had just dropped by about ten degrees. He turned his gaze on her.
He had never seen an expression like that one on her face before. And he wasn’t exactly thrilled to see it now.
“What do you mean, George?” Each word was spoken very individually, with a slight pause between each one.
It was as if she were giving him the opportunity to say, “They’ve asked me to father the child, but of course, I said no.”
Which, of course, wasn’t at all what he was going to say.
“I’m going to serve as Gannaum.” He tried to sound as pleasant as inhumanly possible. But there was just enough of a hint of fact in his voice to make it clear that this was not a topic that he was throwing open to the floor for discussion.
Buck grinned broadly. “Cool.” Emily was also smiling.
Susan looked around at them, feeling that if they looked so chipper about this, then maybe there was some positive aspect to it that she had not quite caught on to yet. “Wait a minute,” she said, feeling a desperate need to clarify things. “You’re going to have sex with May?”
“No duh, Mom,” said Emily, using that annoying irony that only preteens can muster. “How else?”
Encouraged by the positive and enlightened reactions of his offspring, George said to them—but also, and mostly, to Susan—“Isn’t it wonderful that I can help them like this?”
“I don’t think it’s wonderful,” said Susan, so quickly that the words spilled over each other. “I think it’s highly . . . inappropriate.”
Her entire family stared at her.
George couldn’t believe it. The thought that Matt could have so accurately, and easily, been more correct about Susan’s reaction than George possibly would have credited, was simply overwhelming. Unable to muster any sort of coherent reply, he simply echoed her last word. “Inappropriate?”
And that was when, as far as George was concerned, his beloved wife completely lost her mind.
Her voice went up in alarm as she said, “Actually, it’s . . . perverted! Gannaums don’t go around servicing the wives of Binnaums . . . who aren’t supposed to get married anyway!”
“It happens,” said George lamely.
“When?! Name me one time!” She stuck an upraised finger in his face.
He pushed her hand aside and admitted, “All right, it’s unusual. But I don’t see why it’s perverted.”
She slammed her fists down with such force that she rattled everything on the table. “You’re having sex with Albert’s wife!”
“Albert had sex with you!” shot back George. “You didn’t object to that!”
Emily and Buck were astounded. Whenever their parents argued, it was usually about boring stuff like money. But arguing about sex! This was incredible! Usually stuff like this only happened on television. Their heads snapped back and forth, looking from their mother to their father and back again, as if they were at a tennis match.
“Albert didn’t have sex with me!” Susan said firmly. “He catalyzed me.”
“Call it what you will. The same body parts were involved.”
Then Susan made a mental leap that George really wished she hadn’t made. If she’d reacted this badly to something that he felt was nothing horrible, how was she going to take the really unpleasant part of this whole business. The answer was not very well.
“What about me?” she demanded. “To impregnate May, you’ll have to accumulate bah\na fluid. We won’t be able to have sex for a month!”
“Can’t we sacrifice for our friends?” he asked plaintively, hoping to appeal to some remnant of the nice, sane Susan that he’d married.
“Some sacrifice! You’re out playing around with another woman!”
“ ‘Playing around’?” Finally, George couldn’t control himself anymore. He had managed to contain his temper thus far, but now his voice rose in volume. “You sound like a human!”
Susan blanched. “That’s a terrible thing to say!”
“You know what I think?” George pressed, finally
He had never seen an expression like that one on her face before. And he wasn’t exactly thrilled to see it now.
“What do you mean, George?” Each word was spoken very individually, with a slight pause between each one.
It was as if she were giving him the opportunity to say, “They’ve asked me to father the child, but of course, I said no.”
Which, of course, wasn’t at all what he was going to say.
“I’m going to serve as Gannaum.” He tried to sound as pleasant as inhumanly possible. But there was just enough of a hint of fact in his voice to make it clear that this was not a topic that he was throwing open to the floor for discussion.
Buck grinned broadly. “Cool.” Emily was also smiling.
Susan looked around at them, feeling that if they looked so chipper about this, then maybe there was some positive aspect to it that she had not quite caught on to yet. “Wait a minute,” she said, feeling a desperate need to clarify things. “You’re going to have sex with May?”
“No duh, Mom,” said Emily, using that annoying irony that only preteens can muster. “How else?”
Encouraged by the positive and enlightened reactions of his offspring, George said to them—but also, and mostly, to Susan—“Isn’t it wonderful that I can help them like this?”
“I don’t think it’s wonderful,” said Susan, so quickly that the words spilled over each other. “I think it’s highly . . . inappropriate.”
Her entire family stared at her.
George couldn’t believe it. The thought that Matt could have so accurately, and easily, been more correct about Susan’s reaction than George possibly would have credited, was simply overwhelming. Unable to muster any sort of coherent reply, he simply echoed her last word. “Inappropriate?”
And that was when, as far as George was concerned, his beloved wife completely lost her mind.
Her voice went up in alarm as she said, “Actually, it’s . . . perverted! Gannaums don’t go around servicing the wives of Binnaums . . . who aren’t supposed to get married anyway!”
“It happens,” said George lamely.
“When?! Name me one time!” She stuck an upraised finger in his face.
He pushed her hand aside and admitted, “All right, it’s unusual. But I don’t see why it’s perverted.”
She slammed her fists down with such force that she rattled everything on the table. “You’re having sex with Albert’s wife!”
“Albert had sex with you!” shot back George. “You didn’t object to that!”
Emily and Buck were astounded. Whenever their parents argued, it was usually about boring stuff like money. But arguing about sex! This was incredible! Usually stuff like this only happened on television. Their heads snapped back and forth, looking from their mother to their father and back again, as if they were at a tennis match.
“Albert didn’t have sex with me!” Susan said firmly. “He catalyzed me.”
“Call it what you will. The same body parts were involved.”
Then Susan made a mental leap that George really wished she hadn’t made. If she’d reacted this badly to something that he felt was nothing horrible, how was she going to take the really unpleasant part of this whole business. The answer was not very well.
“What about me?” she demanded. “To impregnate May, you’ll have to accumulate bah\na fluid. We won’t be able to have sex for a month!”
“Can’t we sacrifice for our friends?” he asked plaintively, hoping to appeal to some remnant of the nice, sane Susan that he’d married.
“Some sacrifice! You’re out playing around with another woman!”
“ ‘Playing around’?” Finally, George couldn’t control himself anymore. He had managed to contain his temper thus far, but now his voice rose in volume. “You sound like a human!”
Susan blanched. “That’s a terrible thing to say!”
“You know what I think?” George pressed, finally
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