Jared.
"Something like that," he says, sighing. "It's complicated."
And we're back to that.
"If I ask for an explanation, will you give it to me?" I'm not sure why I ask him that instead of just asking him straight out for the truth. I guess I just dread hearing it, if I'm honest with myself. This is new. Whatever we're doing, it's new. If I start asking questions now, things are going to get a lot harder. Fast. And I'm not ready for that. Not yet.
I want a little more time. A little more of the floating feeling.
Maybe I'm being naive or a coward, but I can't help it.
He swallows and then nods. "I won't lie to you, Savannah," he promises. "No matter what, I'll always be honest with you." He stares at me so earnestly I believe him.
"But you don't want to tell me," I say.
"It's not that. Remember what you asked me last night? About Lexi?" he clarifies.
"I remember." How could I forget him telling me that she's in danger? Or that he's going to make sure she isn't hurt? "Chris and Demetri are really here to help keep her safe," I guess, putting it all together. It's not hard to do, not when I've already been given so many little pieces of the puzzle.
Jared nods again. "I'll tell you everything if you want me to, I promise you that. But I need time to work a few things out. Can you trust that?" The way he says it is less can you trust that and more will you try to trust me .
I hesitate briefly before nodding.
He notices my hesitation and exhales, weariness seeping into his expression. He seems so tired suddenly, as if he's fighting a battle he isn't sure he's going to win. "I don't want you in the middle, beautiful girl."
I don't really know what he means by that, but I'm almost positive I don't want to be in the middle of whatever's going on. Whatever it is, whatever he's not telling me… it's big and frightening. And right now, I don't need anything else to fear.
"Okay," I say, my decision made. I may regret it later, but for now, for this moment at least, I'm not going to push. I don't want to. "Then let's go to lunch."
The smile he gives me is blinding.
My stomach does another little somersault.
Jared reaches across the console for my hand as we speed south on I-80 an hour later. We're in his flashy grey car, the music turned up just loud enough to offer a little background noise. He glances over at me and grins before turning his attention back to the road.
This trip is so different than our last ride together… I can't help the smile on my face. There's no tension here, no misery. Everything is good. The sky is clear blue. There's no traffic. Jared hums quietly along with the radio, his fingers laced together with mine.
I want to break out in song.
"You look happy."
"I am."
Jared laughs, his lips turned up at the corners. "Don't sound so surprised, beautiful girl."
"I think I am," I admit. "Surprised, I mean."
"Yeah?" He glances at me again, his eyebrow arched in question though that soft smile still lingers on his lips.
"I'd forgotten how this feels." My confession is quiet, but honest. I truthfully can't remember the last time I felt so good. Like I can breathe a little easier for once. There are complications all around us, but I have my feet beneath me for the first time since I landed at the airport.
Jared lifts my hand to his lips and presses a kiss to my knuckles. "Happy looks good on you, Savannah."
I smile at him again, blushing, and we both lapse into companionable silence once more.
"Can I ask you a question?" he asks eventually.
Nodding, I shift in my seat a little so I can see him better.
"Did he hit you?" The question is faint, but intense. So is the way he avoids my gaze.
My heart beats a little faster, anxiety shooting through me. I take a deep breath and manage to push the swell of fear back down. "No," I whisper. "He never…" I stop myself before I can say that Toby never abused me, because it'd be a lie. He never hit me, but he didn't have to hit me to make me
"Something like that," he says, sighing. "It's complicated."
And we're back to that.
"If I ask for an explanation, will you give it to me?" I'm not sure why I ask him that instead of just asking him straight out for the truth. I guess I just dread hearing it, if I'm honest with myself. This is new. Whatever we're doing, it's new. If I start asking questions now, things are going to get a lot harder. Fast. And I'm not ready for that. Not yet.
I want a little more time. A little more of the floating feeling.
Maybe I'm being naive or a coward, but I can't help it.
He swallows and then nods. "I won't lie to you, Savannah," he promises. "No matter what, I'll always be honest with you." He stares at me so earnestly I believe him.
"But you don't want to tell me," I say.
"It's not that. Remember what you asked me last night? About Lexi?" he clarifies.
"I remember." How could I forget him telling me that she's in danger? Or that he's going to make sure she isn't hurt? "Chris and Demetri are really here to help keep her safe," I guess, putting it all together. It's not hard to do, not when I've already been given so many little pieces of the puzzle.
Jared nods again. "I'll tell you everything if you want me to, I promise you that. But I need time to work a few things out. Can you trust that?" The way he says it is less can you trust that and more will you try to trust me .
I hesitate briefly before nodding.
He notices my hesitation and exhales, weariness seeping into his expression. He seems so tired suddenly, as if he's fighting a battle he isn't sure he's going to win. "I don't want you in the middle, beautiful girl."
I don't really know what he means by that, but I'm almost positive I don't want to be in the middle of whatever's going on. Whatever it is, whatever he's not telling me… it's big and frightening. And right now, I don't need anything else to fear.
"Okay," I say, my decision made. I may regret it later, but for now, for this moment at least, I'm not going to push. I don't want to. "Then let's go to lunch."
The smile he gives me is blinding.
My stomach does another little somersault.
Jared reaches across the console for my hand as we speed south on I-80 an hour later. We're in his flashy grey car, the music turned up just loud enough to offer a little background noise. He glances over at me and grins before turning his attention back to the road.
This trip is so different than our last ride together… I can't help the smile on my face. There's no tension here, no misery. Everything is good. The sky is clear blue. There's no traffic. Jared hums quietly along with the radio, his fingers laced together with mine.
I want to break out in song.
"You look happy."
"I am."
Jared laughs, his lips turned up at the corners. "Don't sound so surprised, beautiful girl."
"I think I am," I admit. "Surprised, I mean."
"Yeah?" He glances at me again, his eyebrow arched in question though that soft smile still lingers on his lips.
"I'd forgotten how this feels." My confession is quiet, but honest. I truthfully can't remember the last time I felt so good. Like I can breathe a little easier for once. There are complications all around us, but I have my feet beneath me for the first time since I landed at the airport.
Jared lifts my hand to his lips and presses a kiss to my knuckles. "Happy looks good on you, Savannah."
I smile at him again, blushing, and we both lapse into companionable silence once more.
"Can I ask you a question?" he asks eventually.
Nodding, I shift in my seat a little so I can see him better.
"Did he hit you?" The question is faint, but intense. So is the way he avoids my gaze.
My heart beats a little faster, anxiety shooting through me. I take a deep breath and manage to push the swell of fear back down. "No," I whisper. "He never…" I stop myself before I can say that Toby never abused me, because it'd be a lie. He never hit me, but he didn't have to hit me to make me