy, an’ all. She knew that now. In the context of everything, he was nothing. And it came to her that she would go and see Beryl and help her through
everything she had to face. What did it matter who had fathered the babby? All that mattered was that she should make sure the babby and Beryl were all right.
She didn’t know how she came to this understanding, but what Paddy and Beryl had done suddenly paled in the face of everything else. Not that she would forgive them totally. They
didn’t deserve that, but she could get to a place where she could cope with it. However, no matter what, she knew she would never get to a place where she wanted to stay with Paddy. No, the
last thread of her feeling for him had been severed.
7
Andrina and Eloise
Rossworth Hall, mid-July 1916
A shocking tragedy
Andrina released a sigh of relief. Once more she’d been able to dodge Eloise and take her walk alone. This meant she
suffering of it at times. I just wasn’t thinking.’
‘No. You’re reet, I should be with them.’ As she said this, Ada felt a calmness take her and knew that she was the right one to be with Mabel and Agatha, and to tell them the
terrible news. She knew how gut-wrenching it would be for them, and how their world as they knew it would come to an end, never to be properly mended again. She knew the hollow feeling, the
devastation wrought – as if everything before the moment you heard your son was dead was all for nothing. Penny wouldn’t know that, or how to deal with it, as she’d never birthed
any young ’uns. Standing tall, Ada said, ‘Don’t send me home. At least not without Mabel and Agatha. I’ve got meself together. I’ll tell them, and then I’ll take
them home and stay with them. They will know that I understand.’
Aye, that’s what I thought. Y’know, I could have married. I had me chances, but it never appealed to me. And now, seeing what all of you are going through – lasses as were at
school with me, suffering like you are – I’m glad I didn’t. Reet, I’ll have Agatha and Mabel sent up here. God, it’s a cruel world, Ada. A cruel world.’
Feeling sick at the prospect of seeing Mabel and Agatha, Ada jumped when the door opened. Joe entered first, followed by the white-faced and shaking Mabel and Agatha.
They know,
Ada
thought. There was no other reason they’d be summoned here, and their haunted looks told of their fear. And she was to confirm it for them.
Penny asked the two women to sit down. They did so as if someone was working them with strings. Ada looked over at Joe and felt a nerve twitch inside her, as she read the love that he had for
her shining from his eyes. Unable to deal with his feelings, or her own, she concentrated on Agatha and Mildred and what she had to tell them. ‘Eeh, me lasses. How can I tell thee what I have
to say?’
There was no need for her to say any more. Agatha’s and Mildred’s screams of ‘No, no!’ wrenched at her heart and tore open her own wounds. She moved to be in the middle
of them, and let her own tears flow with theirs. She’d never been close to either of these women, they were just acquaintances, but they now felt like kin as she held them. She didn’t
protest at their wails, but allowed them to vent their anguish. And when Penny tried to calm them with the soothing, inadequate words of ‘Now, now’, Ada quietened her by saying,
‘Let them be. It is best out. Nothing lessens the pain, but this outpouring gives a little release and stops you going mad.’
From where she squatted, Ada looked up at Joe. His face was wet with streaming tears. At that moment it didn’t take the jolt of her heart to tell her that he was very special; and yes, she
could admit it, he had filtered into her emotions. The feeling came with the urge to run to him and be held by him; but for now she needed to be strong for Mabel and Agatha, and her own feelings
had to be shelved.
Aye, and she’d shelved Paddy, an’ all. She knew that now. In the context of everything, he was nothing. And it came to her that she would go and see Beryl and help her through
everything she had to face. What did it matter who had fathered the babby? All that mattered was that she should make sure the babby and Beryl were all right.
She didn’t know how she came to this understanding, but what Paddy and Beryl had done suddenly paled in the face of everything else. Not that she would forgive them totally. They
didn’t deserve that, but she could get to a place where she could cope with it. However, no matter what, she knew she would never get to a place where she wanted to stay with Paddy. No, the
last thread of her feeling for him had been severed.
7
Andrina and Eloise
Rossworth Hall, mid-July 1916
A shocking tragedy
Andrina released a sigh of relief. Once more she’d been able to dodge Eloise and take her walk alone. This meant she
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