Alaskan-Reunion by CBelle Page A

years ago, I lost fourteen months of my daughter’s life. Pushing Paige out of town had consequences. Every time I look at Paige, I’m consumed by so much guilt and regret. I need some time to process all of these feelings.”
    Boone clapped him on the shoulder. “You’re a good man. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Wallowing in the past won’t move you toward your future.”
    His future. He didn’t know exactly what that meant. No doubt it would be full of diapers and sippy cups and all kinds of girlie things he had no clue about. Taffeta and lace. Pink teddy bears and tiaras. Dolls and tea parties. He pressed his eyes closed as anxiety gnawed at him. Was he up for the challenges of fatherhood? He was coming at it late in the game. He wasn’t so sure it would be easy to play catch-up.
    He still hadn’t discussed any specifics with Paige. Would Emma be growing up here in Love or back in Seattle? Was he going to be raising his daughter long-distance or sharing custody with Paige? His heart ached at the thought of how confusing two households in different states would be. His own parents’ divorce had shattered his childhood, and when his mother had left Alaska for greener pastures, it had left a hole inside him that nothing or no one had ever been able to fill. Throw in a father who had rambled all over the world, only returning home when it suited him, and the situation had amounted to nothing more than a fine mess.
    His own life had been shaped by parental abandonment. He’d struggled for so many years with feelings of loss and unworthiness. The thought of making Emma experience those same emotions gutted him. And he knew a part of him resented Paige for creating another loss in his life.
    “Truth is, everything feels like it’s crashing down on me at once. It’s not like there’s a road map pointing me in a specific direction,” he admitted.
    Boone made a tutting sound. “If you don’t see the possibilities, I’m afraid you’re going to blow this opportunity to smithereens.”
    “Opportunity for what? I’m a little skeptical about happily-ever-afters,” he scoffed. “Our parents didn’t exactly give us a lot of hope for one.”
    Boone clucked his tongue. “If you have to ask that question, something tells me you’re not ready yet to embrace the big picture.” Boone pointed his chin in Paige’s direction. “Just don’t wait too long to decide what you want. In a town with a shortage of women, there are plenty of men here in Love who won’t hesitate to court Paige.”
    After shooting him a pointed look, Boone ambled off to join Declan at his table. Cameron shook his head at his brother’s retreating figure. Since Boone was now ecstatically in love and married to his one and only, it was easy for him to dole out relationship advice. Boone was viewing things through rose-colored glasses. He wasn’t acknowledging all of the very real obstacles that stood between him and Paige. How could he forge something new with Paige when he still questioned her role in the embezzlement that had rocked his hometown? And it was no small issue that she had kept his daughter’s existence from him for all this time.
    Cameron wished he still believed in things like white picket fences and dream houses with views of the mountains. He wished that things weren’t so complicated with the only woman he had ever loved. A life without Paige had already proved to be a life with less color and zest. Making it through these past two years without her had brought him to his knees. He had emerged on the other side, but surely not a better man than the one who had loved so gloriously. And been loved in return.
    He wasn’t sure that he and Paige could ever get there again. Not when their past had been littered with so much friction and lying and judgment. Sometimes it was best to accept things the way they were and move on. Maybe this was one of those occasions, he realized.
    And that knowledge was all kinds of heartbreaking