pulled out the men’s T-shirt and held it up for him at
the next change of lights.
He wrinkled his nose. ‘That’s it?’ he said. ‘That’s not an answer, that’s a fifteen-dollar
shirt.’
‘There was that card,’ I responded numbly, feeling his disappointment; I felt it,
too. Eve—I couldn’t bring myself to call her Monica —hadn’t given us enough to go
on.
We were two streets away from The Star. I slumped down lower in my seat in case it
was a slow news day and rabid journos were still parked out front. While I was making
myself as small as possible, Jordan fished the card out of the plastic bag and rested
it on the dashboard, re-reading it out loud.
To Carter K – for services rendered.
Always, M x
‘No good,’ he muttered as he took the narrow, concealed entrance that fed into Sancerre
Lane and the back entrance of The Star. ‘Gives us nothing.’
‘You’re telling me?’
Jordan dug around in the bag some more and retrieved the blue envelope. His expression
suddenly changed and he turned the front of it in my direction as he steered the
car slowly up the lane.
‘Carter Kelly,’ I read aloud. It was written in the same loopy hand from the inside
of the Thank You! card.
Eve had maybe started to write the guy’s address on the front. There was a single
vertical line under the name. But she’d never gotten any further before she’d shoved
the envelope back in the bag.
‘How many C. Kelly’s could there be in the book?’ I said wearily as we bumped down
the cobbles towards home past the usual array of locked up, spray-painted garage
doors.
‘Plenty,’ Jordan replied with a frown. ‘That’s the problem. People called Kelly aren’t
exactly thin on the ground. You’d have to call each one. And the right guy might
not even be listed.’
‘I can start looking once I get inside,’ I murmured. ‘I’ll be fine once I get inside.
Really, I’ll take it from here. I’m used to Eve’s, um…’
‘ Methodologies ?’ Jordan cut in. ‘I still don’t know how you identified all those
people if this is the kind of help she gives you. You’re amazing, you know that?’
‘Like, the opposite of,’ I retorted, leaning back against my headrest.
I looked up through the window at a sudden bright break in the clouds, feeling the
faint warmth of the late afternoon sun on my face for the first time that day. I
closed my eyes momentarily.
‘It was all dumb luck, J. The usual way I operate.’
He pulled to a stop outside The Star’s fire door. I scraped myself together and undid
my seat belt. Everything hurt. To make matters worse, I had to tip my head back at
an oblique angle to stop the snot from leaking out my nose in a thin stream.
Jordan leaned back against the driver’s door, looked at me. ‘I’ll just come in, make
sure you’re okay,’ he said in a neutral voice.
Wordlessly, I popped my own door and shouldered it open, almost falling flat on my
face on the bluestone cobbles outside.
As Jordan pushed open his door, I held up one hand, palm out, noticing with a detached,
I’m-about-to-burn-all-my-bridges-with-the-hottest-guy-in-school kind of calm, that
I was noticeably swaying from side to side like a drunk elephant. The urge to flee
was rising in me, like a scream.
‘I need a bad-ass dose of antihistamines,’ I rasped into his face across the roof
of the car, swiping at my nose with the back of my sleeve for that extra touch of
elegance. ‘What I don’t need, Jordan Haig,’ I added, wagging a shaky finger at him,
‘is expectation and hope. I need to get this goddamned phase of my life over with
so that my sparklyarkly future—whatever that is—can start. Now just go home, will
you?’
I squinted at my surroundings beadily, imagining a lingering scent of violets wrapping
around me in the chill air and swung my pointer finger in a semi-circle.
‘All of you. Go home . Trouble me no further this night.’
Having delivered possibly the last words I would ever
the next change of lights.
He wrinkled his nose. ‘That’s it?’ he said. ‘That’s not an answer, that’s a fifteen-dollar
shirt.’
‘There was that card,’ I responded numbly, feeling his disappointment; I felt it,
too. Eve—I couldn’t bring myself to call her Monica —hadn’t given us enough to go
on.
We were two streets away from The Star. I slumped down lower in my seat in case it
was a slow news day and rabid journos were still parked out front. While I was making
myself as small as possible, Jordan fished the card out of the plastic bag and rested
it on the dashboard, re-reading it out loud.
To Carter K – for services rendered.
Always, M x
‘No good,’ he muttered as he took the narrow, concealed entrance that fed into Sancerre
Lane and the back entrance of The Star. ‘Gives us nothing.’
‘You’re telling me?’
Jordan dug around in the bag some more and retrieved the blue envelope. His expression
suddenly changed and he turned the front of it in my direction as he steered the
car slowly up the lane.
‘Carter Kelly,’ I read aloud. It was written in the same loopy hand from the inside
of the Thank You! card.
Eve had maybe started to write the guy’s address on the front. There was a single
vertical line under the name. But she’d never gotten any further before she’d shoved
the envelope back in the bag.
‘How many C. Kelly’s could there be in the book?’ I said wearily as we bumped down
the cobbles towards home past the usual array of locked up, spray-painted garage
doors.
‘Plenty,’ Jordan replied with a frown. ‘That’s the problem. People called Kelly aren’t
exactly thin on the ground. You’d have to call each one. And the right guy might
not even be listed.’
‘I can start looking once I get inside,’ I murmured. ‘I’ll be fine once I get inside.
Really, I’ll take it from here. I’m used to Eve’s, um…’
‘ Methodologies ?’ Jordan cut in. ‘I still don’t know how you identified all those
people if this is the kind of help she gives you. You’re amazing, you know that?’
‘Like, the opposite of,’ I retorted, leaning back against my headrest.
I looked up through the window at a sudden bright break in the clouds, feeling the
faint warmth of the late afternoon sun on my face for the first time that day. I
closed my eyes momentarily.
‘It was all dumb luck, J. The usual way I operate.’
He pulled to a stop outside The Star’s fire door. I scraped myself together and undid
my seat belt. Everything hurt. To make matters worse, I had to tip my head back at
an oblique angle to stop the snot from leaking out my nose in a thin stream.
Jordan leaned back against the driver’s door, looked at me. ‘I’ll just come in, make
sure you’re okay,’ he said in a neutral voice.
Wordlessly, I popped my own door and shouldered it open, almost falling flat on my
face on the bluestone cobbles outside.
As Jordan pushed open his door, I held up one hand, palm out, noticing with a detached,
I’m-about-to-burn-all-my-bridges-with-the-hottest-guy-in-school kind of calm, that
I was noticeably swaying from side to side like a drunk elephant. The urge to flee
was rising in me, like a scream.
‘I need a bad-ass dose of antihistamines,’ I rasped into his face across the roof
of the car, swiping at my nose with the back of my sleeve for that extra touch of
elegance. ‘What I don’t need, Jordan Haig,’ I added, wagging a shaky finger at him,
‘is expectation and hope. I need to get this goddamned phase of my life over with
so that my sparklyarkly future—whatever that is—can start. Now just go home, will
you?’
I squinted at my surroundings beadily, imagining a lingering scent of violets wrapping
around me in the chill air and swung my pointer finger in a semi-circle.
‘All of you. Go home . Trouble me no further this night.’
Having delivered possibly the last words I would ever
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