Agnes and the Hitman by Jennifer Crusie Page A

Evie Beale when she was just eighteen and has spent the rest of his life drinking and screwing everything in sight.”
    Agnes blinked at her. “Palmer is like his father? That’s ridiculous, Palmer is Evie’s baby, Palmer wouldn’t say boo to a goose, let alone proposition one. I still don’t know how he got Maria into bed.” She hesitated for a minute. “Actually, I’m not sure he ...”
    “Yeah, he did,” Lisa Livia said. “I asked because I didn’t want her marrying him because he was sweet and rich and then getting bored in the first week. She said the sex was great and I should stop making assumptions and she was very happy. Now she’s not so sure, because Brenda’s planted this idea that he’s going to turn out like his father.”
    “Why would she do that?” Agnes said, mystified.
    “Because she’s trying to stop the wedding. This morning when I got into town, I waited until Brenda left the yacht, and then I went aboard and starting going through her stuff to see what she was up to.” Lisa Livia looked at Agnes over her wineglass, her big brown eyes huge. “She’s swindling you.”
    “What?” Agnes frowned. “No. Not Brenda. I mean, I mean she’s being difficult, but I think that’s just because she’s having to deal with these people who have shut her out all these years. You should have seen her face when—”
    “She holds your mortgage,” Lisa Livia said. “Why didn’t you go through a bank, you dumbass?”
    “She gave us a better rate.” Agnes put her glass down. “Taylor had our lawyer look at the papers. They’re standard. I mean, they’re boilerplate. It’s the exact same contract that Evie gave Palmer and Maria for the house they’re buying next door to the Keyes place. The only clause Brenda added was that Maria hold her wedding here, and that’s not a problem, I want Maria’s wedding here, plus I get three months’ mortgage payments free if I do it. It’s a great deal.”
    “I know it’s standard, and I know it’s the same one Evie gave Palmer.” Lisa Livia rolled her eyes at Agnes’s obtuseness. “The difference is, Evie loves Palmer. It’s also the kind used by crooked lenders to rip off buyers all the time. You think the Real Estate King became King by playing fair and square? Brenda learned everything she knows about selling houses from him. She’s taking you, Ag.”
    This is ridiculous. Agnes pulled back a little. “LL, the contract just says I have to let Maria get married here, it doesn’t say she has to get married. I know you and your mother have your problems—”
    “She’s a vicious bitch,” Lisa Livia said, and finished off her wine.
    “—but she’s not a crook.”
    “She killed my father,” Lisa Livia said. “Real estate fraud is a step up for her.”
    Here we go again, Agnes thought. “Look, you’re the best friend a woman could possibly have until you get started on your mother—”
    “Okay, you think I’m crazy, but just listen to me.” Lisa Livia put her glass on the table and leaned forward, her tube top shifting in ways Agnes could not possibly appreciate and yet somehow was glad that Shane was not there to witness. “You know that clause that says that if you’re in default of your payments for three months, the lender gets the house back?”
    “Yes,” Agnes said patiently, “but that’s a standard clause, and we’re not in default.”
    “But you will be,” Lisa Livia said, just as patiently. “If Maria doesn’t have her wedding here, Saturday, by noon, you are in default.” She picked up her bag and pulled out a paper and handed it to Agnes. “Remember this?”
    Agnes looked at it. “Yes. It’s the wedding agreement. We’re having the wedding here in exchange for ... the first three months’ mortgage payments.”
    Lisa Livia nodded. “Those three payments are past due if the wedding doesn’t happen here.”
    Agnes heard Brenda say, If we held it at the country club ... “What?” Lisa Livia said,